S1 Episode 10: Once Upon a Time Traveller
by firebreathingfishies
Summary: The Doctor and Ashley visit the planet Fanallasoratia, a planet which was the basis for most of Earth's fairytales, only upon arrival they find the place empty with a dragon prowling the skies. COMPLETE!
1. Riddle Me This

**A/N: Okay, why break the habit of a lifetime? I always post the next episode practically the day after I finished the last, so... here we go lol! ALL THE CREDIT for this story goes to ScreamsOnScreen, who is not only a freakin' awesome reviewer, but she was lurverly enough to let me use a damned good idea of hers. I think it's brilliant anyway :p It's probably going to be longer than the others, perhaps about 16 - 17 chapters or so, but normally when I plan then out they end up being longer... so it could be anywhere up to 20 chapters. I don't know why I'm rambling so much... so I'll stop. Read! Review! Enjoy! xx**

**Oh yeah, and before I'm sued, the riddle used in this chapter belongs to the Grimm Brothers. Not me :p**

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**Chapter One**

**Riddle Me This**

The Doctor hauled the doors of the TARDIS open with a broad grin. He took in a deep breath through his nostrils, and then let it out again with an '_Ahh_'. Behind him, Ashley poked her head out from beneath his arm. She looked around with wide excited eyes, not knowing what to expect. She couldn't help but be slightly disappointed by what she did see.

The Doctor hopped out onto the dewy green grass, still grinning. He whirled around to Ashley, arms outstretched. 'Well? What do you think?'

Ashley stepped out, closing the door behind her. The first thing she noticed was the chill in the air, and she automatically wrapped her arms around herself. She glanced around, not wanting to look disappointed but unable to help it. 'We're on the top of a mountain… or something.' She replied.

The Doctor nodded. 'Of course we are! You get the best views from mountains.'

'You don't want to re-enact _The Hills Are Alive_, do you?'

The Doctor shrugged. 'Well I've always liked Julie Andrews…'

Ashley cocked an eyebrow at him and looked around. She could see nothing but a brilliantly blue sky above them, littered with fluffy cotton-wool clouds. She couldn't see over the edge of the mountain at the landscape below, but something told her that it probably matched the soft natural feel of the top of the mountain. The grass was a vibrant green and seemed like it had just been neatly mowed. Brilliant and colourful flowers poked up in neat rows, not a single weed amongst them. Just a little behind the Tardis stood a large tree with an elaborately knotted trunk and full of bright green leaves. There wasn't a fault to be seen anywhere, but also nothing of interest if you weren't an avid gardener.

'Where are we then?' she asked.

The Doctor grinned, his eyes sparkling. She couldn't help but smile back at him. She shouldn't doubt him. If he brought her here, it was because it was going to knock her for six. She expected a steady stream of information about some distant planet and its occupants in response, but what she didn't expect was what he said to her.

'Three woman were transformed into flowers, which stood in a field,' the Doctor told her, much to her bewilderment. 'However, one of them was allowed to be in her own house at night. One time when day was approaching, and she would have to go back to her companions in the field and become a flower again, she said to her husband, "If you will come this morning and pick me, I shall be set free and stay with you from then on". And this is what happened.'

Ashley blinked at him. 'Did someone whack you over the head again or something?' she asked.

The Doctor held up a finger, smiling. 'Now the question is, how did her husband recognise her, for the flowers were exactly alike, and without any difference?'

Ashley continued to stare at him, and then realised that he was expecting her to answer. She thought for a moment. 'Um… maybe she… uh… Maybe the husband didn't go to pick her because all she did was nag and he was happier without her, so it didn't matter?'

The Doctor's shoulders slumped and his face scrunched up. 'Oh Ashley! You've never heard that before? Seriously?'

She shrugged her shoulders at him and made an indifferent sound.

Rolling his eyes, the Doctor sighed. 'While she was in her house during the night and not in the field, the dew did not fall on her as it did on the other two, and by this her husband recognised her.'

Ashley raised an eyebrow. 'That's supposed to be clever is it? And that's got what to do with the price of cheese?'

'Cheese?' the Doctor screwed up his face even more.

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'It's a saying.'

'You've never heard _Rätselmärchen_? _A Riddling Tale_?'

'Well I think it's pretty clear that I haven't so can you stop acting so baffled by my moronic ignorance and tell me what it's got to do with standing on top of a mountain?'

'You've heard of the Brothers Grimm at least, right?'

'Oh yeah!' Ashley beamed, her confusion briefly passing. 'With uh… Matt Damon and Heath Ledger?'

The Doctor stared at her and said nothing. Her smile faded and she looked away innocently, pushing her hands in her pockets.

'Anyway,' he said finally, choosing to ignore her last statement. 'You're aware of the Grimm fairytales and that's all you need to know really.'

Ashley laughed. 'Let me guess, we've landed on the planet that was the basis for the Grimm fairytales.'

The Doctor clicked his fingers and pointed at her with both hands. 'Got it in one.'

She looked at him, and then laughed. 'Right. Yeah sure. Because _that_ makes sense.'

'Come here my little sceptical companion,' he beamed, holding an arm out to her. 'And see for yourself.'

Ashley looked at him unsurely, and then moved forward. The Doctor wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her towards the edge of the mountain. As they got closer, more of the vast landscape came into view. And the more she saw, the more her jaw dropped.

'Holy… whoa.'

'Welcome to Fanallasoratia. The real life fantasy world.' The Doctor announced.

The landscape seemed to stretch on forever. Most of it was elaborate forest, with twisting trees and perfect green leaves. A smooth grey tower poked out from amongst the trees. Beyond that there was, what looked like, a town. It was hard to make out the details, but there was a tall steeple that twisted towards the sky. It looked like something out of a Tim Burton movie and looked peculiar against the vibrancy of the surrounding forest.

'How…' Ashley blinked. 'But if… How…?'

The Doctor squeezed her shoulders. 'Fanallasoratia is quite popular with the tourists. I mean, why wouldn't it be? They've got everything here. They get most of their income from flogging potions and the like. Their most popular one is the love potion, believe it or not. But really it's just a big con. All it does it heighten the potency of your pheromones. Eat enough goats cheese and it'll have the exact same effect. Tastes about the same too…'

Ashley shot him a bewildered glance, but he just carried on talking, caught up in his tour guide routine.

'Anyway,' he went on, animatedly. 'There's loads of attractions. Well… I say attractions but they're just the norm around here. It's like when you see tourists in your hometown taking photos of the shop you go to every morning. It's just _weird_. Although I don't think your hometown has talking trees.'

'Oh my god, what?' Ashley cried.

'Now settle down, we've got time to see everything.' The Doctor assured her. 'We should really go and see the gingerbread house. The old woman who lives there is lovely, really. Although there was that whole carry-on with Hansel and Gretal which was _totally_ blown out of proportion… I mean you wouldn't be best pleased either if you got up one morning to find two fat kids chewing through one of the main support beams of your house. Oh, and we need to go and see Rapunzel. I promised I'd go back to see her after…' He caught himself and noticed Ashley's curious stare. He cleared his throat. 'Um… it's not important.'

He turned and headed back towards the TARDIS. Ashley continued to look across the vast landscape for a moment, before hurrying after him.

'But this stuff is all made up stories!' she insisted. 'By those Grimm brothers. How can it all be here, on another planet?'

'Some moronic tourist from Clom left a tour guide book in a tavern in Germany. Someone had done the same thing a few centuries earlier but the stories got a bit scattered. Then the Grimm brothers got their hands on it, and the rest it history.'

Ashley blinked. 'So all those tales are true then? Like… Sleeping Beauty? And Beauty and the Beast?'

'Oh yeah,' the Doctor nodded. 'Princess Aurora does part time work on a stall selling replicas of her castle. Nice girl. Bit dim. The Beast and Belle have four kids now.'

Ashley continued to stare at him slack jawed. He pushed open the door of the TARDIS.

'Come on,' he grinned. 'Hop inside. I'll take us down so we don't have to risk falling to our death while climbing down this mountain, eh?'

Ashley blinked, and then moved past him without a word.

'Oh! And we have to go and see Rumpelstiltskin,' the Doctor added as he pulled the door shut. 'He still owes me a fiver.'


	2. Overhead

**Chapter Two **

**Overhead**

The TARDIS landed with a bump and the Doctor turned off the console. He snatched up his coat that hung over the metal rail and pulled it on. Ashley was already at the door, waiting for him.

'This is mental,' she grinned. 'Seriously, this is fairytale land?'

'I wouldn't call it that to any of the locals,' the Doctor told her with a wince. 'They weren't very happy when they found out about the Grimm fairytales. They felt like they were misrepresented. There would have been lawsuits but… well you humans get out of stuff like that pretty easily because you're so new.'

Ashley looked at him incredulously. 'New? Humans have been around for thousands of years!'

The Doctor snorted. 'That's nothing! There are races around that have been around for millions… no _billions_ of years. You're all new and shiny. I'd say you're all going through your terrible twos in the 20th Century. Blowing each other up all the time and destroying your planet. You'll get past that though.' He shot her a broad grin, but she didn't look impressed.

'Well I think we should get going before this turns into an argument.' Ashley warned, pulling open the door.

The Doctor looked bemused as he moved forward to join her side. 'What? Why would it turn into an argument?'

'Because yet again you're off patronising my planet. I might not care much for humans myself; they're bitchy and rude, but we're not all thick.'

'I'm not patronising your planet at all!' the Doctor insisted defensively. 'I'm just stating the fact that its not that old! Well the planet itself is a decent age… but humans! You're just starting out!'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'So in your eyes we're still rolling around in nappies and slinging spaghetti at each other.'

The Doctor shrugged as they both stepped outside. 'Well… yeah.'

The argument probably would have kicked off there and then if it weren't for the sight that greeted them. A cold breeze whipped around them and Ashley shivered against her will. The Doctor only seemed to stiffen briefly against it.

'I take it this isn't exactly tourist season then?' Ashley asked, scanning the deserted town.

The Doctor looked around with a troubled expression. 'No, quite the opposite.' He walked forward a little, and then stepped onto the cobbled road.

The buildings on either side of the street were irregular and old fashioned. It reminded Ashley of the old narrow streets in the Victorian times, although this street wasn't really all that narrow. The cobbles in the road were various pastel shades and tall elaborate streetlights stood at regular intervals down either side. The Doctor had wandered away a little, his hands in his pockets and looking around curiously. Ashley wandered in the other direction a little, taking in the shop signs. Most of them seemed like tourist shops. In the windows there were various trinkets and objects that fascinated Ashley. She smiled at them, and then glanced around to see where the Doctor had gotten.

'This place should be bustling!' he called to her, scratching his head. 'It's the middle of the day! Middle of tourist season! Where is everyone?'

Ashley made her way towards him, hugging herself against the increasing cold wind. 'I don't see why they have tourist season in the middle of winter. It's bloody freezing!'

The Doctor shook his head. 'It's not winter, that's the thing.' He looked around, frowning. 'Something's not right.'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'You think?' She sighed. 'Maybe everyone just went on holiday.'

'No, that's not it…'

Ashley sighed again. 'Can I go get my jacket? And then we can have a look around. I can tell you're just itching to start banging on doors.'

A smile flickered over his face. 'You can read me like a book.'

'Yeah. A book in brail.' Ashley muttered, and then headed back to the TARDIS to fetch her jacket. And her hat. And her gloves.

The Doctor smiled after her until she had disappeared inside, and then returned his attention to the deserted street. It didn't make any sense. The people of Fanallasoratia were practically money _mad_. It was rare they would shut down and leave at the peak of their business. Only something big would leave this place deserted. If only there was someone around for him to ask…

'You there!' a wheezy, high-pitched voice shrieked suddenly, accompanied by the sound of running footsteps. 'You have to get out of here!'

The Doctor whirled around to see a strangely stout person hurrying towards him, seemingly having trouble at keeping a decent speed. The figure waddled closer to him, and he could hear them panting for breath. It seemed to be a female, given they were dressed in a white dress covered in little flowers, but the shape wasn't right. It wasn't until they got within four meters of him that he realised who it was.

'Mrs Pernickety!' the Doctor beamed. 'Oh well fancy bumping into you again! How are you? How are the three little ones?'

Mrs Pernickety snorted through her snout, her pink ears twitching underneath her headscarf. She narrowed her small dark eyes at him for a moment, and then they widened. 'Doctor?' she enquired.

'Yeah, it's me!' he grinned. 'Oh it's been a long time. Last time I saw you the three little 'uns had just moved out! How did they get on?'

'There isn't time to talk, Doctor!' Mrs Pernickety snorted worriedly. 'You have to leave right now, before it's too late!'

The Doctor frowned again. 'Where is everyone?'

Mrs Pernickety glanced over her shoulder and oinked. 'I can't… It's _coming_!' She turned back to him with wide eyes. 'Get away from here, Doctor! Get away while you still can!'

With her final warning heeded, Mrs Pernickety hurried away down the street, short fat arms working as she rushed off. She wheezed and snorted. The Doctor didn't attempt to follow or stop her. A moment later, Ashley re emerged from the TARDIS, now wrapped up in a dark green body warmer, a black long sleeved shirt, stripy black, pink and purple mittens, and a matching bobble hat and scarf. She joined the Doctor's side and watched the strangely shaped woman waddling away.

'Who was that then?' she asked.

'Mrs Pernickety.' The Doctor replied distractedly. 'Probably better known to you as the mother of the three little pigs.'

Ashley looked at him, unable to just turn her head due to the tightly wound scarf and had to turn her whole upper body. 'You what?'

The Doctor scratched his chin thoughtfully and looked back to the way she had come. 'Wonder what she's got herself in a flap about? It's not like her to run away from things. She normally just whacks it over the head. And I should know.'

Ashley turned around, still with her upper body turning in the direction she wanted to look. 'What did she say?'

'She said that it's coming.'

Ashley sucked the inside of her mouth. 'Well that doesn't sound too good, does it?'

A sudden bellow cut through the air, causing both the Doctor and Ashley to stiffen. It sounded quite far away. It also reminded Ashley of the T-Rex from Jurassic Park, just without the impact tremors. It sounded again, louder.

'That doesn't sound too good either.' Ashley commented.

'No… it doesn't.' the Doctor agreed. He looked upwards. Ashley raised her eyebrows worriedly, and then followed his gaze.

The sky was clear for a moment, and then something raced above them, bellowing loudly. It must have been the length of a regular passenger plane from the 21st Century, only with a long, serpent like neck added on the front and an equally long tail trailing behind. Its four legs were tucked up to its scaly belly, and its wide thick wings beat the air hard. Ashley felt the breeze on her face and blinked. With one last bellow, it passed above them and grew smaller in the sky. The Doctor and Ashley watched it in silence.

Ashley pointed after a moment, leaning back to look after the creature. 'That… That was a dragon.' She said.

The Doctor nodded. 'Yup.'

They stood in silence, watching it disappear over the horizon. Finally, Ashley nodded in appreciation.

'Now that's cool.'

The Doctor glanced at her, and then smiled. 'Well, Ashley Chambers,' he beamed. 'How do you feel about a spot of dragon hunting?'

'Oh yeah, hang on. I'll just get my sword.' Ashley rolled her eyes sarcastically and chuckled, but then she realised the Doctor wasn't joking. Her amused smile abruptly vanished.

'Well come on!' the Doctor told her, already heading away with his hands buried in his pockets. 'We've got to catch up you know!'

Ashley remained where she was. 'No way!' she cried after him. 'You've got to be kidding!'

The Doctor carried on without turning back.

'It'll eat us!' she cried, but he wasn't paying attention. She felt another chill, shivered, and then jogged after him.


	3. Neigh Bother

**A/N: I'm having too much fun writing this story xD Thanks again ScreamsOnScreen for letting me use this idea you awesome armadillo you :D And thanks everyone for your reviews :D**

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**Chapter Three **

**Neigh Bother**

The Doctor strode along the narrow dirt track that had led out of the town and into the forest. He was smiling, looking as though he was off to pursue a cute fluffy bunny than a giant screaming dragon. Ashley walked alongside him, not fairing well in the chilly weather and begrudging the fact that she had actually followed him. She tucked her mitten-clad hands under her armpits and shuddered.

'I could have stayed in the TARDIS you know,' she grumbled. 'With a nice hot cup of tea.'

'You can go back if you like,' the Doctor replied cheerfully. 'I think I'll be able to find it on my own. I mean, how hard can it be to find a giant dragon?'

Ashley frowned at him, unable to stop her jaw chattering a little. 'It's a frigging _dragon_, Doctor.' She reminded him. 'Huge, giant, big-toothed, fire breathing _dragon_. It'll eat us. Or smoosh us.'

The Doctor chuckled. 'Smoosh. I like that.'

'What the hell are we going to do when we find it anyway? I don't mean to disappoint but I happened to leave my portable knight back in the TARDIS.' She stumbled over a thick twig and the Doctor caught her before she lost balance. 'And I don't like hiking through forests.' She added grumpily.

'Oh moan, moan, moan,' The Doctor sighed impatiently. 'That's all you do! I bring you to a fantasy fairytale land and you just keep on moaning. Can't you just for _once_ take a five-minute moaning time out? We just saw a _dragon_! Aren't you the least bit curious to why it's flying around over the town?'

Ashley pouted. 'I suppose…'

'Well wind your neck in please.' The Doctor told her as he began walking again. 'Or I might just see about getting one of those self locking towers to stick you in.'

Ashley jogged to catch up with him. 'I just don't agree with cold weather.' She told him. 'It gets in my head and makes me grouchy. It's like… that winter blues thing. Sorry, but I can't really control it.'

'It's all right then I suppose.' The Doctor sighed. 'You're only human.'

'Don't start that again.'

He shot her a cheeky grin and she had to smile back. He took her hand and to her surprise she felt the warmth of his hand through her mitten. All he had on was that trench coat and he was warmer than her.

'How are you so warm?' she demanded. 'I'm the one with the fire conjuring capabilities! I should be the warm one.'

The Doctor shrugged. 'That would probably be the reason you're feeling the cold more to be honest.' He told her. 'Your body is used to warmer environments, so chuck you in a chilly one and you freeze up quicker than Frosty the snowman.'

Ashley frowned. 'That would be bloody right, wouldn't it?'

'Ah, ah!' the Doctor waved his finger at her. 'What did I say about moaning? You're on a moaning time out, remember?'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Okay, _dad_.'

'And don't call me dad,' he winced. 'That's the third time you've done that and it's just weird.'

Ashley sniggered and was about to proceed in teasing him, when the sound of footsteps prevented her. The two of them stopped and listened. It was more than one person walking. Probably two.

'Wonder who would be out here?' the Doctor mused.

'Probably the big bad wolf.' Ashley cocked a lazy eyebrow.

The Doctor shot her a warning look. 'I wouldn't joke about him.'

She looked at him curiously, and it was then the owner of the footsteps emerged from the forest. The Doctor and Ashley were surprised to discover that it was a horse. A handsome white horse with light grey spots down its back and a stunning white mane. It stopped in the middle of the path and looked at them. It was geared up with riding gear – a saddle and reins – but there was no rider. The two travellers stared at the creature and the creature stared back.

'What the heck are you two staring at?' the horse demanded angrily. 'Do I have a feedbag stuck on my face or something?'

The Doctor and Ashley's eyebrows shot up and their mouths dropped open. The horse trotted around in a little circle, watching them in annoyance. It was peculiar to see such an emotion on a horses face – well, it would be strange to see _any_ emotion on a horses face – but this one definitely looked annoyed.

'Are you both thick or something?' It whinnied, shaking its mane.

The Doctor managed to pull himself out of his daze, but Ashley just stared with bulging eyes. 'Hello,' the Doctor beamed, waving one hand. 'I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend Ashley. Sorry about the staring, we're just-'

'Tourists.' The horse finished in despair. 'I should have known. No one around here dresses like _that_.' It gestured towards Ashley and whinnied again. She only blinked at it. 'Well I hate to disappoint,' the horse went on. 'But tourist season has been cancelled this year. Seeing as you're both so good at staring, you probably already noticed that.'

'Well yes, we did actually.' The Doctor nodded, slightly bewildered by the horse's rudeness. 'We also nodding that great whopping dragon in the sky. We were wondering if you know if it's got anything to do with everyone going missing?'

The horse glanced away uninterestedly. 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Great big dragon.' The Doctor said, despite the fact he already knew the horse was lying. 'Scaly. Long tail. Big wings. Roars pretty loudly. Flew overhead about ten minutes ago…'

'Alright, alright,' the horse grumbled. 'Yeah I saw it. Of course I saw it. You'd have to be an idiot to miss that stupid thing.'

'Does it have something to do with your missing rider too?' the Doctor enquired.

Ashley managed to shake the mind-numbing shock of seeing a talking horse and briefly looked to the Doctor. 'It's a talking horse.' She whispered.

He looked at her blankly, and then just ignored her completely. 'I'm sorry about her.' He said to the horse.

'No worries.' The horse replied. 'I'm used to ignorant tourists.'

Ashley shot it an offended look but it ignored her and sat down.

'Well…' it sighed heavily. 'Yes and no.'

'Mostly yes?' the Doctor asked.

The horse cocked its head in a shrugging fashion. 'Yeah. My rider is Prince Karl.'

'Prince Karl?' Ashley snorted. 'That's not much of a Prince-y name, is it?'

'Sshh,' the Doctor told her with a slight frown.

The horse sighed heavily. 'We were recruited to go up to the castle. We got there and he was doing his big old gallant, _I'm going to save the day_ speech, which by the way was written by me but he never gives me _any_ credit for it… Anyway, we got there and he was ready to fight through the thorns and then all of a sudden this great big stinking dragon comes out of nowhere. Now I've been on plenty of dangerous quests in my time, but I draw the line at dragons. They're big and smelly and they _stink_. And they're rude.'

'You left him behind,' the Doctor nodded. 'When the dragon came.'

'Of course I did!' the horse snorted, standing up and trotting backwards and forwards. 'The man has a death wish, I swear! He didn't even care when I ran off. He was shouting for the dragon to '_come and have a go_'. Safe to say it wasn't long before I heard him screaming.'

'You just left him to die?' Ashley asked with a frown. 'Well that's noble.'

'Oh it all comes down to nobility, doesn't it?' the horse grumbled. 'Well I'm sorry if I don't want to get _killed_. Prince Karl was a thicko anyway. Don't know why he thought he could beat that thing. Seriously his ego is so big that when it steps in the scales it says 'to be continued'.'

Ashley belted out laughter, but the Doctor and the horse only looked at her in confusion. She covered her mouth and sniggered into her mitten, trying to regain a serious expression.

'You said you went to a castle.' The Doctor said. 'Which castle?'

The horse rolled its eyes. 'How would I know? I didn't know anything about the quest. I'm just the stupid steed. Meant to look pretty and make _him_ look better. I have to admit I did that job very well, but I'm not as thick as some as the other hero-horses. I'm not going to blindly run to my death at the promise of a juicy carrot or a couple of sugar cubes.'

The Doctor frowned slightly. 'You have no idea which castle then?'

The horse shook its head. 'Dunno what its called, or who lives there. Wasn't really paying attention to be honest. Don't see why I should. Never get any credit.'

'Well could you take us to it?' the Doctor asked.

'No way!' the horse brayed loudly. 'You think I'm going back there? Not flamin' likely.' It turned and began to trot away. 'And I'm not a flamin' tour guide either.'

'Wait!' the Doctor called. 'We just want to-'

'You just want to get your heads examined.' The horse told him. 'Bloody tourists. You're all as thick as pig muck.'

The Doctor and Ashley watched the horse trot away, grumbling bitterly. Then they looked at each other.

'So much for asking for directions.' Ashley shrugged.

The Doctor sucked his teeth thoughtfully. 'Well… I guess we could just head in the direction he came.'

Without waiting for agreement from Ashley, the Doctor headed into the forest where the horse had originally emerged. Ashley frowned deeply.

'But Doctor!' she started.

'Moaning time out!' the Doctor called back with a flick of the wrist. 'You're still on a time out!'

Ashley sighed heavily and then ran after him, becoming more and more convinced that she should have remained in the TARDIS.


	4. Cold Fingers

**A/N: Well this story is certainly turning out popular :D Thanks to everyone reviewing, and again to ScreamsOnScreen, who is as cool as this chapter :P**

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**Chapter Four **

**Cold Fingers**

The forest was darker than either of them had anticipated. The trees were close together and their branches intertwined above to form a kind of natural thatched roof, which only allowed a few beams of light to scatter on the forest floor. Even with the roof though, it was still cold. Ashley was quite certain that if they had a little more light then she would be able to see her breath.

'We're not exactly going to be able to see the dragon, are we?' she pointed out. 'I can't even see the sky.'

'There's a clearing up ahead,' the Doctor replied confidently. 'Well there should be. If we're in the right forest.'

Ashley looked at him. 'You have no idea where we are, do you?'

The Doctor thought for a moment. 'Well… no. Not really.'

Usually, this would have sparked off a moan from Ashley, but she gritted her teeth against the insults and crossed her arms, choosing to remain silent. The Doctor looked at her in bewilderment for a moment, and then grinned.

'Time out works!' he beamed. 'Oh now I'm going to have to remember that. We're going to have ten minutes a day, okay? It's not that long just…' He trailed off as Ashley turned and began walking away through the foliage. He frowned. 'Hey! Where are you going?'

She didn't respond and just continued. Sensing that this was more than a childish storm-off, the Doctor followed her curiously. He found her through a sparse bush, standing in a clearing and looking down at the ground. He joined her side and looked at what she had discovered.

'You sure it's not winter?' she asked with an arched eyebrow. 'Because someone sure got chilly.'

The Doctor hunkered down so he was closer to the peculiar ice sculpture that was protruding out of the round. It was a hand. It was only visible from the wrist, but it was reaching out with fingers curled inwards, as if it had been trying to grab something. He tapped it.

'Solid ice the whole way through.' He reported. Then he leaned closer and licked the tip of the index finger, and then sat back while pondering over the taste.

'Remind me _never_ to give you mouth to mouth if you need it.' Ashley grimaced.

The Doctor ignored her, smacking his lips. 'Female.' He said. 'She was in tact when this happened…' He rose again, looking down at the icy hand thoughtfully.

'So that's actually someone's _hand_?' Ashley asked in shock. 'I know it's cold but it's nowhere near cold enough to _freeze_ someone. And where's the rest of her?'

'Good question.' The Doctor nodded, glancing around.

While he was studying their surroundings, Ashley knelt down to get a closer look at the hand. She went to touch it, then changed her mind and snapped her hand back. She couldn't help but imagine it turning and grabbing her. She wondered if the Doctor had been worried that it would turn and grab his tongue. Finally mustering up some courage, she swept away some of the twigs and leaves from around the wrist, trying to uncover more of the arm. Instead of more arm however, the hand just toppled over towards her and she let out a shriek. She fell backwards and landed hard on her behind. She glanced up to see the Doctor smirking.

'I thought it was grabbing me.' She admitted.

She thought he was going to help her up, but instead he reached past her and picked up the hand, tossing it from hand to hand. Ashley frowned a little and pulled herself up, brushing the twigs and dead leaves from her jeans.

'Snapped clean off.' He told her, showing her the stump. 'I think whoever this hand belonged to was frozen in about… five seconds? Maybe four… Fast-freeze. Never ends well. Things always break.'

'And the question still remains,' Ashley shrugged. 'Where's the rest of her?'

'I think the more pressing question is what did this?' the Doctor replied. 'And is it still around?'

Ashley looked around warily. A breeze ran through the bushes, making her edge a little closer to the Doctor. She turned her head to him to see the curling ice fingers inches away from her nose. She yelped and moved back.

'You're so easy to scare.' The Doctor chuckled.

'It's a severed hand, Doctor.' Ashley frowned. 'Don't play with it.'

The Doctor's smile faded. 'Yes, of course. Sorry.' He looked away guiltily.

'We need to concentrate on the matter at hand.' Ashley said seriously. The Doctor grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. 'It's not funny.'

'You're right.' He agreed, returning to serious mode. 'I think I have an idea what did this.'

Ashley looked at him with bright eyes. 'What?'

'Isn't it obvious?'

'Well… I haven't seen Jack Frost roaming around if that's what you mean.'

The Doctor threw his hands up, along with the icy hand which he put on the side of his head as if it was an extension of his body. 'The dragon!'

Ashley blinked at him. 'Dragons breathe fire.'

'It must be an ice dragon,' he explained, his eyes losing focus as his theory fell into place. 'It would explain the drop in temperature. This is supposed to be the warmest time of year, but it feels like the coldest.'

Ashley rubbed her hands together. 'You're telling me.'

'There's an ice dragon on the lose, and it's freezing everyone.' The Doctor told her. 'You wouldn't think it, but they're a lot more dangerous than fire breathing dragons.'

'Oh yeah right, because fire doesn't hurt so much.'

The Doctor glanced away and Ashley instantly regretted what she said. She started to apologise, but he spoke over her.

'With a fire dragon you just have to hit it with a water canon or something.' He told her, tossing the ice hand around again like it was a cocktail shaker. '_Ice_ dragons; oh now they're a dilly. Some of them can even freeze _fire_.'

'But that's not even possible.'

'Oh it is,' the Doctor smiled slightly. 'Looks lovely too. Went to an ice elementals party once and they had one of those huge ice centrepieces. Frozen fire. Beautiful it is. I'll have to show you it sometime.'

'I'll probably get a chance while we're here.' Ashley pushed her hands in her pockets and sighed. 'So what now? Do we play CSI and look for all the bits and fit her together again like a big jigsaw?'

'Well that won't do any good, will it?' the Doctor replied. 'I think we should go and find that horse again. See if we can talk it into taking us to the castle.'

'That horse was rude,' Ashley told him. 'I doubt it'll take us anywhere. Probably just calls us thick some more.'

The Doctor pointed the frozen hand at her. 'Ah, well you see if we don't find that dragon and stop it then everyone on this planet will end up like this.' He waved the hand around. 'Probably including us. I doubt that horse can fly a ship to get away, do you?'

'I don't know. There probably is a spaceship for horses seeing as they can talk now.'

The Doctor pushed the hand in his pocket so its fingers were poking out the top. Ashley looked at it with a scrunched up nose, but didn't comment. 'We'll get back on the track,' the Doctor told her. 'I can remember there being some stables near the village. He might have gone there.'

'Good a place as any to start looking, right?' Ashley replied, following.

'Yup.'

'You sure he won't like… trample us or something?'

The Doctor shook his head. 'Nah. He's armless.' He turned and grinned, pulling the hand out. 'Gettit? Armless. You're hand's attached to your…' He trailed off on her disapproving glare and pushed the hand back in his pocket. He looked away and nodded forward. 'This way.' He told her, and pulled ahead.


	5. Reluctant Assistance

**A/N: This chapter is a little longer... not by much though. I've seen longer lol xD**

* * *

**Chapter Five **

**Reluctant Assistance**

It took a little longer to get back to the town because the Doctor had taken them the wrong way up the track and hadn't realised for about ten minutes. So they had backtracked and finally returned, to find it emptier and colder than ever. Now even the Doctor was starting to look uncomfortable in the weather. The end of his nose was starting to turn a little pink. Ashley watched him as he looked around with a troubled frown.

'Do you want to borrow my hat?' she asked.

He looked at her, and then glanced at her hat. 'Pink and purple aren't really my colour.' He told her. He screwed up his nose. 'And it has a bobble on it. I don't do bobbles.'

Ashley rolled her eyes at him. 'Well at least borrow my scarf.' She told him. 'You're going to freeze to death.'

'I'm not even cold.'

'You're shivering.'

The Doctor tried to straighten himself up, but he was still visibly shaking. Ashley unwound the scarf from her neck, shuddering at the chill that ran down her spine and hooked it around his neck.

'Oh, Ashley,' he whined, trying to pull it off again. 'Really, I'm fine. I have my own scarves in the TARDIS! If I wanted one I'd go and get my really long one…'

'Oh shut up.' Ashley told him, wrapping the scarf around his neck.

He sighed and let her, eyebrows drawn together. She straightened it around his neck and then flattened down the front. She cocked her head, and then began to tuck it down the front of his suit.

'Alright, alright,' he told her, batting her hands away. 'I'm wearing it! You don't need to wrap me up, _mum_.'

'If I were your mum I'd have clipped you round the head by now.' Ashley replied with a smirk. 'You'll be thanking me when you're not dying of pneumonia.'

The Doctor frowned, readjusting the scarf and trying to restore his briefly diminished dignity. 'Right then,' he sighed. 'The stables are just over there I think. If he's there then we'll get him on our side and then get off to that castle, right?'

Ashley gave him a quick salute. 'Yes sir.'

They both headed up the deserted road, passing the stationary TARDIS. There was a row of stables just around the corner, near to where the Doctor had said they would be. And sure enough, the door was slightly ajar and the sound of snorting and shuffling could be heard from within.

'Hello?' the Doctor called, approaching cautiously. 'It's us again. The thicko tourists from the track.'

There was a snort, and a whinny. Then a groan.

'Oh for God's sake,' a voice called out to them. 'What the hell do you want? If you're after someone to take a photo I haven't got any thumbs, 'kay?'

The horse appeared in the open doorway, expression exasperated. He rolled his shiny hazel eyes and snorted again. It looked at the Doctor for a moment.

'Do you have any idea how much of a moose you look in that scarf?' the horse pointed out.

The Doctor frowned. 'We need your help.' He said. 'There's an ice dragon on the loose.'

'Oh well aren't you the master of deduction?' the horse snorted. 'Now bugger off the pair of you. I'm trying to get some sleep.'

'Mr Horse,' Ashley said, stepping forward. 'You are aware that if you stay in there you're going to end up turning into one big horse shaped lump of ice.'

The horse looked at her in bemusement. 'Mr Horse?'

'Well what's your name then?' she sighed.

The horse looked away for a moment, pondering whether or not to remain here talking with these insufferable humans or to head back inside and go back to sleeping. Eventually, he sighed. 'Arnold.' He replied. 'But you can call me Arnie. And yes I am aware of that, Miss State-the-Obvious.'

'Look, we're not asking you to do anything too strenuous,' the Doctor said seriously. 'All we want is for you to take us to the castle. You don't even have to take us the whole way, just as long as we know where it is. We need to get to the bottom of what's going on here before everyone on this planet turns to ice.'

Arnie snorted, shaking his head. 'But I just sat down!'

The Doctor and Ashley looked at him impatiently. Arnie sighed heavily and trotted around in a small circle.

'You know what it is?' he grumbled. 'I never get a minutes peace. I thought that I'd get at least a ten minute nap with that berk out of the way.' He jerked his head back, obviously referring to his allegedly dead owner. 'Is it too much to ask, really? All I do all day is run around with him on my back, and let's be honest here – he wasn't exactly in the best shape, if you get what I mean.' He didn't wait to see if the Doctor or Ashley knew what he meant, which of course they did. 'That guy was so fat the only thing attracted to him was gravity.'

'Okay, so are you going to help us?' the Doctor asked. He was wondering if it was such a good idea to ask the horse for help. It seemed to moan more than Ashley did.

Arnie sighed, his lips flapping. 'Well I suppose I have too.' He replied angrily. 'Because you two aren't going to leave me alone are you?'

The Doctor smiled and shook his head. 'No. Probably not.'

'I don't see what the big deal is,' Ashley added with a faint frown. 'I mean, all you're doing is taking us there. We're not asking you to come in or anything. Probably won't take you five minutes.'

'I just said yes didn't I?' Arnie brayed loudly, making her recoil. He glared at the two of them for a moment, and then trotted by them. 'I'm not slowing down for either of you though. If you can't keep up then it's your own stupid faults.'

The Doctor and Ashley stood for a moment, watching the horse trotting away whilst muttering bitterly to himself. They glanced to each other with similar expressions that said 'are you sure this is a good idea?'

'It's the only choice we have at the minute.' The Doctor told her with a shrug, without the question needing to be asked. 'At least we're a step closer to finding out what's going on.'

'Or a step closer to having bleeding ears from that whining thing.' Ashley replied. She looked forward to see the horse disappearing around the corner. She took the Doctor's arm and pulled him forward. 'Come on then, before we lose him.' They followed quickly, half walking and half running and finally turned the corner. As soon as they did turn it however, they came to an abrupt halt.

Arnie was a few metres ahead of them, completely rigid in fear, staring bug eyed at the creature that blocked the main street. The Doctor and Ashley took up a similar reaction, staring in disbelief at the huge dragon that stared back at them.

It was impossibly huge, with a triangular snake like head and icy blue almond shaped eyes. Its scales were a silvery blue that shined in the sunlight. Its wings were a darker colour, with more of a grey tone and were pointing straight upwards as they couldn't fit between the shops. Its mouth opened briefly, revealing long pointed teeth that looked like icicles and releasing extremely cold air. It inspected the four tiny newcomers with its huge eyes, a low growl sounding in its long throat.

Ashley found her voice and tugged on the Doctor's arm. 'Doctor…' she whispered.

'I know, I'm thinking…' the Doctor replied. He glanced around, knowing that they had no chance of outrunning this thing. The only genuinely safe place was the TARDIS, and it was behind the dragon. Running towards the creature would just be asking for trouble. Ahead, Arnie was slowly backing away, muttering faintly. The dragon seemed irritated by the horse's movements and the growl grew louder.

'Right,' the Doctor whispered to Ashley. 'When I say the word, you belt Arnie on the rump and the two of you run back to the stables, okay?'

She frowned, but couldn't take her eyes off the dragon. 'What are you going to do?'

'I'll bring the TARDIS to you,' the Doctor replied. 'Now don't complain or moan, okay? Just do as I say. For once.'

Ashley wanted to argue, but she was too frightened. She only nodded slightly. The dragon now had all of its attention focused on the retreating horse. It was obvious that it was going to freeze him at any giving moment. Before it had the chance to though, the Doctor strode forward.

'Hi there!' he beamed, waving at the giant creature.

Ashley's face contorted in horror and confusion. 'What the hell are you doing?' she whispered harshly.

The Doctor shot her an impatient look and shook his head. Arnie, seeing that he was no longer the dragon's main priority, turned and galloped off back towards the stables – not needing to be encouraged. The Doctor turned back to the dragon, that was now staring at him.

'Right,' the Doctor beamed. 'I take it you're the one behind the sudden drop in temperature, eh? Must have been horrible when you first got here right? Hot and sticky. I know ice dragons don't care for the summer much. Which is obvious really, isn't it? Bet you'd much rather be sitting in a nice big igloo with some iced tea. Maybe not the iced tea – I've never understood it to be honest. Tea is supposed to be hot, not cold- but that's a different story right?' The dragon continued to stare at him. 'Right, course it is.' He went on. 'Now, I'd just like to ask you why you feel the need to go around freezing everything? I mean usually you lot just sit around and sleep. The freezing thing is usually just a defensive thing, right? But you were going to freeze old Arnie there and he hadn't done anything to you.'

The dragon breathed sharply out of its nostrils, causing an icy breeze to whip around the Doctor and Ashley. They both braced themselves against the sudden chill. When they gasped, little clouds escaped their mouths.

'Yes, I know,' the Doctor laughed through chattering teeth. 'You are cold aren't you? Now we can do this one of two ways. You can either leave now without any bother and let this place thaw out, or we can do it the hard way and I'll make you leave.'

The dragon cocked its head. Ashley watched apprehensively. The creature pulled its head back and took in a deep breath. The Doctor's eyebrows shot up and he began to back up towards Ashley.

'Okay,' he muttered to her. 'That didn't exactly work. Get ready to run.'

'Doctor you can't make it to the TARDIS-'

'On three.'

'Doctor, no!'

'One…'

'You're going to get killed!'

'Two…'

The dragon heaved and lowered its head.

'Three!' the Doctor shoved Ashley to the right and then sprinted off to the left. Ashley stumbled back around the corner just as the dragon breathed out an icy cloud. She felt the unbelievable coldness on her back and she looked down to see the ground actually freezing beneath her feet. She pushed herself to outrun it when she finally did she heard the dragon bellowing behind her. It was so loud she had to clamp her hands over her ears. She looked around for the Doctor, but there was no sign of him.

'Oh god…' she muttered. If he had reached the TARDIS she would have been able to hear it starting up. All she could hear was the growling dragon. She turned and ran back, skidding a couple of times on the ice. She slid around the corner, slamming her shoulder into a lamppost to avoid falling completely. She looked around and finally saw the Doctor. Dread overcame her quickly.

The Doctor was only yards from the TARDIS; arm outstretched and leg up behind him in a running pose - only he was perfectly still. Ashley could see the sun glistening on the top of his head. He was nothing more than one of those ice sculpture centrepieces that he had been telling her about earlier. And beyond him the TARDIS was one big blue block of ice.

'_Doct-'_ Ashley began to yell out his name, but she suddenly felt herself being tugged backwards. She looked around in alarm to see Arnie with the back of her jacket in his mouth, pulling her back. She struggled with him, but he had a firm grip. He managed to pull her back around the corner.

'Sshh you moron!' he hissed. 'Or it'll come and do the same to you!'

'The Doctor!' Ashley cried, panicked. 'I have to help him!'

She tried to run back, but Arnie grabbed her again. He hauled her back and frowned deeply at her. 'You run out there and it'll do the same thing to you.' He told her sternly. 'You want to help him? Then keep your bloody stupid head down.'

Ashley stared at the horse for a moment, and then blinked. She turned and ran back to the corner. Arnie sighed and shook his head, but then noticed that she hadn't gone back around the corner. He trotted after her, being careful on the ice, and the two of them peered around the corner.

The dragon was now up on its back legs, beating its wings. Ashley was horrified to see that it had the frozen Doctor in one of its front claws. She started forward again.

'Seriously, there's nothing you can do at the minute.' Arnie whispered. 'Apart from get yourself killed.'

She gritted her teeth, knowing he was right. So she stood and watched as the dragon took off into the sky, taking the Doctor with it.


	6. Stranded

**A/N: This is going to be Doctor-free for the next couple of chapters, just so you all know lol. But I think Arnie is a good replacement. That would be good actually, if the Doctor regenerated into a horse... or a beaver. LOL a little beaver with spiky hair and glasses and a little brown trench coat. Now that would be frigging awesome xD**

* * *

**Chapter Six **

**Stranded**

Ashley stood in the middle of the street, the cobbles now gleaming ice beneath her feet. She had her hands clamped under her chin, staring up at the sky where the dragon had finally disappeared from sight. She always whined telling the Doctor to be careful, or not to do this or that in case he was hurt, but now she realised that she had never _expected_ him to get hurt. The thought of something bad happening to him just seemed so unlikely – like it was the last thing that would happen... which in a way she supposed it _would_ be. She hadn't prepared herself for what she would do if something _did_ happen to him. It had never occurred to her. Actually the only time it _had_ occurred to her was when she had first started travelling with him and she was worried about being stranded on a distant planet, but then that just got forgotten about…

She never expected it to actually _happen_.

She was stuck on a planet with no way of getting back home.

Ashley felt the panic rising up her spine like a chill. She shuddered and then closed her eyes tightly, willing herself to stay calm. But it was hard. It was _very _hard.

'Oh crap!' she cried, putting her hands on her head. 'Oh _crap_!'

Arnie the horse trotted up beside her, warily watching his hooves on the ice. 'Well… He should be happy to have such an exciting way to go,' he said, looking up at the sky. 'Some people just end up getting hit by a speeding carriage, or eat a poisoned apple by mistake.'

Ashley turned to him with wide eyes. She opened her mouth as if she was going to speak, but didn't. Arnie watched her as she whirled around and ran towards the TARDIS, slipping and sliding all over the ice.

'Careful!' he called to her. 'Last thing you need is to fall over and snap your leg! Well… at least you won't get turned into glue or something…'

Ashley skidded right into the TARDIS, slamming into it. She grunted, and then ran her hands over the icy exterior and pushed hard on the door. It wouldn't budge. It probably wouldn't have budged even if it hadn't been frozen as it was still locked, but she was too panicked to think of that at first. After a moment of fruitless pounding, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the TARDIS key.

'Look, lady,' Arnie sighed, watching her as she impatiently pulled off her mittens with her teeth to get a better grip on the key. 'He's gone, right? You saw him – he was completely frozen solid. You might as well just pick up those bricks you crapped and jump on the next ship home before that thing comes back and does the same to you. At least you _can_ get away from here. I would have to wait three weeks for clearance because apparently horses are never in a hurry to get anywhere.'

Ashley tried to force the key in the lock but it was completely iced over. Little shards of ice broke off, but she was no closer to getting the key in. She cursed, panic taking over.

Arnie cocked an eyebrow. 'Well can we at least get off the street? Your more obvious than an elephant hiding behind a toothpick with that hair of yours. If you're going to have a panic attack or something I'd rather be where it's warm and dragon-free…'

Ashley whirled around, hands up on either side of her head. Her cheeks were flushed with colour and her eyes were huge. '_Shut up_!' she cried. 'For God's sake shut the hell up before I turn you into Pedigree Chum!'

Arnie stared at her incredulously for a moment, and then moved his head back with a grimace. 'Well I don't think I've ever been spoken to like that before in my _life_.' He breathed.

Ashley stared at him for a moment longer, and then turned back to the TARDIS, struggling with the lock. Arnie snorted in disgust and shook his mane.

'Well I'm not staying where I'm not wanted.' He huffed, turning away. 'Stay here and get frozen, see what I care. Bloody ungrateful that is. I agree to help you and all I get is abuse…'

Ashley let out a cry of frustration and threw the key down on the ground. It bounced about a meter away and just lay there. Ashley banged her head twice against the doors of the TARDIS, before turning and sliding down into a sitting position, where she buried her face in her hands. Arnie stopped and watched her for a moment, and then sighed.

'If you want I can take you to the port.' He replied. 'It'll probably be packed out but I'm sure you can get on a flight at some point today-'

'You don't get it!' Ashley cried, looking up at him with teary eyes. 'I'm not _from_ here! I can't just jump on a space ship that'll take me home! This thing-' She banged her hand on the TARDIS, causing small shards of ice to sprinkle over her. 'This is the only thing that can take me home, and even if I do get inside of it, I can't fly it! Don't you understand? Without the Doctor I'm _stranded_!'

Arnie looked at her for a moment, and then looked at the TARDIS. Then he looked back at he and lowered his head slightly. 'I hate to break it to you… but that's a box. I suppose you could stick some cardboard wings on the sides and paint on some racing stripes...'

Ashley glared at him. Then tears began to roll down her cheeks. 'And he's _gone_! The Doctor is _gone_…. He's probably dead! No one could survive being frozen like that.' She blinked as if what had happened had only just settled in. 'Oh my god… he's dead.' She covered her mouth with both hands. 'The Doctor's _dead_!'

Arnie didn't understand why she looked so horrified. Of course if a loved one is killed you're going to be upset, but this girl looked genuinely devastated, and not just for herself. He trotted a little closer and offered her a smile. 'It'll be okay,' he told her. 'You'll get back home eventually and you'll be upset for a while but one day you'll-'

'You don't know the Doctor,' Ashley replied, tears now coursing down her cheeks. 'He's… He's the best person in the universe, and I know that first hand! He's just… he's brave and clever and _fun_ and…' She wiped her face impatiently. 'And he would do anything for anyone. He saved my life! And I don't mean by stopping that Crowe guy from stealing by brain or when I got trapped in the hall of mirrors or anything like that…'

Arnie looked at her in bewilderment, not for the first time wondering if she was a bit crazy. He said nothing and listened as she continued.

'He showed me things I would never ever see,' she went on, more to herself than to Arnie. 'I used to work in a bar… I used to go to the bar and then go home and drink wine and then get up and go to the shop and buy more wine and then go out and drink _more_ wine and watch crap TV and… And I can't imagine myself doing that anymore. It seems like it was all just a dream. My life before meeting the Doctor was just one long waiting period – like I was actually _waiting_ for him to arrive. And then he did and…' She stopped herself and wiped her nose. 'And now he's _gone_. Just like that. Taken away by a bloody… a bloody _dragon_ of all things.' She sighed and buried her face in her hands. 'Oh god I miss him already…'

Arnie looked at her for a moment, and then glanced up and down the street. He sighed, regretting what he was about to tell her. 'Well… you know… he _might_ be still alive.'

Ashley looked up at him sharply. 'What? How?'

Arnie blinked. 'Well I'm just _saying_. I've seen that dragon freeze other people and, well… it just left them behind. It actually made the effort to carry him off somewhere, so either its just going to thaw him out and chuck him in the microwave for later or it… I don't know… wants him for something.'

Ashley stared at the horse for a long moment. Arnie became slightly restless under her gaze and shuffled from hoof to hoof.

'It's just a thought, you know…' he muttered.

'He's still alive.' Ashley said suddenly. 'Of course he is. He's the Doctor. He's not going to get killed by a dragon. That's just stupid.' She got to her feet quickly, making Arnie move back a couple of steps in alarm. 'He's probably somewhere right now, trapped and needing my help.' Her eyes were wide. 'I need to find him. Right now.'

Arnie winced. 'Well… how're you going to do that?'

Ashley thought for a moment. An idea struck her and she turned back to the TARDIS. 'It's _ice_…' she said in wonderment.

Arnie backed away another two steps, becoming increasingly wary of her and deciding that she was mental. 'Well aren't you the master of observation?'

Ashley placed her palms on the TARDIS and closed her eyes. Arnie watched, planning on just turning and running away while she wasn't watching him, but then something happened that made her stay. He didn't notice for a moment, but then he noticed the pool of water forming at her feet. He trotted towards her, still keeping a wide berth, and peered around to see her face. Her eyes were closed and she was frowning. He looked at her hands and frowned as he saw that the ice around them was melting – quite rapidly. He took another couple of steps back and watched as eventually all the ice on the TARDIS melted away, until only the back of it and the top was still icy. Finally, Ashley snapped her hands back and opened her eyes. Then she grinned.

'Oh if he'd seen me do that…' She trailed off and looked around frantically. 'The key! Where did the key go?'

Arnie looked down and lifted his hoof, seeing the key below it. She saw it immediately and swooped down to grab it, before quickly using it to unlock the TARDIS.

'I don't see why you're so keen to get in there.' He told her worriedly. 'You said you couldn't fly it.'

'I need some things.' She told him. 'If we're going to be walking for a while then I'll need some supplies.'

'We?' Arnie replied.

Ashley disappeared inside without answering him. Arnie hesitated, and then tentatively approached the door. He peered in, and then entered. His jaw dropped at the sight ahead of him. His hooves clunked on the metal grating. He stopped half in and half out, and stared. Ashley ran across the floor of the control room and through another door. After the initial shock passed, Arnie nodded appreciatively.

'I could do with a stable like this.' He mumbled.

Ashley returned a moment later with a new scarf and a backpack. She snatched something up from beside the control panel and then herded Arnie back outside. She closed the door behind her, locked it, and then turned back to the dumbfounded horse.

'Okay,' she said, eyes wide with excitement. 'You lead.'

Arnie blinked at her. 'You what?'

'To the castle,' Ashley replied. 'You said you'd take us.'

'Yeah,' Arnie snorted. 'That was _before_ your boyfriend got carried off by a dragon. I'm not going anywhere near that bloody place. This is all too dodgy for me. I'm going to take my chances by dressing up as a person and trying to get on the next flight out, which is exactly what you should be doing.' He paused. 'Not the dressing up part obviously, you look fine. Well when I say _fine_…'

Ashley took a step forward. 'The Doctor will stop all of this.' She told him. 'We need to find him and get him out of wherever he's being held and then he'll get rid of that dragon, help everyone else and return Fanallasoratia back to normal.'

Arnie stared at her unblinkingly. Ashley frowned slightly.

'Did I just say that?' she winced. 'Christ I sound like I'm in a Disney movie.'

Arnie continued to look at her warily. She returned her sights on him and pointed a finger.

'I'm going to find him whether you help me or not,' she told him. 'But I can tell you know that we'll get everything done a lot quicker as a pair. You're a prince's horse. Now act like one.'

Arnie frowned slightly and opened his mouth to object, and then gave up. He sighed and drooped his head. 'Fine. Whatever. What's the bloody point in fighting it anymore?' He breathed out sharply through his nostrils and then nodded forward. 'Well this way. Hope you packed you hiking boots because you're not getting on my back.'

Ashley smiled. 'Thank you.'

Arnie grimaced as he trotted past her. 'Yeah yeah.' He grumbled.

Ashley looked back at the TARDIS once, pushed aside any doubts that rose about the Doctor's well being, and followed the horse.


	7. Enchanted Forest

**A/N: Wellll sorry about the long wait lol! I had a miniture writing crisis and I couldn't write anything :( But I think it's a bit better now... I'm blaming Life On Mars, because I sat and watched the whole two series over the past week and all I can think about are coppers and Gene Hunt. I love Gene Hunt... Anywhoo... back to talking horses :D**

* * *

**Chapter Seven **

**Enchanted Forest**

Arnie wasn't making life easy for Ashley. He trotted ahead, making use of the speed of his two extra legs to pass through the part of the forest he openly admitted that he didn't like and Ashley was finding it hard to keep up. She hurried after her guide, struggling with the bag on her back and being raked by merciless branches from the surrounding trees. She already had a thin cut on her cheek that was stinging irritably and now she had a hole in the sleeve of her jumper. Her mood wasn't getting any better.

'Can't you just go a little bit slower?' Ashley asked with a frown. 'This is ridiculous, really. You're just doing it to annoy me, aren't you?'

'Bloody humans,' Arnie muttered from ahead. 'Always think it's about you. Just because I'm going to fast for you then it must be that I'm doing it to deliberately wind you up, not because I happen to find this part of the forest slightly intimidating. You were so keen to find this Doctor friend of yours, maybe you should stop whining and keep up.'

'Oh yeah, that's rich coming from a horse that hasn't stopped complaining.' Ashley snapped in response. 'I don't think you have any right to be telling anyone to stop whining.'

Arnie glanced back to her with a scowl. 'I wouldn't be surprised if he has it all set up so that dragon would take him away so he could get away from you. I mean, for God's sake I can barely stand walking with you behind me, let alone travelling around with you _all the time_. Poor bloke is probably borderline suicidal.'

'Oh yeah? And I suppose you're the best companion in the world, eh? Leaving your rider behind to get killed.'

Arnie stopped and whirled around angrily. 'It's a little thing called self-preservation, missy. Just because my rider has some kind of death wish doesn't mean that I have to have one too. Pardon me if I value my life.'

'What, you value moaning and trotting around waving that big backside of yours in my face.' Ashley crossed her arms. 'Sounds riveting.'

Arnie kicked the ground and snorted. 'You want me to help you find that castle? Maybe you should work on your social skills. I've met twigs with better people skills than you. At the rate you're going you're going to be wandering around on your own soon.'

Ashley looked at the horse for a moment and then rolled her eyes. 'Right, fine. Whatever. But can you walk a little slower please?'

Arnie began walking again. 'See? All it takes is some manners. Didn't kill you did it?'

Ashley frowned and followed, batting a tree branch aside in annoyance. She let out a surprised cry when something hit her across the back of the head and she fell forward on her front. Arnie turned in surprise and looked down at her.

'Oh well done. We'll get there in no time if you keep falling down.'

Ashley pushed herself up and looked around in bewilderment. 'Something hit me!' she exclaimed.

'Probably someone who couldn't stand the sound of your bitching.' Arnie grumbled. 'Get up and come on. I hate this place.'

Ashley got up, rubbing the back of her head and looking around. 'Was it you?' she demanded, frowning at Arnie.

'Oh yeah, sorry,' Arnie rolled his eyes. 'I just threw a boomerang and it came back and hit you in the back of the head.'

Ashley looked around, searching for any signs of life in the surrounding foliage. Arnie snorted and shifted on his feet.

'Come _on_,' he insisted. 'I'm just going to leave you in a minute.'

Ashley ignored the horse and continued looking around. 'Hello?' she called. 'Is there someone there?'

'Shut up!' Arnie hissed. 'For God's sake!'

Ashley shot him an irritable look. 'Maybe it's someone who needs help.' Her eyes widened slightly. 'Maybe it's the Doctor!'

Arnie scowled. 'Yeah because he wasn't frozen solid last time you saw him. I bet he's just through that clearing throwing icicles at you.'

Ashley looked towards the gap in the foliage that Arnie had gestured to and headed towards it quickly. Arnie let out a loud snort and looked upwards.

'What did I do to deserve this, eh?' he asked the heavens. 'I was always a good horse.' He looked ahead again when he heard another loud 'Ow!' from Ashley. He hesitated, and then followed her tentatively, once again discovering her on the ground, rubbing her head. 'I told you didn't I?' he sighed.

Ashley got up angrily. 'Is it you?' she demanded, pointing a finger at him. 'Because this isn't funny.'

'Of course it's not me you mule,' Arnie snapped. 'One, I can't actually throw things because, in case you haven't noticed, I have no _hands_ and two, the first time it happened I was in front of you. Maybe you should stop blaming me for everything and-' Arnie stopped mid-sentence and completed it with a loud _neigh_. He rose on his back legs and then whirled around. 'Someone just slapped my hide!' he cried in alarm.

Ashley looked around. 'What the hell is going on?'

Arnie was looking around in bewilderment. 'I told you I didn't like this bit of the forest!'

Ashley was just about to respond when she turned around to see a tree branch flying at her. It hit her square in the forehead and she fell on her back. She lay there dazed for a moment before hearing a deep, creaky voice.

'Oh I didn't realise you were going to turn there! I'm very sorry.'

She sat up, rubbing her forehead. Arnie was looking everywhere at once, shifting on his hooves. Warily and watching for another swinging branch, Ashley got back to her feet.

'Who is that?' she demanded.

'I haven't had any company for a long time,' the voice explained, sounding apologetic. 'It gets boring when you've been rooted to the same spot for a hundred years or so. I have to make my own entertainment you see.'

Ashley looked to Arnie to see him looking up at a tree beside him. He was frowning now – looking annoyed more than afraid. 'I should have bloody known.' He grumbled. 'Nothing but trouble you lot are.'

'Now come on, I said I was sorry.' The creaking voice replied. 'What do you expect me to do? I've been on my own for ages. Of course I'm going to stir it up a bit.'

Ashley followed the horse's gaze and her jaw dropped at what she saw. There was a wide, twisting oak tree standing in front of them, easily the biggest tree around them. Its branches seemed to cover every direction, some even reaching the ground. In the middle of the trunk, about fifteen feet up, was a huge wrinkled face. Two shiny black eyes were looking down at them and a gaping black mouth, which resembled a knothole, twisted into a friendly smile.

'Can we all be friends?' the tree asked.

'Yeah, like I'm going to be seen dead talking to a tree.' Arnie frowned. 'Come on Ashley.' He began to head away, grumbling to himself.

Ashley stared up at the huge tree in disbelief. 'You were the one hitting us.'

The tree winced. 'Well… yes. I'm sorry about that but I couldn't really resist. I saw you both arguing and, well I don't really like arguing. I didn't want the first voices I overhear in months arguing with each other. So I thought I'd mix it up a bit.'

Ashley stared for a moment longer, and then anger swept over her. 'So you decided to bash us about with your branches? You could have put my eye out!'

The tree looked embarrassed. 'I'm very sorry.'

Ashley frowned at it for a moment longer, and then went to follow Arnie who was waiting for her. 'Next we'll find a talking brick.'

'Oh no don't go!' the tree cried. 'Please! I haven't had any company for absolutely _ages_! Just stay for five minutes. Please?'

Ashley turned and looked at the tree, which was pouting unhappily. Curiosity pushed aside her anger. It wasn't every day you came across a talking tree. The least you could do was to talk back a little. 'Okay.' She nodded. 'Five minutes.'

'Are you serious?' Arnie cried. 'You can't be serious!'

Ashley looked to the horse, and then to the tree. Then she chuckled. 'Well I can tell you both now I never expected to find myself in a forest talking to a horse and a tree without the aid of drugs.'

The tree looked proud. 'Oh I'm an Enchanted Tree. But you can both call me Barry.'

Ashley laughed. 'Barry? Barry the tree and Arnie the horse. Fantastic.'

Arnie snorted and moved away a little, obviously not wanting to be part of the conversation. Ashley perched on a tree stump opposite Barry and smiled up at it.

'I'm Ashley.' She told it, trying to ignore the surreal feeling.

'Nice to meet you, Ashley,' Barry smiled. One of his many branches lowered down to her with a creak. She hesitated, and then shook the branch and laughed. 'So may I enquire to where you are both off too?'

'We're off to see your mother.' Arnie muttered.

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Ignore him,' she told Barry. 'He's just a grumpy old mule.'

Arnie shot her an irritated glance and turned away, sitting down heavily with his back to them. Ashley pulled her knees up on the stump, actually glad for the rest. Perhaps this tree would know something about what was going on too. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

'We're looking for my friend. The Doctor,' Ashley explained. 'He uh… He got frozen and taken by a uh, dragon.'

Barry looked surprised. 'Oh yes I've heard about that dragon. Causing chaos, so the squirrels tell me. I hear the ports are positively packed.'

'Well we haven't been there.' Ashley shrugged.

'You should,' Barry told her. 'No use staying here. You might get hurt.'

'Well I can't really go home without the Doctor.'

Barry shook his branches, which Ashley assumed was the equivalent of a nod. 'Well I understand that. Loyalty is a good thing to have.'

Arnie snorted at that comment but said nothing.

'We think he might be at a castle. Arnie's taking me there. He went there himself with his rider to fight the dragon but…' She hesitated and decided not to tell the tree of the horse's cowardice. 'But it went a bit wrong and his rider was killed. He thinks.'

Barry glanced to Arnie sadly. 'I'm sorry.'

'Save your sympathy for your friends that got turned into toilet seats.' Arnie muttered.

'So,' Ashley went on, shooting an annoyed look at Arnie. 'We think maybe that the dragon took the Doctor there. If we find him he'll be able to get rid of the dragon. He's good like that.'

Barry smiled. 'Well good look with that.' He paused thoughtfully. 'Actually… I heard something from a little friend of mind a few days ago. She was saying something about the castle in the Dark Woods.'

'That would be the one.' Arnie sighed. 'Don't know why they call it the Dark Woods. There's hardly any trees left to make is dark.'

Ashley ignored Arnie. 'What did she say?'

'Well, she was flying over it and decided to drop in to see if there was anything to eat,' Barry went on. 'She's a little blue jay you see.'

'So a little birdie told you?' Ashley smirked.

Barry looked confused. 'Well yes.' He didn't understand her amusement so he carried on. 'Anyway she said that she went in through one of the windows and it was _freezing_, she said. Apparently there were ice sculptures everywhere. It frightened her so she left. Perhaps that's got something to do with your Doctor friend?'

Ashley frowned in thought. 'Sounds like it.' She nodded. She hopped down off the stump. 'Thank you Barry, but I really think we should be getting on. We need to find him soon.'

Barry smiled friendlily. 'I'm glad I could be of some help. Now be careful you two. There's a few bad apples in this forest.'

Ashley nodded and smiled again. 'It was nice to meet you.'

Barry smiled again and watched her head away. She slapped Arnie on the back and he stood up, frowning irritably.

'I can't believe you just sat and talked to a tree.' He muttered as they carried on through the forest.

'What's wrong with that?'

'He's a _tree_. They're all full of crap.'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Great. A racist horse.'

Arnie frowned at her. 'I'm not a racing horse.' He replied in bewilderment.

Ashley waved her hand at him. 'Oh just come on.'


	8. Doctor In Distress

**A/N: This is only a short chapter. I didn't want to have too much Doctor just yet - preserve the mystery and all that shizz, right? :p**

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**Chapter Eight **

**Doctor In Distress**

The Doctor regained consciousness with a strangled cry in his throat. He was immediately aware of the awful strained feeling in his chest that he got when one of his hearts had stopped beating. He launched himself to his feet with a gasp and punched himself hard in his chest. He staggered around, knocking things over that he just couldn't register, and thumped himself over and over to try and kick start the stationary heart. He stumbled backwards, slipping and sliding on the wet floor and slammed into the wall. He let out a splutter as his heart fluttered, and then fell still again. He blundered around, blind with the pain of his single heart taking all the strain. He hated the feeling. He had no idea how some people managed with only one heart. He slipped on the wet patch on the floor again, this time unable to regain his balance. He landed hard on his back, and that was just what he needed.

His heart pounded into life.

'Oooh yeah…' he breathed out in relief.

The Doctor lay there for a moment, allowing his body to recover from its brief drama. It took him a couple of seconds to realise that he was wet. Not just wet – _soaked_. He was drenched from head to foot with ice cold water. The cold didn't bother him much, but the fact that yet another suit was probably ruined did. He sat up and looked down at himself. Yep, ruined. His clothes clung to his body uncomfortably. He also noticed that he was still wearing Ashley's scarf around his neck. With a frown he unravelled it and dropped it on the floor beside him. He reached in his pocket to check that the sonic screwdriver didn't have any water damage, but instead his hand touched something soft and cold. With a confused frown he pulled out the offending object.

'Oh… oh urgh…' He held the defrosted, severed hand between his finger and thumb and grimaced at it. It hung limply, an awful fleshy white colour and tinged blue on the fingers. He tossed it aside and it landed with a wet _slop_ on the concrete floor. 'That's the last time I walk around with frozen body parts in my pockets.' He muttered, dusting his hands off.

He managed to get to his feet, still feeling a little groggy, and looked around the room for the first time. There were no corners – just one big circular brick wall surrounding him. The objects he had knocked over had been a table with a metal bowl on it and a standing lamp beside it. There was only one other piece of furniture in the room; a wooden armchair that looked like it had seen better days. Behind it was a glass-less window. The Doctor headed over and peered out.

'Well, well,' he breathed, looking out at the vast landscape. 'Talk about a room with a view.' He peered down and estimated that he must have been about thirty stories up. Jumping out the window was out of the question then.

He turned away and patted his pockets, discovering the sonic screwdriver in his inside pocket. He pulled it out, checked it and was delighted to discover it was still working. Beaming happily, he strode across the floor to the large wooden door and tried to open it. Of course, it was locked.

'A locked door,' he scoffed. 'As if a locked door is going to stop me.'

He pointed the sonic screwdriver at the lock, and then his grin dropped. He frowned and kicked the door angrily.

'Deadlock seal!' he exclaimed. 'Why does everyone have a deadlock seal these days?'

A light thud on the other side of the door caught his attention and he leaned forward, pressing his ear against the door. He heard more movement.

'Hello?' he called. 'Is there someone there?'

He got no reply.

'Because… you know, I'd quite like a towel or something. I'm a bit wet. Oh, and I'd like to know what I'm doing locked in the top of a tower. I get that you're all fond of locking people in towers around here, but it's normally the damsels and the princesses. And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not wearing my ball gown and tiara today.'

There was shuffling on the other side of the door again. There was definitely someone there and the Doctor knew that whoever it was wasn't sure what to do. Probably just a guard, and if there were guards, it meant there was someone in charge. This wasn't just a case of a disgruntled, rampaging ice dragon.

'Tell you what,' the Doctor said as casually and friendlily as he could manage. 'Just go get your boss, eh? I'm guessing I'm here for a reason so if you could just have someone up here and explain to me what's going on then I'd be much appreciative.'

There was silence on the other side. The Doctor was just about to speak again when he heard the lock click open. Grinning, he stepped back.

'Thank you,' he beamed as the door opened. 'I've never really liked being locked in rooms on my own you see…' He trailed off at the sight of the being that filled the doorway. His smile dropped a little. The guard filled the whole doorframe, about eight feet tall and huge across his armour-plated shoulders. He had auburn hair that was plaited and hung down his broad chest with a dull metal helmet perched on his head. He had a strange Viking look about him, apart from the fact he was obviously a Troll.

The Troll stared at the Doctor with small, beady red eyes. The skin around them was a dull green, although it was covered in dirty smears. He blinked lazily.

'Right,' the Doctor tried to grin again, but it felt a lot harder. 'Well then. I'm the Doctor.' He held out his hand. The Troll just looked at him so he pushed his hand into his damp pocket. 'Yes, well… Um, I'm just wondering why I'm here. I know I'm in high demand with some people, being the charming, intelligent, witty man that I am.' He beamed but the Troll continued to blink silently at him. 'Of course you would understand that because you seem to be exactly the same. Well… when I say exactly the same I mean the complete opposite obviously. Although what some people lack in brains they can make up in appearance.' He paused. 'But I think you lost out on that too, didn't you?'

The Troll narrowed his beady eyes. The Doctor took this as a warning.

'Right then.' He clapped his hands. 'I take it you're here to take me to someone, right?'

The Troll blinked once again, and then reached forward with an impossibly huge hand. He grabbed the Doctor roughly and dragged him out of the room.


	9. Tea Break

**A/N: Thanks to everyone reviewing, you're all aaawwwweeessoooommmeee :D Hopefully there'll be less moaning and more action after this chapter heh.**

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**Chapter Nine **

**Tea Break**

Ashley leaned against a tree, hugging herself from the cold air and sighed impatiently. The forest was silent apart from the gurgling of the stream and Arnie loudly slurping on the water that flowed down the mild slope. They had only been walking for ten minutes or so after leaving Barry the tree before he insisted on a break. A break that seemed to be taking a lot longer than necessary.

'Are you nearly done?' she sighed, looking around to the horse.

Arnie looked up with a frown, water dripping from his chin. 'Oh yeah, right. Because it's okay for you to stop and have a chinwag with a tree, but if I want to stop and have a drink that's just ridiculous.'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Look, I really can't be bothered to argue with you anymore. Can we just get moving?'

Arnie shook his neck and shifted on his hooves. 'Fine. Whatever.' He stopped and looked around. 'Um… which way did we come again?'

Ashley looked at him for a moment. 'What do you mean which way did we come? I thought you knew where we were going?'

'Well the forest doesn't have any signs. I was just heading east and… well… I can't remember which way east is.'

'Oh that's just fantastic.' Ashley sighed heavily. 'Are you telling me that we're lost?'

Arnie scowled at the thought of being lost. 'Of course not! I know exactly where we are! I just… I'm not sure which direction we go now.' He stopped and looked around. 'Tell you what, you wait here and I'll go and have a little gallop around, see if I can get my bearings.'

Ashley nodded and massaged her head with her fingers. 'Okay, okay. Just try and make it quick, right?'

Arnie muttered something she didn't hear, probably calling her a thick tourist again she assumed, and then trotted off. 'Oh,' he called. 'And seriously, don't wander off. There's a reason I don't like these woods, right? And don't touch the apples.'

Without explaining anymore, Arnie disappeared through the foliage. Ashley sighed and looked around, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. It had been a couple of hours since the Doctor had been taken, and the voice in her head that was insisting that he was dead was only getting louder, playing on her already frayed nerves. She wanted to get to the castle now – no more standing talking to trees, no more arguing with an ill-tempered horse. When Arnie got back she was going to force him to give her a ride. If he had just let her get on his back in the first place they would probably already be there. And all he did was moan that she was too slow. God that horse moaned a lot.

She suddenly had a moment of clarity and wondered if this was what the Doctor felt like when all she did was moan and whine about things. She made a mental note not to do it so much anymore – unless she _wanted_ him to leave her stranded on some moon somewhere.

Arnie seemed to be taking quite a long time and she was getting restless. She paced for a little while, and eventually her pacing turned into a regular walk and before she knew it, she was walking slowly through the forest, looking around for more enchanted trees or at least any signs of life other than that insufferable horse. He had warned her to stay in one place and really she should have understood why he said that, seeing as the Doctor often told her the exact same thing. But he had only warned her of apples and she didn't exactly think they would come swinging out of the trees and eat her or something.

Although she had come to be unsurprised by the unexpected.

The smell of burning reached her and Ashley came to a stop. Frowning, she sniffed the air. She wasn't an expert, but it smelled like burning wood. Or perhaps a coal fire. She looked around for the source and eventually something caught her eye through a clearing. She tentatively approached, pushing aside a leafy branch and gasped at what she saw.

A small, beautiful cottage stood in the clearing, with grey smoke puffing up from the red-bricked chimney. It was built on a little slope, giving it a quaint, hand-made look with unmatched bricks. The garden was penned in by a little picket fence and the garden was awash with bright colourful flowers. Ashley stood where she was for a moment, taking in the scene. She contemplated on going back to find Arnie and telling him they could ask for directions, but then decided that she didn't need to. She could just knock on the door, ask, and then go back and tell him herself. Maybe if she got the directions she could just carry on alone, and then everyone would be happy.

Ashley approached the house slowly and opened the small white gate. She had expected it to creak, but it had opened silently. She walked up the gravely path, pulling the mitten from her right hand ready to knock on the wooden door. She paused as something caught her eye. In the middle of the garden stood an apple tree, with the roundest, reddest apples she had ever seen. They looked beautiful and she suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to go and pick one, but Arnie's warning rang in her ears. And plus, she wasn't just going to nick someone's apples out of their garden. She wasn't a thief.

Ashley carried on up the path and hesitated at the door, before knocking twice. She had barely finished the second knock when the door opened suddenly, making her recoil in alarm. She blinked at the person who had opened the door for a moment, before managing a small smile.

'Hello. Um… I'm sorry to disturb you, but me and my, uh, friend are a bit lost and I was wondering if you could give us some directions?'

The little old woman cocked her wrinkled head and smiled kindly. 'Of course my dear,' she beamed, shuffling back and resting most of her weight on a knobbly walking stick. 'Come in, come in.'

Ashley hesitated on the doorstep. 'Well my friend is just out there, he doesn't know I'm here you see…'

'He'll find you, he'll find you.' The old woman replied. 'Come on in out of the cold. I've just put a pot of tea on. Warm yourself up, girl. You'll freeze to death out there.'

Ashley glanced over her shoulder again, searching for any signs of Arnie, but there was none. Half wincing, she stepped over the threshold. 'I'm kind of in a hurry.' She said.

'Nonsense!' the old woman replied with a wave of one frail hand. 'You have time to warm up, girl. You'll be able to move much quicker with a cup of tea down your neck.'

She disappeared through a low door. Ashley lingered near the front door for a moment, before finally closing it behind her and following the old woman. She had to stoop a little under the doorframe. The old woman was at the cupboard, getting out two small china cups while a black pot puffed silently on the stove. The kitchen was crammed with all the little things that old people always seemed to hoard over the years; like ornaments and photographs that sat on every single outcrop. There was a small dining table covered in a red tablecloth.

'Sit down, sit down,' the old woman crooned as she shuffled to the stove with the cups. 'I imagine you're exhausted.'

Ashley sat down at the table, feeling awkward. She always felt this way around old people. They made her uncomfortable. She never knew what she was supposed to say, or how she was supposed to act. She just hoped this would be a case of drink the tea, get the directions and leave. Arnie was going to have a right moan when she got back.

'Do you take sugar, girl?'

'Um, one please.' Then she added hastily. 'Thank you.'

'Oooh nice manners,' the old woman smiled, shuffling towards the table with the two steaming cups. 'It's not very often the children around here keep their manners. They start growing facial hair and wearing low-cut ball gowns and their manners just fly out of the window. As well as their brains.'

Ashley smiled politely and peered into the cup of tea set down in front of her. 'Well I'm not from around here to be honest.'

'Ah!' the old woman beamed, revealing a mouth of crooked teeth. 'A tourist! Well I'm sure you've already noticed that tourist season is cancelled this year. Shame. I like seeing them roaming around.'

Ashley nodded and took a small sip of the tea. It was hot and it burned her mouth, which distracted her from the tingling aftertaste it left. 'It started off as a kind of tourist thing,' she shrugged. 'But then… well… I lost my friend.'

The old woman looked sympathetic. 'Oh dear. Get split up did you?'

'You could say that. He got taken by a dragon.'

The old woman blinked for a moment. 'Oh… oh yes I heard about that.' She watched Ashley over the brim of her cup as she took a sip. Apparently her mouth was flame retardant. 'Well that _is_ a shame.'

'He should be okay though,' Ashley smiled. 'He gets caught up in this kind of thing all the time. Although… well, he's never mentioned a dragon before… But I'm sure he's been in worse trouble.'

'Troublesome boy, eh?' the old woman arched a thin eyebrow. 'You seem like too nice a girl to be hanging around with troublesome boys.'

'Oh he's not troublesome.' Ashley chuckled. 'Trouble kind of finds him.'

The old woman nodded. 'So where is it you're off to then? I take it you're off to find your troublesome friend?'

'We think he might have been taken to a castle in the Dark Woods. Or at least that's where Arnie said it was. He's a bit useless to be honest, he's already got us lost.'

The old woman's expression darkened. 'The Dark Woods, you say?'

Ashley paused. 'Yeah. Do you know about it?'

'Everyone knows about that place. And everyone knows not to go there. Not since… well… not since _they_ appeared.'

Ashley watched her, wide eyes. 'Who?'

The old woman took another sip of her tea. 'The Trolls.'

'Trolls?'

'Yes, girl. They appeared about three months ago. You can never trust a Troll. They're too big and brutish. They would rather eat you than anything else. We had never had a Troll problem here before. I tell you, I wrote a letter to the council about it, but they didn't even reply. Didn't even seem concerned when the dragon appeared! But then again the dragon did destroy the council house…'

Ashley tilted her head curiously. 'So the Trolls turned up just before the dragon?'

The old woman nodded. 'No offence, girl, but I don't particularly like talking about these kinds of things. Drink that tea up and I'll explain how you get to the Dark Woods from here.' She pushed herself up out of her seat with creaking bones. 'I think I'll have myself another.'

Ashley watched the old woman shuffle back to the stove and looked back down at her tea. She could picture Arnie stomping around in the forest looking for her, complaining and moaning. Actually, he probably would have just headed back to the town. He could do that, but Ashley doubted that he would. There wasn't really anywhere else for him to go. She picked up the cup and blew the top before taking a quick drink. This time she noticed the strange taste.

'What kind of tea is this?' she asked as she peered into the cup. 'It tastes… It's got a strange taste to it.'

The old woman poured another cup of tea. 'Oh, my own recipe.'

Ashley looked up, noticing the drastically dropped pitch in the woman's voice. Now it was deep and throaty. Ashley's vision shuddered in front of her eyes and she placed her hands on the table, blinking rapidly. Her eyesight only continued to blur.

'What… what was…' She blinked, looking up at the growling sound ahead of her.

The old woman was growing and swelling. It was hard for Ashley to see exactly what was happening, but brown hairs sprouted from the old woman's arms. Her face seemed to extend and stretch, splitting in half. Her dress popped at the seams and furry thighs burst out. Huge white teeth sprouted out of the hairy muzzle.

Ashley blinked, her head and vision swimming. She looked into the huge, cavernous toothy mouth and mumbled, 'That's some big teeth you got there.'


	10. Voices From Above

**A/N: I just read over what I have of this story so far, and god I'm slow, aren't I? It's taken me like, ten chapters to practically start the actual storyline! Bloody disgraceful... But tough, I like my filler xD**

**I have a question though... I've never been familiar with all the fanfiction lingo, and I've only just figured out that AU means Alternative Universe (yas i'm that slow) and I've always come across some characters being referred to as Mary-Sue's. What the hell does that mean?! Just curious :p**

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**Chapter Ten **

**Voices From Above**

The Doctor could quite confidently say that he didn't care for Trolls much at all. They were ignorant and bullish, and had less intelligence than a dead toad. They normally just roamed around in groups, smashing things up like oversized, rowdy drunken teenagers and winding up the locals. They were violent, yes. Stupid, yes. Guards, no.

Trolls didn't have the obedience in them to be guards.

The huge ginger Troll dragged the Doctor down the stone corridor. He had already been hauled down a flight of winding stairs, nearly breaking every bone in his body at the carelessness of the Troll. But he was still okay. Well, marginally. He felt a bit ill really.

'This seems like an awful long way to be pulled,' the Doctor commented. 'Couldn't your boss or whoever have locked me in a tower a little closer to them?'

The Troll didn't respond. He swung the Doctor around a corner and carried down a new corridor.

'No very talkative, are you?' asked the Doctor. 'You're not shy, are you? There's no need to be shy around me.'

He still got to response. The Troll finally came to a stop at a huge oak door and pushed it open. The hinges creaked painfully and then the Doctor was suddenly free of the Troll's grip and stumbling forwards into the new room. Before he had a chance to turn around or speak, the door was slammed shut again and the sounds of the Troll stomping away got quieter and quieter.

The Doctor adjusted his collar. 'Well.' He muttered. 'That's no way to treat guests.'

He shuddered at the chill that racked through him from his wet clothes and looked around his new accommodation. It was a lot larger than the last room, with a rectangular shape. In front of him were three stone steps that led down into what looked like a dining room. There was a fireplace at the far end, but there was no fire. There was a lamp off to one sight, with a flickering bulb. The Doctor approached it, pulling the sonic screwdriver from his pocket.

'Electricity,' he mused. 'Can't be too far from civilisation then.'

He treated the lamp with a blast from the sonic screwdriver, causing it to shine at its full potential. With the aide of it he could now get a better look at his surroundings. It was a dining room all right, it just didn't look like it had been used for a while. The table with thick with dust and cobwebs. It was already laid out with plates and cutlery, but whoever had put them out never got around to eating off them. A little spider was trapped inside a grimy bowl, fighting fruitlessly to climb out. The Doctor gave it a helping hand and it scuttled away down one of the cracks in the wood.

He pulled out one of the heavy chairs and sat down with a sigh, deciding that it was boring to be the one locked in the tower. He could probably get out quite easily – he had been in rooms that were better sealed than this one, and he could probably be out in about five minutes or so, but curiosity was keeping him here. And also the fact that the dragon was probably still hanging around outside somewhere and dragons had good memories. Maybe next time it wouldn't be as considerate and just smoosh him instead of freezing him.

The Doctor wondered if Ashley was okay. She had probably had a major panic attack, if she wasn't still having one. But she wasn't entirely useless… well, not _all_ of the time anyway. She was probably trying to find him right now, although he hoped that she had some kind of a guide. She would probably blunder into some form of danger at some point. Hopefully she would have a relatively good knowledge of fairytales and have the common sense not to eat the apples or talk to any old women. Old women were always trouble around here and they always went for the out-of-towners. Maybe Arnie stayed with her?

'God I hope not,' he mumbled, remembering the rudeness of the horse. 'They won't get anywhere for arguing.'

A slight whirring sound caught his ear and he glanced around curiously. It stopped almost immediately, but it had made enough noise to receive his full attention. He listened and finally became aware of a low hum. It was low enough to be missed; a human would probably not notice it if they tried, but the Doctor had good hearing. He pushed himself up to his feet and looked around with his eyes.

'Fee, fi, fo, fum,' he mumbled, experimenting. 'I can hear a little old hum.'

The whir sounded again and he half smiled. It was recording equipment, recording whenever he spoke. If there were microphones, it meant someone was listening. He pulled the sonic screwdriver from his pocket and turned it on, searching for the equipment. The signal led him to a musty old vase balanced on a stand that was about five feet tall. The Doctor tucked the screwdriver away and listened.

He whistled a very quick version of 'Peter and the wolf' and, as expected, the whirring sounded from inside the vase. He plucked the vase from its spot and peered inside. Then he dropped it onto the floor, causing it to shatter into dozens of pieces. He pulled his glasses out from his soaked pocket and put them on, only to discover the lenses smeared. He tried to clean them on his suit, but the wetness hindered his efforts. With a frown, he put them back in his pocket and picked up the black tape recorder that had been sitting inside the vase.

It was nothing special, only a shoddy cassette recorder. It was a wonder there was actually one still working on this planet. He flipped it over and was delighted at what he saw.

'A Version 7 Sound Catcher!' He beamed at the small silver disc attached to the bottom. He plucked it off and put the tape recorder aside. 'Oh I haven't seen one of these for _years_!' He turned it over in his hands, still beaming. They were designed to latch on to a certain speech pattern and record only that. A recording system that didn't catch any outside sound that could drown out what the person was saying. While he was examining the piece of equipment, now sitting cross-legged on the floor, a whine of feedback suddenly sounded. He looked up in surprise and noticed a speaker in the corner.

'Well done, hero,' a mildly annoyed voice grumbled through it. 'That vase had stood there relatively undisturbed for nearly three decades until you came along.'

The Doctor stood up, dropping the disc in his pocket and looked around. 'I'm sorry about that,' he replied, unsure if he could be heard now that he destroyed the equipment. 'But I'm not a big fan of being recorded. I have a habit of saying things I regret you see, and other things that I'd rather some people not here. At some point I'd probably mention something about how I hate it when Ashley clips her fingernails in the console room without a bin or anything, and really I wouldn't want her to hear that because it would embarrass her. If I was being recorded you see, she might hear it at some point and then there'd be red faces all around, wouldn't there…' The Doctor paused and frowned slightly. 'Hang on… hero?'

'Lay your weapon down in the middle of the table please and stand against the back wall.' The voice ordered.

The Doctor looked puzzled. 'Weapon? I think it's pretty obvious from my skin-hugging suit that I'm not carrying around any weapons.' He paused. 'Oh, you mean my sonic screwdriver!' He reached in his pocket and pulled it out, pressing the button twice. 'It's not a weapon! It's harmless really. Nothing more than a penlight. Well, when I say nothing more than a penlight I obviously mean it's a lot more than a penlight. But that's not the important thing, is it? And because it's harmless I'd quite like to keep it in my pocket, thank you very much.'

'Lay your weapon down in the middle of the table please and stand against the back wall,' the voice repeated in exasperation. 'Or I'll send a Troll in to do if for you.'

The Doctor mulled over the idea of being man handed by another Troll and didn't like the idea at all. He tossed the screwdriver up and caught it again. 'I will get it back again, won't I? Because I really like this screwdriver.'

'Yeah yeah, sure.' The voice replied uninterestedly. 'Just get on with it will you?'

The Doctor looked at the screwdriver sadly, and then put it down in the middle of the table. He gave it one lingering look, before moving to the back wall and leaning against it with his hands behind his back. 'No chance I could get a towel or something, is there? Or a hairdryer?'

The voice didn't speak again. Instead there were approaching footsteps on the other side of the heavy wooden door. The Doctor waited and listened. He estimated that there must be about four Trolls, or at least four very big men, and a lighter footed person. Maybe a woman. There were clicks and clunks as the door was unlocked. The Doctor waited, not allowing his anticipation to show and kept smiling casually. The door opened finally and four Trolls marched inside, standing in a line.

'Well hello there!' the Doctor beamed. 'Well don't you lot look all smart standing in a row like that.'

The Trolls seemed unresponsive. The two in the middle stepped aside and the Doctor's smile faltered as the fifth, lighter footed person stepped out from between them.

The fifth person, who was obviously the one in charge and probably the one behind whatever was going on here, stood at no more than three foot five. He had an eye patch over one beady yellow eye, and the other was narrowed at the Doctor. He stood hunched, one gnarled hand cupped over the top of a walking stick. He grimaced, causing his thick grey beard to twist with the expression.

'So, hero,' the small man croaked. 'How confident do you feel now?'

The Doctor blinked, and then laughed uncontrollably. He doubled over, eyes watering. He was laughing so hard he didn't hear the small man order the Trolls to shut him up.


	11. Rambling Rescue

**A/N: I got really carried away with this chapter. It was six pages long in word, but I decided that was way too much. There was too much rambling, so I've cut it down lol. Eeesh I'm having fun with this story lol! :D**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven **

**Rambling Rescue**

Arnie trotted back through the foliage smugly, now knowing exactly where they needed to go. How dare that dense human imply that he was lost? He was a prince's horse! And one thing that prince's horses never did was get lost. Not unless it was their intention anyway…

Still, now he had his bearings they could get moving again, and hopefully this stupid nightmare would be over as quickly as it had all unravelled. They had to continue through these woods, which would take a couple of hours at least, and then across the river that separated this forest from the Dark Woods. Then it was just a case of getting through the Dark Woods without being eaten or killed and they would be at the castle in no time. Then Arnie could race all the way back to his stable and wait there until everything blew over.

Now if he could only find that stupid red haired woman…

'Oi!' he yelled out, looking around the deserted patch where he had left her. 'Where are you?'

He got no reply. He snorted irritably and trotted forward, looking around.

'What, is the request to stay in one place _really_ that difficult?' he grumbled, venturing into the surrounding undergrowth. 'I hope she's been eaten or something. That'll teach her a bloody lesson…'

What was it with humans anyway? They could never help themselves from having a good nosey around, more times than others getting themselves into some stupid avoidable danger. Arnie had had two other riders before Prince Karl and both of them had died at the hands of their own ignorance. Prince Francis, for instance. He didn't _need_ to go into that burning building to fetch that tarty princess. Morons the whole bloody lot of them. Arnie was counting down the days until he could retire.

'Ashley?' he called. 'Look, I'm not wandering around her looking for you. I'm just going to go back to my stable. I couldn't give a crap what happens to this place. Good riddance I say.'

He stopped and looked around. Actually he had no intention of leaving her behind – not now anyway. He wasn't completely aware of it though, it was more of a subconscious thing. He trotted ahead, picking up a strange smell in the air. After a moment he recognised it as a coal fire.

'Oh she didn't…' he muttered. 'She can't be that stupid…'

Arnie stopped and looked at the little cottage that sat amongst the pretty flowers and let out a groan. Of course she would blunder right into the Big Bad Wolf's house. She just had to, didn't she?

He stood there for a moment, deliberating over what to do. The wolf could have already eaten her. Would save him a lot of bother in the long run. Arnie turned to go, but then stopped. He couldn't just go. Yes he was a coward and yes he had ran from every minutely dangerous thing in his whole life but this… This seemed big. A lot bigger than him. It also seemed that something that wouldn't go away just by running, it would catch up.

Arnie sighed heavily. 'Damn.' He muttered, and then slowly approached the house.

* * *

Ashley slowly rose up from unconsciousness. She was suffering from major room-spin, something she hadn't had to go through since that time her and Manny had worked their way through four bottles of wine and a half a bottle of Jim Beam. Her stomach was lurching slightly and her eyes were rolling. She struggled to open them, and the left one obliged first. She looked around groggily, unable to make anything out through the blurs. She tried to lift her hands to her eyes but found that she couldn't. Then she became aware of the ropes that tied her hands and feet and the cloth that was tied around her mouth.

A low humming helped bring her back around completely and she looked around with wide eyes, trying to remember what had happened. She was in a kitchen, apparently, lying on the floor on her side. She could see table legs and chair legs, a brown rug and a pair of feet. A pair of great big, hairy, clawed paws. Ashley remained silent and watched the feet. Remembering the terrible transformation of the old woman into the wolf (_yes, a big frickin' wolf_, she reminded herself) she felt a pang of unease. Actually, it was more than unease. It was complete raw fear.

The wolf's humming turned into a little song. 'Chop, chop, choppity chop,' he sang in a low, gruff voice. 'Chop off the bottom and chop off the top. What we have left we will put in the pot… chop, chop, choppity chop…'

Ashley looked around, trying not to make any noise, and saw the kitchen door standing open just behind her. She could burn through the ropes and make a run for it. If the wolf caught her she could just singe its horrible wiry fur. She half smiled, more from her nervousness than the fact she had a decent plan. She narrowed her eyes, concentrating on the ropes. Burn through them and she would be sorted.

Nothing happened.

She didn't even feel slightly warm.

Ashley frowned. Why wasn't anything happening? She tried again. Nothing.

Okay, right. So she couldn't burn anything at this moment in time. She tried to think of another plan, but the irritation that her so called powers had vacated at such a pivotal moment distracted her a little. What the hell was the point in being able to send things up in flames when you couldn't do it when you needed to? She looked towards the door again, and then to the wolf. It was still humming away, chopping something on the bench. Each slice and _thump_ of the knife made her shudder.

That was going to be her soon.

Ashley slowly pushed herself along the floor, moving slowly. She looked like an overgrown caterpillar, pushing herself along with her feet and straightening out, before curling her legs up again for another push. She kept her eyes on the wolf at all times. As she moved around she saw its tail wagging gently from side to side. For now, the rest of it was concealed by the table.

The wolf suddenly turned and she stopped abruptly and closed her eyes. She heard it padding across the floor, now whistling a vaguely familiar tune. There was the creak of a cupboard door opening, and then the wolf returned to its place and continued humming and chopping. Ashley opened one eye, and then the other, and then began pushing herself along the floor again.

Then something unexpected caused her to stop when she was just inches from the threshold. There was a knock on the front door. A loud and impatient knock. The wolf stopped what he was doing and looked around.

'If that's a bloody salesman I'm going to use his intestinal tract for plate decoration.' He growled, coming around the table. Ashley looked up as the wolf stopped in front of her and looked down, eyes narrowing. His black nose twitched and his lip curled up to reveal the thick yellow teeth. He growled, causing Ashley to flinch and whimper, and to close her eyes tightly. She waited for some kind of attack, mostly to be eaten alive, but when nothing came she opened her eyes tentatively. When she looked up, she saw the old woman – not the wolf. She just caught the last dark hairs receding back into the old woman's cheeks.

'You can scream all you like,' the old woman smiled eerily. 'It'll give me an excuse to eat whoever that is too.' She smacked her lips and rubbed her stomach, before shuffling past her towards the front door.

Ashley wriggled quicker so her head stuck out of the kitchen door and she could see down the corridor. A small end table blocked her vision completely, but she could see the old woman's slippered feet and the walking stick shuffle to the door and then pull it open. Ashley felt a strange mingle of excited and dismayed when she saw the four hooves on the other side of the door.

'Hi,' Arnie's familiar, arrogant tone proved it was him. 'Okay, um… I was just passing through and well… I've lost the um, this girl I was with. She's got red hair and she's dressed weird. Got quite an irritating, kind of droney voice. Complains a lot.'

Ashley frowned and for a moment hoped that the wolf would just eat him. That quickly passed and she was soon willing Arnie to turn and get out of here. Obviously he had no idea that the old woman was the wolf.

'Oh yes I think I know who you mean,' the old woman replied nicely. 'She was here not so long ago asking for directions to a castle. She left though.'

'Oh right, because… well, you see… the thing is…' Arnie ducked his head down and Ashley was surprised when he looked right at her, totally unsurprised. 'That I can see her right behind you.'

A low growl sounded from the old woman. 'Get the hell out of here you stupid horse,' she hissed, her voice now with a more guttural tone. 'You're lucky I don't like horse meat. But if you don't beat it I can always freeze you and keep you for a dinner party.'

The old woman went to slam the door, but Arnie stuck a hoof in the way. 'Honestly? I'd love to. I'd love to just turn around and head back home so I can go to sleep because frankly, I'm knackered, but I'm kind of stuck in with all of this now you see. You've probably noticed that great big dragon flying about, right? Well it's kind of in the middle of freezing everyone and as it turns out, that girl reckons that her friend, who is already at the castle… if he's not dead of course… can stop all of this before this place is nothing more than a planet full of snowmen. Now, I don't know about you Mr Wolf, but I wouldn't really like that to happen. I mean, there wouldn't be anymore people for you to eat, unless you like frozen people of course… just put them on a stick, right?' He chuckled, ignoring the old woman's bemused expression. 'Anyway, yeah… where was I…? Oh right, well if you eat her, I don't think we'll be able to stop all of this you see. And I don't think she's really all that worth it to be honest. Look at her, she hasn't got much meat on her, don't you think?'

The old woman turned and looked at Ashley, who was lying across the floor and watching them both in confusion. The old woman seemed to consider it for a moment, before turning back to Arnie.

'Well… It's been a while since anyone's passed through,' she replied, now with the wolf's growling voice. Hairs were beginning to sprout from various places on her body. 'Last person to wander through here was an axe man.' The wolf, which was now halfway through morphing from the old woman, held up a hand to reveal one missing finger. 'Chopped off one of my fingers he did. Hate those bloody axe men. Think they're kings of the forest. One of them hacked up my granddad you know.'

Arnie nodded. 'Really?' he asked, feigning interest. 'Wow. So, what do you say? Let her come with me.'

The wolf looked back at Ashley, drumming his hairy fingers on the door. 'Hmm…' He mulled it over for a moment. 'I've already got the pot on…'

'She's not going to fill you up!' Arnie cried. 'After half an hour you'll be starving again.'

The wolf still looked unsure. He started to shake his large head. 'I don't think so…' He began to close the door again.

'Wait, wait,' Arnie insisted, trying to stick his head through the narrow gap in the door. 'Tell you what, you let her come with me and I'll give you the new address of the pigs.'

The wolf opened the door wide and eyed Arnie unsurely. 'You know where they live? I thought they were under Kingdom Protection.'

'Well they are,' Arnie nodded. 'And I'm not surprised after the carry-on they had with you. I mean really, did you have to knock down that little pigs house with a bulldozer? You know how long he spent building that?'

The wolf half frowned. 'How would you know where they live? You're bluffing.'

Arnie rolled his eyes. 'I'm a Prince's horse. I know where they are.' He turned and showed the wolf his rear. 'See the brand?'

The wolf peered at the brand on Arnie's hide. 'Okay,' he said, leaning against the doorframe. He creaked under his weight. 'So you're a prince's horse. How do I know you're not just going to give me a dodgy address?'

'Well I can only give you my word, can't I?' Arnie half nodded. 'And you should know it's a Royal Duty to never go back on ones word.'

The wolf eyed Arnie for a moment, and then looked back to Ashley. He breathed out sharply through his nostrils, and then sighed. 'Okay, seems like a fair trade to me. And I've been after those sodding pigs for ages. They won't expect me to turn up on their new doorsteps.'

Behind him, Ashley breathed a sigh of relief. Arnie grinned. 'Good man… uh… wolf.'

The wolf grunted something in response and went back to Ashley, hunching down beside her. She watched nervously as he untied the ropes. His wiry hairs itched her skin and his hot breath smelled disgusting. After what seemed like an eternity, the wolf picked Ashley up and returned her to her feet.

'You are a bit scrawny.' He commented with a look of distaste. 'Go on then before I change my mind.'

Ashley ran out of the house faster than she thought she could, and didn't stop until she was out of the garden. She stopped and looked back to see the wolf writing something down on a piece of paper while Arnie peered at it.

Arnie shook his head. 'No, it's _Banbury _Cross. Not _Brandbury_ Cross. There's no _D_.'

The wolf corrected his mistake. 'Right. Got it.'

'All down?'

The wolf turned and looked at Arnie. 'If this turns out to be the wrong address, I'm going to find both of you and boil you alive, got that?'

Arnie nodded as he trotted away. 'Sounds charming. Nice doing business with you Mr Wolf!'

The wolf grunted and then closed the door noisily. Arnie trotted right past Ashley and towards the woods. Ashley cast a quick, nervous look towards the cottage and then hurried after him. They walked in silence for a few moments.

'Um… thank you…' Ashley started.

Arnie frowned and snorted. 'Oh shut up before I go back and tell him that I changed my mind and he can have you.'

Ashley rose her eyebrows in surprise, but fell silent. They walked on a little further, but Ashley had a question that she had to ask.

'You didn't _really_ give him the addresses of some pigs, did you?' she asked, wincing.

'Of course not,' Arnie replied. 'Do you think I'm some kind of monster? No, I sent him down to the community centre in Banbury Cross. The axe men are getting a new delivery of axes later on, and that's where they practise their chopping.'


	12. All Things Great And Small

**A/N: Short (lol), because I'm lazy :P Again, thanks to everyone reading and reviewing, it's-a makin' me happy xD**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve **

**All Things Great And Small**

The Doctor was blinded by his own tears of laughter when the first Troll reached him. A large, heavy fist collided with his left kidney and he let out a strange, strangled sound that was part laugh, part groan; '_Haoourgh_…' He dropped to his knees and clutched his side, grimacing.

'Oh now come on…' he groaned. 'That was totally uncalled for.' He looked up again at the small man by the door and couldn't stifle the giggles that rose, despite the pain he had received for them.

'Again.' The small man ordered.

'No!' The Doctor raised his hands to the Troll, who was getting ready to give the him another kidney punch. 'No, I'll stop, I promise.' He forced himself to stop smirking and looked towards the disgruntled dwarf. 'I was just expecting someone that was a little _higher_ in authority.' He sniggered again.

The Troll gave him another blow to his kidney. The Doctor groaned and doubled over, resting his forehead on the cold floor.

'Okay, it wasn't worth it…' he muttered.

'I'll have you know, _hero_,' the small dwarf spat, shuffling forward with an angry grimace on his face. 'That I'm the most important man in this castle, and when I have all of your kind safely locked away then I'll be the most important person on this whole _planet_!'

The dwarf came to a stop in front of the Doctor. With the Doctor still on his knees and slightly bent with the pain in his kidney, they were roughly eye to eye. The little man reached forward and grabbed the Doctor's damp collar.

'So don't you dare be disrespectful in my presence.' The dwarf hissed, sending a shower of spittle to rain on the Doctor's face.

The Doctor grimaced, and wiped his face with one hand. 'Say it don't spray it…' he muttered, and then grinned. 'I always wanted to say that.'

The dwarf shoved him back angrily, but he barely shifted from his spot.

'You can stop the act,' the dwarf told him sternly. 'I know that without your weapon that you are completely defenceless. You can get around to pleading for your life if you like.'

The Doctor wiped away some of the wet on his cheek that he had missed and frowned slightly. 'Oh I wouldn't say defenceless. I've managed plenty of times before without my sonic screwdriver. It's pretty handy to have and it's saved my life on many occasions, but it's not really essential, you know? Think of me as the outer space MacGyver. Very resourceful, me.'

The dwarf stared at him for a moment. 'You're not like the others.' He pointed out thoughtfully. 'You found the tape equipment almost immediately. Most of the others found it only because they were trashing the room to try and escape.'

The Doctor smiled broadly. 'Does that mean I get a gold star?'

The Troll smacked him across the back of his head and growled; 'Mind your manners.'

The Doctor looked up in surprise, rubbing the back of his head, and then pointed at the Troll with his thumb. 'What's all this about anyway? Since when have Trolls been concerned with _manners_?'

The dwarf crossed his short arms and eyed the Doctor while sucking on his teeth noisily. 'You don't know who I am, do you?'

'Well you're a bit tetchy, so I'd have to go with Grumpy. Possibly Dopey…'

The dwarf grimaced, an expression that seemed to be his most used. 'I'm Janex the Great!' he exclaimed, raising his short arms. 'And you should be cowering at my feet!'

The Doctor looked down at his feet. 'I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you. I'm already getting a crick in my back.'

The dwarf, or Janex the Great as he preferred to be called, hit the Doctor on his head with his walking stick. It made a slightly hollow _clonk_ as it collided with his skull.

'Ow!' the Doctor cried. 'Now I think that's quite enough of the hitting!'

'I'll say when it's enough,' Janex shot at him irritably. He snorted and turned away. 'Put him with the others,' he told the Trolls. 'He won't be much of a meal, but he'll be a good snack.'

The Doctor felt himself being lifted up and decided that he had to figure out what was going on, and fast. The last comment about being a meal didn't sound all that appealing to him. 'So you've got an ice dragon on your side, eh?' he called quickly. 'Impressive. How did you manage that by the way?'

Janex paused for a moment, and then looked around with a grin. 'Yes, it is impressive isn't it? But I doubt you would be able to understand with that bullet-hero brain of yours, so I won't bother explaining how I did it.'

'What's all this hero stuff about?' the Doctor asked quickly as the Troll began to drag him back across the room. 'My name's not Hero. It's the Doctor.'

'At least you're not as thick as some of the others,' Janex sighed, standing on his tiptoes to reach the sonic screwdriver on the table. He turned it over in his small hands curiously. 'But apparently not as well equipped.'

'Be careful with that,' the Doctor insisted, straining against the Troll's pull and failing. 'Don't muck about with it please, I'll be wanting it back in one piece.'

Janex only waved a small hand in dismissal and turned away, examining the screwdriver closely. The Doctor struggled against the Troll, but when another grabbed his other arm and frogmarched him out, he gave up and allowed them to lead him out.


	13. Heroic Duty

**A/N: I've pulled my dusty PS2 out of the cupboard of oblivion and have gotten myself addicted to Tomb Raider all over again D: This chapter would have probably been up yesterday if I hadn't sat in my bedroom all day with the curtains shut and looking like some kind of junkie and shaking all over with the amount of coffee I'd drank... Then I moved onto GTA3 and, I'm not really one for those kind of games tbh, but I went out this morning and was looking at cars thinking 'i'll have that one' and then remembered I can't just take people's cars... Who says games don't warp minds?! xD**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Heroic Duty**

Ashley grunted as she summoned all her strength to lift her left foot and move it in front of the other. Now it was just a case of getting the right foot to get in front again. Arnie was waiting on the other side impatiently, tapping his hoof on the soft ground.

'Get a move on, will you!' he called.

Ashley managed to pull her right foot free from the thick, sucking mud with a _slurp_. She was completely brown from the knees down. Her boots were unrecognisable from the sludge in the muddy pit they were crossing. They had stumbled into it a while ago, and first had tried to find a way around but had given up after half an hour. It seemed to stretch on forever. Arnie had gotten through easily, what with having small, even shaped feet to help him. However it wasn't so easy for Ashley.

'Do you think I'm doing it on purpose or something?' she snapped irritably, grabbing her stuck leg by the thigh and tugging. 'Do you think I like sploging around in the mud?'

'How would I know?' Arnie snorted. 'I've never understood you humans. Just run through it!'

'I can't!' Ashley yelled. 'Just shut up will you! For God's sake.' She managed to get one foot free again and moved onto the other. She wasn't getting anywhere fast. She tugged hard on her other foot, and let out a cry of surprise when her boot slipped right off and she dropped onto her hands and knees. A spray of mud hit her in the face and she screwed up her features in distaste.

'Ha!' Arnie brayed, grinning in amusement.

She looked up at him feeling a shiver of anger up her spine, but decided to remain silent. She managed to push herself back to her feet and turned to try and fetch the trapped boot. She pulled and pulled, put it wasn't budging.

'Do it gently,' Arnie told her, still sniggering. 'Pulling it like that only makes it harder to get out.'

'I know what I'm doing.' Ashley grunted in response. 'I don't need your stupid help.'

Arnie snorted and then sat down, watching with the smirk. 'Alright then.'

She shot him an irritable glance, and then tugged hard on the boot again. She was about to give up for the second time when it came away suddenly, with a loud sucking sound. She fell backwards with a wail, and landed flat on her back, boot held tightly in one hand. She grimaced at the wet mud around her body.

On the bank, Arnie laughed loudly.

'I think I'm ready for your help now.' Ashley said flatly, through gritted teeth.

She listened as Arnie stepped back into the thick mud, easily crossing it and joining her side. He looked down at her, grinning. 'You know,' he told her. 'You look like you belong there.'

Ashley frowned and held out an arm. 'Can you please help me? If it's not too much trouble.'

Arnie snorted in amusement, and then turned around, flicking his long grey tail at her. 'Grab hold.' He told her. 'I'll pull you up, and then you can get on my back, okay? But you have to give me a wash down as soon as we get to a stream. A proper one mind, not just a stupid sprinkle of water. I want a scrub.'

Ashley frowned. 'I'm not washing you.'

He turned and glowered at her. 'Well stay here then, see what I care.'

'Okay, fine.' She reached up and grabbed his tail. Arnie trotted forward a little and she felt the mud sucking her clothes as she was pulled out of it. She grimaced and finally got to her feet. 'Oh… urgh that's minging…' she grumbled.

Arnie eyed her. 'You're telling me.' He turned and nodded to his back. 'Get on before I change my mind.'

Ashley hesitated, eyeing the riding gear on Arnie's back. She wasn't good at riding horses. She put her muddy hands on his back, one of them still gripping her boot, and she pushed herself up. It was hard as the mud made her hands and legs slippery, and Arnie wasn't helping by wriggling and whining. Eventually though, she got onto his back.

'Oh… oh that's disgusting.' Arnie grimaced, wriggling underneath her. 'I can feel it dripping on me.'

'Just get a move on, will you!' Ashley snapped. 'We're sinking.'

Arnie stepped through the mud, not quite as easily as before with the extra weight, but a lot quicker than Ashley would have managed on her own. He finally got out on the other side and scraped his hooves on the grass.

'There,' he said. 'We're out. Now get off before you stain my coat or something.'

'Gladly.' Ashley muttered, and slid off. She sat down on the grass grumpily and went to pull on her boot again. She paused, and tipped it upside down. Mud dripped out of it in thick globs. 'Oh fantastic. They're ruined.'

'Probably a good thing too.' Arnie replied. 'They did nothing for you.'

She shot him an annoyed look, and then proceeded to scoop out the rest of the mud with her hand, grimacing at the cold slimy texture. She was completely covered now – her hair was hanging in clumps, only a small amount of it still red. She finally gave up trying to clean the boot and just pulled it on. She felt the mud squelch around her toes.

'I should have brought some spare clothes.' She muttered, and then glanced at her backpack. 'Although they probably would have been ruined too.'

Arnie shook himself, sending a small spray of mud to shower over her. She barely noticed. 'Ah it's only a bit mud. Never hurt anyone. Come on then, I'm pretty sure there's another stream down here somewhere.'

Ashley was halfway getting up when she heard something. She narrowed her eyes and listened. 'Did you hear that?' she asked.

Arnie didn't even bother to listen. 'Nope. Come on. I've got a itchy spot on my back that's just begging for a scrub.'

Ashley waved her hand at him to shut up and he rolled his eyes. She listened again. 'That's someone singing.'

Arnie listened, and then gave the horse equivalent of a shrug (which was more like a shake). 'Nice for them. Now come on.'

Ashley ignored him and headed off to the right, through a mass of dense foliage. The horse snorted irritably, and then followed. He knew better than to bother complaining now, it wouldn't get him anywhere. He trotted after her, thinking more about the itch on his back than who could be singing.

As they walked on, the singing became more audible. It was a woman, and what a beautiful voice she had. It was sweet, a little too sickly sweet for Ashley's liking, but she carried on nonetheless. A little voice warned her that she should just leave it, taking the last time she had met someone out here they had tried to eat her, but travelling with the Doctor had made her into even more of a curious person. Her main objective might have been to rescue him, but she was still on a foreign planet. She had to have a look around too.

Eventually they came to a clearing. The voice was very close now. Ashley looked up to see a tall tower that seemed to reach up into the clouds. She shielded her eyes, leaving a new muddy smear on her forehead.

'How the hell did we not notice that earlier?' she asked.

Arnie was looking to the left uninterestedly. 'It's a tower. So what? There's hundreds of them out here.'

'Well there's someone in it.'

'Well done, detective. Now can we get going?'

Ashley ignored him and cupped her hands around her mouth. 'Hello?' she called.

The singing stopped. There was a moment of silence, and then a sound that could only be described as a _'squee'_. Ashley jerked at the sudden high-pitched sound, as did Arnie.

'I _knew_ you would come eventually!' a female voice squealed happily. It was high-pitched and reminded Ashley of those stereotypical thick blonde girls of the TV. 'I've been waiting for positively _months_. The birds were trying to say you were never coming, that you heroes are all the same, but I just _knew_ you would come!'

Ashley shot Arnie a bemused look. He just shrugged in response. 'Don't look at me.' He mumbled.

Ashley turned back to the tower. 'I don't think we're who you think we are. We were just passing you see and…' She trailed off as she saw something tumbling down the side of the tower. She watched in confusion and at first thought it was a rope. And then the blonde colour sparked her memory and her mouth dropped open. The thick blonde braid fell short at the bottom only by a few inches or so. Apparently it was the perfect length from the window to the ground.

Ashley looked to Arnie. 'Is that Rapunzel?'

Arnie frowned at her. 'Who?' He paused. 'Oh hang on… Oh yeah I know who you mean. Well I don't know, do I? All those braids look the same to me.'

Ashley looked back at the braid in confusion. 'Does she want me to climb up there?' She peered up the tower again, vertigo briefly washing over her.

'Apparently.' Arnie replied with a sigh. He trotted off to the side and sat down. Ashley stared at him. 'Well I can't climb up there, can I?' he frowned. 'I'm going to sit down for a bit. Bloody tiring all this walking you know.'

'I can't climb up there!' she cried.

'Are you coming up or what?' the female voice barked, more impatient.

'I can't climb up there!' she repeated for the woman at the top. 'I'm not Lara bloody Croft!'

'What kind of hero are you?' the woman yelled angrily. 'Get up here now!'

'But I-'

'_Climb it_!'

The sudden shrillness of her voice got Ashley moving forward more out of shock than anything else. She hesitated, and then grabbed the braid in both hands. She tugged on it hard, checking its strength.

'Ow!' the woman shrieked from above. 'I said climb, not pull!'

'Sorry!' Ashley replied automatically. She cast a quick, nervous glance to Arnie, but he was inspecting a passing butterfly uninterested. Ashley took a breath, and then planted one foot on the stone wall of the tower, ready to climb. By the time she stopped to ask herself why the hell she was climbing the tower in the first place, she was already halfway up.


	14. Not Much Of A Hero

**A/N: I had the weirdest dream the other night that I just have to share... I was working in a factory with Tom Baker and Richard Madely (you know, Richard and Judy? Google Richard and Judy lol) and we were sticking these gurders down onto this thing, and to stick them we had to put a toad on the place where we wanted it stuck, and then had to get this special owl to squawk at it and the toad melted into this glue, and then we stuck the gurder on. And Ian Hislop was directing the gurders, but he was drunk and they were going in the wrong places. **

**Seriously the weirdest dream I've ever had, and I dream about pink gorillas stacking up my phone bill o.O**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen **

**Not Much Of A Hero**

Whilst being dragged along the corridor by two Trolls, the Doctor had time to reflect on his current predicament. He had been in a lot worse in his time of course, but this was just getting… well, it was getting a tad irritating. He was a little achy from the blows he had received from the Troll and Janex the dwarf with a superiority complex, and he was also annoyed that he no longer had his sonic screwdriver.

Not that he needed it anyway, it was just nice to have around.

He seemed to be getting led, or dragged rather, down into the pits of the castle. Probably the dungeons or something, also he wasn't sure if castles still had dungeons these days. A lot of royalty got them converted into entertainment centres or karaoke bars. That was a point, the Doctor mused, if it had been turned into a karaoke bar maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

Of course, as always, his hopes were smashed as a heavy wooden door was opened and he was shoved into darkness. He stumbled and pin wheeled his arms, but finally managed to regain his balance and whirled around just to see the door slam shut.

'You just wait until I find that complaints box!' he yelled after them.

The Trolls trooped away without a word in response. The Doctor stood there in the darkness for a moment, blinking his eyes for them to hurry and adjust. He reached into his pocket for his sonic screwdriver and then remembered that it was no longer there. He allowed his hand to flop back to his side and sighed like a grumpy teenager.

'How am I supposed to enact a daring escape from here in the dark?' he muttered. 'Some people have no consideration…' He stopped at the sound of shuffling somewhere in the blackness. His ears pricked up and he looked around. There mustn't have been any light getting into the room as his eyes weren't adjusting at all. Although from the echo of his voice he estimated the room to be about ten meters by ten, with the ceiling about eight feet high. Decent sized dungeon really.

There was more movement and the Doctor quickly deducted that there was more than one other person in the room with him. Or thing even. Janex had implied that he was going to be fed to something. They could have at least left a light on so he could at least _see_ what he was going to be killed by.

He opened his mouth to ask who was there, hoping that it was just another captive like himself, but his words were knocked out of him along with his breath as something slammed hard into his gut. As he was thrown to the floor, he realised someone had just practically rugby tackled him to the ground. He hit the floor with an '_oof_' and groaned out at the pain that shot through his kidney.

'Feelia!' he voice barked from the darkness. 'Control yourself!'

A light suddenly shone in the Doctor's face and he shielded his eyes with his arm. He tried to squint past it to see the face of the person who had just tackled him, but they were nothing more than a bulky silhouette. Thankfully human shaped though.

'Well that's a way to say hello, isn't it?' the Doctor said cheerily. 'You wouldn't mind moving that light, would you?'

'Feelia.' A warning from the person in the darkness.

The person who was now straddling the Doctor moved the light and tentatively got up and stepped aside. The Doctor got to his feet, brushing down his suit, which had dried a little. He glanced up, already smiling broadly.

'I take it this is the Jailhouse Gang, am I right?'

There was silence from the others. The Doctor got a look at Feelia. He was a man that stood at about six and a half feet, with huge shoulders that almost rivalled the trolls. He had thick, long blonde hair that just reached his collarbones and which was matted and dirty. His face was full of sharp angular shapes, reminding the Doctor of a boxer who had seen better days. His nose was flat, almost in line with his jaw and he had a kind of sloping, Neanderthal forehead. Looking at the sheer size of the man made the Doctor wonder how he managed to get back up after being tackled. He searched for the person in the darkness, but could see no one.

'I'm the Doctor.' The Doctor smiled, pushing his hands in his pockets. 'I have to say that I've been in a lot of cells but my arresting officer was never a huge dragon.'

Feelia just looked confused. He shone the torchlight at the Doctor's chest and examined his face like a small child examining a bug that had gotten stuck on its back. It didn't take a genius to work out that he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. The other person finally stepped into the light, and the Doctor wasn't at all surprised to find that he was similarly built to Feelia, only he had thinner, slightly shorter black hair that framed quite a handsome face.

'This is Feelia,' the man replied, eyeing the Doctor warily with bright green eyes that almost seemed to shine in the darkness. 'And I'm Karl.'

'Feelia and Karl, eh?' the Doctor grinned, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. 'Nice to meet you. Well, I say nice… I mean I would rather not have met you if it meant not being in here.'

He offered his hand to both men. Karl just continued to look at him. Feelia seemed to recoil slightly. The Doctor stepped back with a shrug and pushed his hands back into his pockets.

'So,' he said, his voice bouncing off the walls and causing Feelia to flinch yet again. 'Would one of you like to fill me in on exactly what's going on around here?'

The two of them continued to look at the Doctor, but he only waited patiently for them to reply. Eventually, Feelia leaned towards Karl. 'He doesn't look much like a hero, Karl.'

'Of course!' the Doctor cried, suddenly. His loud voice caused both men to jump in alarm. The Doctor put his hands to his head. 'You're _heroes_! God I'm getting thick in my old age. _That's_ what that daft dwarf was going on about!' He seemed to involuntarily spasm as something new occurred to him, and he pointed a finger at Karl. '_Prince_ Karl?'

Karl glanced nervously to Feelia, and then straightened up. 'Yes.' He replied. 'Of course.'

The Doctor moved forward two steps and the two heroes moved back two steps. 'You've got a horse, a… a grey-ish coloured horse called Arnie, right?'

Karl frowned deeply. 'You mean Arnold. My god I've never had a worse steed in my whole life.'

The Doctor chuckled. 'I expected you to say that. He was going to help my friend and I find this place. He took a bit convincing though… And then I was kidnapped by a dragon…'

Feelia frowned in puzzlement. 'You don't look like much of a hero.' He commented. 'You're a bit… scrawny.'

The Doctor's eyebrows shot up. 'Scrawny?'

Karl crossed his thick arms. 'Feelia has a point. I've never seen you around here either. Where are you from?'

'Oh a long way a way that isn't really all that important to either of you. I think the important thing is to get out of here and go get that dragon, eh? Bet you're both itching for a go at it.'

Karl sighed, apparently giving up on his rigid, brave looking stance. His shoulders slouched. 'Well yeah sure we would. But that dwarf has out swords. We're useless without our swords.'

'Oh don't give me that.' The Doctor waved a hand. 'I'm sure we can manage without a bunch of swords.'

Feelia looked horrified. 'What? I'm not going anywhere without my sword! Karl, tell him!'

Karl rolled his eyes. 'Calm down, Feelia. For God's sake…'

The Doctor's eyes flickered between the two men and he half smiled. 'So how long have you both been down here then?'

'Hard to tell,' Karl replied. 'A day? Maybe two? There's no light so it's hard to keep track.'

'And you haven't tried to get out?'

'Why would we?' Karl frowned. 'There are about fifty Trolls on patrol around this castle. Without our swords they'll break us in two.'

'Couldn't you have just improvised?' the Doctor asked in confusion. 'I don't know, used a chair leg or something?'

Karl and Feelia exchanged puzzled glances. Feelia scratched his head through his thick hair.

'We can't fight our way out without our swords,' Karl told him. 'We can't fight with any other weapons. We haven't been trained with other weapons. We've been brought up with the same sword since childhood. We're used to the balance and the weight… the slightest change sends us off. Without our swords we're useless.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes. 'Oh well you two must be the finest heroes around, aren't you?' he grumbled sarcastically.

Feelia stepped forward angrily. 'Are you disrespecting my manhood, sir?'

Karl put a hand on one of Feelia's thick arms. 'Don't.'

The Doctor smirked. 'Disrespecting your manhood? No of course not. I wouldn't dream of it, Feelia.' He sighed. 'Okay, so you both don't have a plan at all? No kind of plan?' Karl and Feelia said nothing. The Doctor pushed his hands in his pockets. 'Fantastic.' He grumbled.

Before the conversation of plans and disrespected manhood could go on any further, footsteps could be heard on the other side of the heavy door. The three men inside stood back. Feelia flicked off the light. The door opened and in marched six Trolls.

'Right, okay,' the Doctor raised a finger to the Trolls that approached him and backed away. 'Let's just stop and have a little chat, eh? I mean, I'd love to know what you lot are doing working for a angry little dwar…' The Trolls grabbed him and began hauling him towards the doors, where Karl and Feelia were already willingly being marched out. 'At least tell me where we're going!' the Doctor insisted.

The Troll beside him made a throaty sound, and then barked, 'Feeding time.'


	15. Sugar and Spice

**A/N: Right, okay I've managed to accept that this story can't go on forever, so it's going to have to start winding down lol. I keep getting carried away and thinking up of more random fairytale type characters to add, but I have to stop that now... Anywhooo, I hope everyone's still enjoying and thanks for the reviews, you luverly people :D**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen **

**Sugar and Spice**

The climb up the blonde braid was terrifying. Four times Ashley had felt like her arms were going to give way and she was going to plummet back down the side of the tower until she smashed into the ground below. That frightening thought was the only thing that kept her adrenaline levels high enough for her to continue until finally, and thankfully, she rolled over a window ledge and landed with a _thud_ on a smooth wooden floor.

Ashley lay there with her eyes closed tightly and waiting for her racing heart to slow down. Just as she thought she was entirely relaxed, a shrill and piercing squeal cut through her and caused her heart to jump start dangerously fast again. She let out a yell of her own and attempted to prop herself up on her elbows, but her arms gave way and she thudded back down again.

'_Oh… my…Lordy_!' an impossibly high-pitched voice wailed. 'Look at my _hair_! Oh _Goodness_ it's disgusting!'

Ashley managed to turn her head and look towards the source of the deafening sound. It was a slim, perfectly figured woman standing in the centre of the round room, her perfectly porcelain hands planted on her beautiful, smooth cheeks. Her pink dress flowed down without a single offending wrinkle or crease. The waist was nipped in and on the skirt was delicate white embroidery. Above her gleaming blue eyes, her blonde hair was pulled tightly back into the braid that ran along the floor, looped twice around a wooden beam on the ceiling and out the window. Ashley stared at her for a moment.

'Do you have any idea how long it takes to wash?' the beautiful woman whined, her hands clasping together under her chin. 'Two days! Two whole days!'

Ashley managed to get to her feet unsteadily. 'I'm sorry,' she replied, slightly bewildered. 'But I uh…' She searched for a reason to why she climbed up in the first place, and still couldn't find one. 'You asked me to climb up.' She shrugged, lamely.

'Then you're going to have to wait right there mister until I've washed up. And you can wash up too. No way am I having you take me back to the palace covered in pig muck.'

Ashley frowned. 'It's not pig muck!' she insisted, and then looked down. 'At least I hope it's not…. Hang on, I'm not a mister.'

The woman looked at her for a moment, and then leaned forward and squinted as if she were trying to make out the last line on the opticians eye chart. Finally she recoiled with a screwed up nose and a delicate hand on her chest.

'Oh my _Lordy_!' she cried in disgust. 'I couldn't see through all that mud! I just thought you were one of those girly looking gentlemen.' She whirled around, her dress billowing out and she put her forearm on her forehead and leaned against the four poster bed that stood behind her. 'Oh woe is me!' she wailed dramatically. 'Here I thought my prince had finally come to rescue me!'

Ashley shifted uncomfortably on her feet. 'Sorry to disappoint.' She shrugged. 'Um… is there any chance I could just have a quick scrub while I'm here?'

The woman turned her eyes to her, but didn't move from her elaborate stance. 'Who are you?' she enquired, slowly lowering her arms and folding them over her chest.

'My name's Ashley.' Ashley replied, casting a quick glance around the room. It was packed with all sorts of things. A dressing table stood at the other side of the room past the giant four-poster bed, and there were three wardrobes standing together nearby. There was a harp, a sewing machine (quite a high-tech one that looked out of place amongst the medieval style furnishings), a tall bookshelf crammed with books that looked quite girly with their pink and lilac spines and a huge plasma TV bolted on the wall in front of a huge white leather sofa.

The woman lowered a perfectly plucked eyebrow. 'If you're not a hero, what are you doing wandering around the woods with a princes' horse?'

Ashley sighed. 'Oh it's a long and… weird story. And this is just another bloody weird chapter to add to it apparently.' She leaned against the window ledge, grateful for the support. 'I'm looking for my friend. He was taken by a dragon.'

The woman stared at her for a moment. 'And… why are you looking for him? It's a man's job to do the rescuing.'

Ashley looked at her. 'I'm sorry?'

The woman stepped forward. 'I'm Rapunzel.' She announced grandly. 'Daughter of King Horace the 98th.'

Ashley clicked her tongue thoughtfully. 'Okay. Um… about that wash…'

Rapunzel looked aghast. 'You respond correctly when I introduce myself to you.'

Ashley looked at her and blew her cheeks up in thought, not enjoying the growing awkwardness she could sense. It had obviously been a mistake to climb up here, even if there was hot water for her to get cleaned. Maybe washing in a stream with a horse wouldn't be as bad as it seemed. 'You know what? I think I might just make my way back down,' she said, standing up. 'You wouldn't mind lowering your hair back down, would you?'

Rapunzel stormed forward, her cheeks flushing pink. 'You're not going anywhere, missy. I might not like it, but you were the one who climbed up here and the rules clearly state that the person to ascend the tower is the one who must rescue the princess and return her to her Kingdom.' She paused. 'I'm not too sure about the marriage bit. I'm not really into all that if you know what I mean.'

Ashley shrugged. 'Sorry, but it was just a mistake,' she replied. 'The person I was aiming to rescue doesn't frolic around in pink dresses. At least not what I've seen.'

Rapunzel stamped her foot angrily like a spoilt child. 'I've been waiting five years for my rescue and I'm _not_ going to have it messed up by some ignorant little twit! Now you rescue me this _instant_!'

There was a space of about five seconds in which Ashley could do nothing but stare at the fully-grown woman throwing a full-blown hissy fit in front of her. Finally, she found her voice. 'Twit?'

Rapunzel began to gather her hair up. 'You're not going anywhere without me.' She huffed, wrapping the long braid around her arm. 'This is the most important day of my life!'

Ashley just watched in dumb silence as the princess gathered up the whole braid and then stomped across the room and sat down at the dressing table with her back to her. Ashley leaned out the window and peered out, and was only just able to make out Arnie lying on the grass at the bottom. He was probably enjoying the peace and quiet.

'Okay, so by rescuing you just mean getting you out the tower right? You could make your own way back on your own.'

Rapunzel whirled around. 'You have to take me back to my Kingdom! And then my father will knight you for your bravery and then there'll be a big party where we will dance in front of everyone and then…' She paused. 'Well there's _supposed_ to be a wedding, but I suppose that will just have to wait.'

'Sorry, no can do.' Ashley shrugged her shoulders. 'I don't have time for that. I can help you get out, but that's probably going to be the end of it.'

Rapunzel stood again and stomped her foot twice. 'That will _not be the end of it_!' she screamed, making Ashley flinch. '_You will do as I say you peasant! You will rescue me and we'll dance and everyone will look at me and admire me and love me and…_'

'For God's sake shut the hell up!' Ashley cried, the high-pitched sound of the princesses screams giving her a headache. 'Christ whoever locked you up here had a damn good reason too!'

Rapunzel stood silently, gaping at Ashley in shock of being interrupted in such a manner.

'Now look you stuck up cow,' Ashley continued, advancing on her with a stuck out finger. 'You wanted me to climb up here so I bloody well did. Still can't figure out why I bothered… But I'm having one hell of a bad day what with losing my friend, and then being lumbered with a pain in the arse horse, and then almost eaten by an old woman, and then nearly drowning in the Bog of Eternal Stench so the last bloody thing I need is to be getting yelled at by some reject from the Disney Princesses Club!'

There was a moment where neither of them said anything, and then a sharp slapping sound cut through the silence. Ashley felt the stinging on her cheek before she realised what had happened. Then she realised that Rapunzel had just slapped her across the face. Now it was her turn to stand in a shocked silence.

Rapunzel put her hand on her chest and moved her head back. 'Well I have _never_ _ever_ been spoke to like _that_ in my entire _life_!' she breathed dramatically.

Ashley blinked. 'Did you just bitch slap me?' she cried in disbelief.

Rapunzel moved away, shaking the hand that had just struck Ashley's cheek. 'Now you'll have to get cleaned up. I'll be a laughing stock if we get to the Kingdom with you looking like that. I'm sure I'll have some clothes for you somewhere… _Owweeee!_'

The squeal had been caused by Ashley tugging hard on Rapunzel's braid. Rapunzel whirled around and slapped at Ashley like a little Yorkshire terrier, head moved back and face scrunched up. Ashley had never been able to cope with girly attacks like that, so she recoiled with her arms up in defence. She allowed one foot to kick out, mostly in shame of being repeatedly bitch slapped by a Barbie wannabe, and her toes struck Rapunzel's shin. The princess cried out and grabbed her leg, hopping backwards.

'_Owee owee oww!_' she wailed, leaning against the back wall. 'You just broke my leg!'

Ashley managed to regain her composure and smoothed down her dirty hair. 'That's what you get for slapping me.' She replied.

'I can slap who I like!' Rapunzel wailed. 'I'm a Princess!'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Look, I tell you what. I'll clean up, then we'll climb down, and Arnie can take you back home. I can't, right? I'm busy.'

The princess sniffed, wiping her nose. 'You're so _mean_.' She whimpered.

'So is that a deal?' Ashley asked, resting one hand on her hip.

Rapunzel stood for a moment, gasping for breath the way children did when they had just been told they couldn't have any more cake, and then nodded with an overly dramatic whimper. 'If… If it means you won't kick me again.'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'That's because you slapped me. Don't slap me again and I won't kick you again. Fair?'

Rapunzel nodded, and then sniffed loudly. She took a moment, and then turned. Her upset suddenly vanished and she pointed to a part of the room that was cornered off from the rest of the room. 'I have a huge bath and lots of nice smelling things. Could I wash your hair? I'd love to wash short hair. It's awful washing mine all the time.'

Ashley blinked, and then shrugged. 'Um, okay.'

Rapunzel clapped her hands and let out a excited squeak, before grabbing Ashley's hand and pulling her towards the bathroom area. 'Oh this is going to be so fun! I haven't had any girl friends around for _months_!'

Ashley followed reluctantly, again wondering if it wouldn't be better if she just washed with Arnie in a stream.


	16. For Honour

**A/N: You know, after all that whining and moaning that I wouldn't be able to do thirteen episodes, it turns out that I might be able to lol! This is what, episode 10? I have a definate idea for 11 and 13, so I'm pretty sure I can slap together one more for 12 lol. (-totally jinxed self-)**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**For Honour**

For the third time the Doctor was launched roughly into another dark room. The first few times it had been irritating; now it was downright infuriating. Karl and Feelia were shoved in behind him, despite the fact that they had walked down without any trouble. The door instantly slammed behind them and Feelia pulled out the torch again. The Doctor took it without a word and flicked it on.

'Let's see where they've stuck us now,' he mused, shining the torchlight around.

It was hard to make out exactly what was around them, but again judging by the echo of his voice the Doctor estimated that the room they were in was a lot bigger than the last one. The ceiling was higher and they were actually a little further underground. Perhaps half a mile from the surface. The light showed a rough textured ceiling that had obviously been dug out and was supported by unstable looking wooden beams. Water dripped somewhere in the blackness. The most alarming thing was the sudden drop in temperature.

'Well this is it.' Karl sighed. 'I suppose I've lived a rich life.'

Feelia glowered into the darkness. 'I should have my sword.' He grumbled.

The Doctor looked around at them in annoyance. 'You two!' he cried in exasperation. 'What is it with you two? Take your swords off you and you go sulking in the corner like a pair of kids! If you're the kind of heroes that are getting churned out these days then no wonder Fanallasoratia has gone under.'

Feelia stormed forward angrily. 'We're the best!' he snarled.

'Yeah, the best at being sulky little kids.' The Doctor muttered, shining the torch around.

Feelia made a grab for the Doctor but Karl shoved him back. 'Feelia.' He warned.

Feelia grimaced in irritation and then looked away, scratching distractedly at his stomach. Karl stepped up to the Doctor, who had hunched down and was shining the torch along the cold stone floor thoughtfully.

'I don't know who you are,' Karl said, straightening up and making himself look bigger across the shoulders. 'But you seem to have strange expectations. We are the best heroes in the land, and we don't appreciate being told otherwise. But the fact is that we have lost our weapons and we can't go on without them.'

'Pfft.' The Doctor replied, still examining the floor.

Karl scowled and clenched his huge fists. 'Okay then, sir. I challenge you.'

The Doctor glanced up at him briefly, and then took a double take and shone the light at him. 'Excuse me?'

'We'll see who is the better man.' Karl answered, taking a step back.

The Doctor stood up and stared at him incredulously for a moment. '_What_?' he demanded, astonished. 'We're about to be fed to something and _you_ want to have a fight? This is exactly what I'm talking about! None of you have any _focus_! You don't know your priorities!' He sighed and rubbed his head. 'I'd be better off stuck in here with a pair of sunflowers.'

Karl stepped forward quickly. 'If you do not accept my challenge then I'll have won by default.'

'Fine, fine,' the Doctor replied, hunkering back down to shine the light across the floor. 'If that's what you want, fine. You win. Better man, congratulations blah, blah, blah.'

'As the loser you have to die.' Karl reminded him.

The Doctor stood up and sighed. 'Oh come _on_! I mean really! Is this not a bad enough situation for me to be in? Why is it that everyone I meet wants me dead?'

Feelia moved forward quickly. 'Let me do it, Karl. I've been dying to ever since he insulted my manhood.'

'How did I insult your manhood!?' the Doctor cried. 'You're the biggest pair of neurotics that I've ever met in my whole life! And that's saying something! Now pack it in and help me think of a way of getting out of here!' He paused. 'Well not so much the thinking… Just shut up while I think please!'

Karl and Feelia stared at him for a moment, and then glanced to each other. Feelia frowned in thought, and then looked back to the Doctor and scratched his head.

'What's a… a new-rock-tick?' he asked.

The Doctor groaned and hit himself on the head with the torch. 'You know what?' he sighed. 'It's nothing. Nothing important. You're right, we're done for. Might as well admit it.'

Karl held up a finger suddenly and glanced to the right. 'Wait… I hear something.' he murmured.

'Don't worry, that's just the sound of the last of my sanity clawing out through the ceiling.' The Doctor muttered.

To his dismay, Feelia looked up and squinted at the ceiling. Thankfully Karl wasn't quite that stupid and held up his finger to silence them. They all listened. Then they heard it.

It was only slight at first, but unmistakable. It was a snort. A deep snort from a big creature. With the snort was a rush of cold air. The Doctor gritted his teeth, knowing exactly what it was. But then it struck him that the room wasn't big enough for the dragon. It would barely be able to fit its shoulders in here. So if it wasn't the big dragon…

The was a shuffle and a snort from the other side of the room. The Doctor began to back up slowly.

'There's more than one.' He informed the other two. 'Possibly three. One each.'

Karl and Feelia stood their ground, squinting into the darkness. The Doctor slowly moved for the door, seeing as so far it was their only exit. Before he reached it, however, he felt an icy blast from his right. He stopped, shivered, and then slowly turned the torchlight around.

The triangular head lit up with the light, the rest of it concealed in the gloom. Its head was about the size of the Doctor's torso, with sharp teeth that protruded over its bottom jaw. Its almond shaped eyes stared closely at the Doctor and it snarled. A ruffling sound came from it as it shuddered – it was the sound of its scales clicking together. It snorted. It was like someone had just stuck a bag of frozen peas in his face.

'So that's where we are,' the Doctor said, risking a glance to the others. Two more of the small dragons were creeping out of the gloom towards the two heroes. The Doctor swallowed. 'We're in the nursery.'


	17. Preparing for the Descent

**A/N: I would have updated sooner but I'm proper stressed because my NEW washing machine has just broken. It's filling up with water like the old one was so not only can I not do any washing I've realised that there was nothing wrong with my old washer after all, and that it's the pipes that are the problem, and I could have saved myself a hundred quid. Safe to say I'm not frickin' best pleased. That's my mini-rant over.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Preparing For The Descent**

'Ow! Hey, will you watch it!'

Ashley turned her head and glowered at Rapunzel, but the princess only grabbed her head and turned it to its original position.

'It's not my fault that your hair is riddled with knots.' She snorted, once again running the wide brush through Ashley's wet red hair. It caught on a few more knots, making Ashley hiss in pain. 'Don't you ever brush your hair?'

'I'll have you know,' Ashley replied irritably. 'That I've had a bit of a rough month.'

Rapunzel exhaled through her nostrils. 'Fair enough.' She said uninterestedly. 'Are you sure you just want to wear those… _trousers_? I have lots of skirts…'

'I don't think trekking through the Dark Woods will be much fun in a skirt.' Ashley replied. She glanced at her watch, and then remembered that she wasn't even wearing one and sighed heavily. 'How long have I been here?'

'About an hour.' Rapunzel smiled, and then went on to attack a knot in the back of Ashley's hair.

A pang of irritation rushed through Ashley. For the past hour she had put up with the princesses incessant whinings and yammerings about her perfect day and how it was now ruined by the arrival of some ignorant _girl_. The ignorant girl had allowed Rapunzel to wash her hair and fuss over her nails and try and get her to dress like a princess but now… Now it was getting ridiculous. Now she really needed to go. Ashley turned and snatched the brush from Rapunzel and hurled it across the room.

'Right, that's it.' She fumed, whirling around on the surprised princess. 'I can't be arsed with this anymore. I have to get going, okay? Arnie's probably left by now.'

Rapunzel looked at her for a moment, and then planted her hands on her slender hips. 'Well there's no need to throw a tantrum about it. You could have just said.'

Ashley stared at her for a moment, silently seething and wondering how high pitched the princess would go if she set her hair on fire. She decided that thought was a bit psycho and pushed it away, although it still lingered at the back of her mind. 'Right then.' She glanced around. 'Where's the door out of this place?'

Rapunzel looked at her in bewilderment. 'Door?'

'You know, the wooden thing with the handle on it. You push it and you enter another room. Some of them lead outside, or to stairs, which is the kind of door we're looking for right now.'

'Don't be sarcastic.'

'I'm surprised you even know what sarcasm is. So where is it?'

Rapunzel blinked. 'There's no doors.'

Ashley blinked back at her. 'What do you mean there's no doors? Of course there are doors. How the hell did you get in?'

Rapunzel scratched her head. 'This is a tower.'

'Well done, Columbo.'

'They seal up as soon as the princess is inside,' Rapunzel explained. 'Don't you think that if there was a door I would have just walked out of it?'

Ashley eyed her. 'I don't know, you are a bit dense.'

Rapunzel narrowed her eyes. 'The only way out is back through the window. That's why I need rescuing. A good hero arrives with a plan.'

Ashley glanced to the window thoughtfully, and then back at Rapunzel. 'So… We have to climb back down?'

Rapunzel crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. 'A good hero arrives with a plan.' She repeated.

'Yeah, yeah I heard you the first time.' Ashley wandered to the window and peered out. The air was chilly and it made her shiver. The fact her hair was wet didn't help matters much. She had forgotten how far down it was and her stomach lurched a little. She turned back to Rapunzel nervously. 'Don't you have a ladder or something?'

Rapunzel only glowered back at her in annoyance.

'Right, okay.' Ashley tapped her bottom lip thoughtfully and stared down at the floor. 'Okay… no doors, no ladder. Christ this is like those mental riddle things. The Doctor would have an answer right away.'

Rapunzel's mouth dropped open. 'What did you just say?'

Ashley glanced back up at her. 'Hmm? Oh, those weird questions. You know, like, um… There's a man lying dead in a field and he has an unopened package beside him and there's no one around for miles in either direction, how did he die? You know, that kind of thing.'

'No! The name!' Rapunzel cried. 'Who did you say?'

Ashley looked at her for a moment, and then remembered the Doctor mentioning Rapunzel when they had first landed. He hadn't said anymore about it, but it had sparked Ashley's interest. Ashley smirked. 'The Doctor. You know him?'

Rapunzel's hands shot up to either side of her face and she let out a squeal. 'Yes I know the Doctor!' she almost screamed. 'I know that… that self-centred, arrogant, stupid haired… _idiot_!'

Ashley raised her eyebrows. 'Well that sounds about right…'

'He was the last person up here!' Rapunzel went on, storming backwards and forwards. 'He came in, acting all heroic and high and mighty. He said he was sight seeing and that he could never resist a sealed tower! So he said he would rescue me in his big blue box thing… It landed right there!' She pointed dramatically at a spot in the corner that would probably comfortably fit the TARDIS. 'So I told him the rules, that he had to take me back to my kingdom so we could get married, and he said he needed to get something out of his box and the next minute he was gone! The box just _vanished_!'

Ashley couldn't stop the grin that was spreading on her face. 'Oh he's sneaky. But he had the right idea.'

Rapunzel stamped her foot angrily, causing a small wooden doll to topple off the desk behind her. 'He _abandoned me_! The day before our wedding!'

'Did he actually agree to any wedding? Because the Doctor doesn't really strike me as the marrying kind…'

'He agreed to it as soon as he agreed to save me! It doesn't count for you though because I'm not marrying a girl.' Rapunzel crossed her arms stubbornly and stuck out her pet lip. She stood there angrily for a moment, and then glanced inquiringly at Ashley. 'It's the Doctor you're going to find, right?'

Ashley nodded, knowing where this was going.

'Well I'm coming with you.' Rapunzel decided. 'I want to give him a piece of my mind.'

Ashley winced. 'Ah, well… you see, I don't think that would be a very good idea. Because… well, it's dangerous. And… I don't want you to.'

Rapunzel glared at her. 'I'm coming whether you like it or not.'

Ashley laughed and shook her head. 'No. You're not.'

'I'll scream.'

'Scream all you want, you're still not comi-'

Rapunzel cut her off with a scream that was shrill enough to smash glass. Ashley cried out and shot her hands to her ears. It felt like her brain was shrivelling up. Her scalp crawled and her eyes felt like they were going to pop out. Rapunzel's face was bright red and her lips were pulled back with her war cry. Ashley raised her hands, trying to protect herself from the sound waves.

'Okay!' she yelled over the racket. 'Okay okay! Just stop it!'

Rapunzel stopped and crossed her arms triumphantly. 'So I'm coming?'

Ashley stung her finger in her ear and wiggled it around, trying to stop the ringing. 'Yes, yes fine. Just don't do that again please.'

'I won't, as long as you don't try to tell me what I can and can't do.'

Ashley sighed, deciding that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by climbing the tower. She opened her mouth to try and talk Rapunzel out of it, but then her eyes fell upon Rapunzel's hair. She stopped, and smiled.

'What?' Rapunzel asked nervously.

'I climbed up your hair to get up here,' Ashley said. 'So we'll just climb it back down.'

Rapunzel frowned. 'What?'

'I'm pretty sure that's how the story goes anyway.' She moved to the dressing table and snatched up a pair of scissors. 'If we just cut the braid off, we can tie it up here and climb down it!'

Rapunzel looked horrified. She gripped onto her hair tightly. 'As if I'm going to let _you_ cut my hair!' she wailed. 'I want a professional to do it!'

'You want to get out of here, don't you?' Ashley said with a smile. 'It'll take a second. Lop it off and we can climb down.' She snipped the scissors twice. 'Snip snip.'

'No.' Rapunzel scowled. 'Think of another way.'

'There is no other way.' Ashley frowned, moving forward. 'Now keep still.'

'No!' Rapunzel wailed, backing away. 'You can't cut my beautiful hair! You _can't_!'

Ashley picked up the braid that was trailing on the floor, and before Rapunzel could yank it out of her hands, she cut the braid in half. The room fell silent.

'Right then,' Ashley sighed, putting the scissors aside. 'If we just tie it on one of those beams we can climb down and…' She trailed off, looking towards the deathly silent Rapunzel.

The princess's braid only went to her waist now and she was staring down at the rest of it in shock. Her eyes were welling up. Her bottom lip began to quiver. Ashley felt a pang of dread.

'Oh no, no don't-'

'_My haaaaaiir!_' Rapunzel wailed. 'My beautiful hair!' She burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.

Ashley stood awkwardly, holding the severed braid in her hands. 'It's okay. It'll grow back.'

Rapunzel stood sobbing. 'You're… so… _mean!_' she wailed between gasping for air.

'I'm sorry, but it was the only way for us to get down.'

Rapunzel struggled to regain her composure. 'I know… I know.' She sniffed loudly. 'I'm okay.'

Ashley watched her. 'You sure?'

Rapunzel made a dramatic scene out of wiping her eyes. 'Yes, yes I'm fine.'

Ashley nodded. 'Right then.' She moved to the wooden beams and began to tie one end of the braid to it. Once it was tied, she swung on it to test the weight. It held. For now anyway. She turned back to Rapunzel. 'Have you ever climbed before?'

Rapunzel shook her head. 'No.'

Ashley tossed the braid out of the window and watched it fall to the bottom. She sighed heavily. 'Well this is going to be fun then.'


	18. Fluke

**A/N: Lol I bet everyone who gets an alert will be like WTF?! This kind of died on its arse for a while, but I managed to piece together this atrocious chapter. Well, I managed to piece it together while my freakin internet was off. My line got terminated because we didn't pay our phonebill lol! So to everyone who was waiting for me to beta stuff and people who PMd me I wasn't being a cock and ignoring you, I was sitting in the corner seething because I couldn't get online. But hopefully everything shall be back to normal and I'll get this story finished. Hopefully.**

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**Chapter Eighteen**

**Fluke**

As he looked into the face of the hissing young dragon, the Doctor ran through as many plans as his brain could think of. Not one of them was usable, and a few of them were just downright ridiculous. Where the hell was he supposed to get toothpicks from anyway? Sometimes being resourceful had its downsides.

It didn't surprise him that Feelia was already swinging his fists at the dragon that was approaching him. It dodged him and hissed in annoyance. Feelia was yelling all kinds of insults at it. Karl was ready for his dragon to attack, but he wasn't making the first move like his foolish companion was. The Doctor wasn't going to attack his dragon, and he wouldn't be prepared for it attacking him either.

'Okay,' he breathed. 'Right. Dragons… dragonsdragonsdragons…' He mused over his knowledge of the creatures and then sighed heavily when he realised the knowledge he had was quite trivial. 'I wish I'd paid attention to those documentaries on the TV…'

The dragon in front of him ducked its head, and took a step forward. The Doctor held up a hand. 'Whoa there, nelly,' he said to it with raised eyebrows. 'Not so close.'

At the sound of his voice, the dragon hesitated. The Doctor leapt on this opportunity, seeing as it was probably the only one he would have before he was ripped to shreds.

'What are the three of you doing in here, eh? Look at you, you're only babies. Where's your mum, eh? Bet she wouldn't be happy with you locked up down here with your brother and sister.' The Doctor glanced around at the two heroes before continuing. 'You're not going to get much of a meal out of us three you know. I'm all bones and those two… those two are just gristle and… and fresh air probably.'

The dragon hissed once, but made no attempt to advance on him any more. If anything, it just looked confused. It probably had been expecting the Doctor to have the same reaction to it that Feelia had. One of the few things he knew about dragons was that they tended not to attack unless threatened or extremely hungry.

'Feelia, leave it.' The Doctor called over his shoulder, not taking his eyes from the dragon in front of him.

'It is my birthright to destroy this creature!' Feelia called back. 'I shall try to defeat it even if it kills me!'

The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Okay fine, if you two have death wishes that's fine by me, but don't drag me down with you.' While he spoke, the torch waved in his hand. The dragon's attention was drawn to the light, like a cat was drawn to the reflection of a watch on the wall. The Doctor considered this for a moment, before taking the light from the creature and shining it against the back wall. The dragon released a strange, low growling sound and then dived towards the circle of light, scratting at it with its large claws. The Doctor chuckled with delight.

'What in the King's name are you doing?' Karl demanded in bewilderment.

Grinning, the Doctor glanced back to him. 'It's just a baby!' he exclaimed. 'It just wants to play.' He waved the light around and the dragon scrabbled around, desperately trying to catch it. 'Aw isn't it cute?'

A thump and a growl caught his attention and he looked around to see Feelia holding a long white stick, waving it threateningly in front of the dragon's face. Its teeth were bared and clouds of steam were puffing out of its nostrils. Feelia hopped from foot to foot, and then solidly whacked the dragon on its head for the second time.

'Feelia!' the Doctor cried. 'Throw the stick!'

Feelia turned and looked at him in confusion. 'It's not a stick. It's a bone.'

The Doctor blinked, then gritted his teeth. 'I don't care what it is, just throw it!'

'But it's my weapon!'

'Throw the bloody bone, Feelia!'

Feelia frowned deeply and turned back to the growling creature. It's head ducked downwards, obviously ready to lunge at him. He pulled back the bone, ready to strike it again.

'Feelia, do as the man says.' Karl ordered.

Feelia looked to him in disappointment. Apparently Karl had to be obeyed and with an irritated snort, Feelia tossed the bone away into the darkness. To his surprise, the dragon let out a strange, dog-like yelp and scampered off after the bone. The dragon standing toe to toe with Karl was watching the other two dragons, the prince in front of it forgotten. It hesitated, and then frolicked off after Feelia's dragon.

'Right,' the Doctor breathed. 'That should keep them occupied for a minute or two. Now… we need an escape route.'

Karl scratched his chin. 'If this is the fifteenth dungeon on the west side, which I'm quite positive that it is, then there should be a sewage outlet towards the back somewhere, leading out to one of the valleys.'

The Doctor frowned. 'How could you possibly know that?'

Karl shrugged. 'It's a hero's duty to know the layout and escape routes of all the castles in the land.' He replied. 'I think there may be… about five different ways out of this room. The sewage is the safest, I believe.'

The Doctor gaped at him. 'You mean to say… in the room we were in before you knew how to get out? I thought you were thick to start with but this is just…' He stopped himself and sighed. 'Right, okay. Sewage pipe it is, and it wouldn't be the first time I've said that.'

Feelia and Karl looked at him questioningly. He shook his head and waved a dismissive hand at them. In the darkness, the two dragons were snarling and squabbling over the thrown bone. The third dragon was still attacking the shuddering spot of light on the wall.

'Which way?' the Doctor asked.

Karl glanced around, and then pointed to the far end. 'It should be over there.'

The Doctor nodded, knowing they needed the torch to get out. Before they could make a move to the pipe, he had to distract the dragon with something else. 'You two go find the pipe.' He told the two stocky heroes. 'I'm going to need a direct run there because these three will probably see me as another game.'

'But they're distracted.' Karl replied. 'They shouldn't notice.'

The Doctor sighed heavily. 'Can you just do it please? Why does everyone have to question everything I say? Can't someone just trust my word for once? It's all 'But Doctor' this and 'Why Doctor' that. Just get on with it, will you?'

The two heroes stiffened, like they were about to accuse him of once again disrespecting their manhood, but Karl relaxed. He slapped Feelia on one of his swollen biceps and nodded for him to follow. Reluctantly, Feelia did so.

The wait for them to confirm the whereabouts of the exit seemed to take a long time, and for a few apprehensive moments he thought the two of them had left without him. But finally, he heard Karl's low voice.

'Over here.' He said. 'There's a grate over the hole, but we can easily pull it off.'

The Doctor nodded, relieved. 'Wait a moment before you do, because the noise will probably-' He was interrupted by the loud, echoing sound of metal scraping on stone. Immediately the dragon who had been playing with the light spot whirled around, wings shooting out like an umbrella. Its mouth opened and it bellowed loudly at the Doctor. Similar sounds rippled from the darkness, signalling that the two others had also had the same reaction.

The Doctor spun on his heels and raced towards the two bickering heroes. He could hear the claws of the creatures scraping on the stone floor, not very far behind at all. Karl and Feelia appeared in the line of the torch, both holding a large, heavy looking grate between them. They looked around in alarm, saw the Doctor racing towards them and instinctively dropped the grate and fled through the hole. The Doctor dived in after them, feeling icy fingers of cold air curl around the back of his neck. The air was disturbed just behind his legs. The dragon's huge claw had missed him by millimetres.

The metal grate caught his foot and he went head over tail and landed in something cold, slimy and putrid. He rolled over quickly and shone the torch to the entrance of the hole, to see one of the dragons peering in at him. Its lips curled back as it snarled, but it made no attempt to follow. The reason for that being there was no way that it could fit.

'There,' the Doctor breathed. 'That wasn't so bad, was it?'

The three men had to squat in the hole as it was only about four feet high. Feelia practically filled the whole thing. The Doctor leaned to shine the torch past the two of them, ignoring the angry growls of the dragons behind him.

'How far is it?' he asked Karl.

'About two miles.' Karl replied. 'We should come out just on the edge of the Dark Woods.'

The Doctor clicked his tongue. 'So I take it we'll have to turn around and walk two miles again to get back to the castle. Talk about inconvenient.'

'Wait,' Feelia frowned, trying to make himself more comfortable and failing. 'You mean to say we're coming back?'

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 'Of course we are. You didn't think we were all going to go home and have a nice cup of tea, did you? That awful little dwarf has my sonic screwdriver! I'm not going anywhere without that.'

Karl nodded. 'And I would like to retrieve my sword.'

'And don't forget the whole stopping the evil dwarf thing.' The Doctor added.

'Yes,' Feelia agreed. 'I would like to slay him.'

'Now whoa there,' the Doctor frowned. 'There's going to be no slaying while I'm around, okay? No slaying, no slaughtering, no decapitating, dismembering, dissecting and not even a little bit of scraping. Got that, Thor?'

'I don't like those rules.' Karl frowned.

'Well get used to them.' The Doctor replied. 'Because from here on in, I'm in charge. Now get a move on. There's something moving in my shoe.'


	19. Relevant Attire

**A/N: Holy crap, what's the deal with this new uploading milarky!? It's left me completely baffled. I want the old way back :(**

**Oooh! Anyone who likes this story should go out and buy 'Snow White and the Seven Samurai' by Tom Holt. I bought it last week and seriously... man people will think I completely stole the idea! It's even got a werewolf old lady in a cottage! And Rapunzel has an uzi! Seriously though, it's an epic book. Really funny. Buy it. (i should get royalties for plugging lol)

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**Chapter Nineteen**

**Relevant Attire**

'The grass is _wet_. The hem of my dress is going to be positively _ruined_.'

Ashley was still recovering from her near strangulation. She had practically squeezed the life out of her on the way down, and the only reason that the princess had loosened her grip was because Ashley informed her that if she passed out due to lack of oxygen on the way down, they were both likely to die. Finally they reached the bottom and it didn't take long for the complaining to start.

'You could have told me what the weather was like,' Rapunzel sulked, trying to gather up her dress so it wouldn't skim the dewy grass. 'I could have dressed accordingly.'

'I did turn up covered in wet mud,' Ashley croaked, still rubbing her reddened throat. 'That could have given you some clues.' She glanced around and sighed. 'Well it looks like Arnie finally wandered off, which means I have no idea how to get to the castle.'

'Poppycock,' Rapunzel snapped. 'Where could he have gone? He won't be far at all.' She took in a breath, and the noise that left her lips next caused a flock of birds to take off from the surrounding trees in panic. '_Coooo-eeee_!'

Ashley clamped her hands over her ears and cried out. 'Holy Christ!' she cried. 'Only dogs should have been able to hear that!'

Rapunzel sneered at her. 'That'll be why you could hear it then.'

Ashley narrowed her eyes and was about to fire back when there was some disturbance in the foliage to her right. She looked around, not bothering to rise from the rock she sat on, and watched as Arnie galloped through the bushes and skidded to a halt in the clearing.

'Ooooh!' Rapunzel squealed in admiration. 'Isn't he lovely?'

Arnie took a moment to regard the two females, and then straightened his neck and stuck out his chest proudly. 'Why yes. Yes I am.'

Ashley stood up, frowning. 'Where the hell were you?' she demanded.

Arnie's jaw dropped and he rolled his large eyes. 'Oh yeah, I go and stretch my legs for five minutes and that's frickin' sacrilege, but it's okay for you to flounce around in a princesses tower getting your hair straightened.'

'She wouldn't let me straighten her hair.' Rapunzel said, as if it were of major importance. 'She's a bit moody actually.'

Ashley breathed out heavily through her nose. If she had been an ice dragon, everything within a five-mile radius would have frozen solid. 'Can we get going now? I think we've wasted enough time.'

'Well if I remember rightly,' Arnie said, cocking his head smugly. 'It was you who insisted stopping to see what the tower was all about. I reckon that if you had just listened to me we would probably be there by now.'

Ashley shot him an angry stare. 'Thanks for that, Arnie,' she replied. 'That helped so much.'

Rapunzel strode towards Arnie, her head held high and her dress gathered up in her hands. Arnie watched her dubiously, and then quickly trotted out of her way when he realised she was going to mount him.

'What do you think you're doing, missy?' he demanded. 'I'm here for directions, not bloody transport.'

Rapunzel stared at him. 'Ahem… _missy_? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?'

Arnie snorted. 'Someone with their panty-hose pulled up too far apparently. I couldn't care less who you are, I'm rider free on this adventure. You should have got yourself some appropriate footwear, 'cos it's going to be a bit of a hike.'

Ashley watched worriedly, knowing that the princess was not going to react very well. There was a moment where everything was silent; the birds stopped singing, the air fell still. The calm before the storm, if you will.

'I'm Princess Rapunzel.' Rapunzel informed the horse. 'And I order you to carry me.'

'Lose yourself twenty pounds and we'll chat, love.' Arnie replied nastily.

Rapunzel's mouth dropped open. 'My _God_!' she exclaimed. 'What sort of rescue duo _are _you both?!' She looked around to Ashley, who shrugged in response. 'First off she isn't even a _man_ and you!' She glared at Arnie angrily. 'I'm going to have you made into dog food when all this is over.'

Arnie sneered back at her. 'Is that what you eat for breakfast, eh? I thought I could smell something on your breath.'

Ashley sighed heavily and stepped between them before Rapunzel had a chance to launch an ear-splitting attack. 'This is getting us nowhere,' she told them. 'We need to get moving. Can't you just walk, Rapunzel? And is there a shorter version of your name because that's going to get old real fast.'

'You call me by my name.' Rapunzel hissed. 'You're lucky I don't make you address me by my full name and title.'

'What's that then?' Arnie asked in a light, slightly mocking tone. 'Princess Rapunzel Wide-Hide the First?'

'Dog food!' Rapunzel snarled at the horse. 'And I'm going to make sure you're still alive when they toss you in the grinder!'

'Right, that's it.' Ashley sighed, turning away. 'I've had enough of this. I don't need either of you, I'll find the bloody castle on my own.' She began to head off and waved over her shoulder at them. 'Toodles. I wish I'd never met either of you.'

'Wait.' Rapunzel sighed resting both hands on her hips. 'It's suicide to go up to that castle without any protection.'

Ashley stopped and turned back to them, intrigued by the comment. 'Okay then. So what do you propose we do? Tie one of your stilettos to a stick?'

Rapunzel ignored her. 'I have equipment in my cupboard.' She stated, pausing to pick something out from beneath one perfectly manicured nail. 'Armour, swords; that kind of thing. They would probably come in handy.'

Ashley stared at her. 'And you didn't think to mention this while we were up there?'

Rapunzel cocked an eyebrow. 'Well I thought I would be on the back of a horse the whole time. You know, sitting off to the side while we watched you run to your death.'

Arnie nodded appreciatively. 'I like that idea. Can we just do that?'

Ashley rubbed her forehead. 'But that means climbing all the way back up that bloody plait and…' She trailed off as she looked towards the tower and noticed something drastically different. Just to the right of the dangling braid, there was a beautiful, quaint oak door. Flowers and various cute woodland animals were carved into it, and there was a gleaming brass doorknob in the centre of it. She blinked at it for a moment, and then looked back to the princess. 'Tell me that wasn't always there.'

Rapunzel sighed. 'You really know nothing about this place, do you?'

Arnie snorted. 'You have no idea,' he told her. 'She went banging on the big bad wolf's door earlier. Nearly got herself eaten. And she sat chatting to a sodding tree for God knows how long.'

Rapunzel shook her head. 'Are you even from this planet?'

Ashley shrugged. 'Well actually…'

'Whatever,' Rapunzel interrupted. 'Once the princess is safely out of the tower the door reappears, along with the staircase. Now you can go up, get the stuff and bring it back down again, without the aid of my… my hair.' She looked briefly sorrowed at the mention of it.

Ashley peered up at the tower. Even with stairs it looked like a hell of a trek. 'Do you think we'll even need armour and stuff? The Doctor will probably be around somewhere and I don't think he'd really approve of swords and-'

'Oh for crying out loud!' Rapunzel wailed. 'You're never happy! Just go up and get the bloody swords. And while you're there get me my dark green leggings and my white casual shirt. There should be a dark green beret style hat in there somewhere also. And a pair of white flat shoes.'

Ashley frowned. 'Get them yourself.'

Rapunzel sighed again, this exhale almost harsh enough to blow down the tower in a way that would make the big bad wolf proud. 'If I go back in there the tower will seal up.'

Ashley considered this for a moment, and realised that it made sense. She nodded, reluctantly, and approached the tower. 'Right. Well if those clothes aren't at hand I'm just going to grab anything, you hear me? I'm not raking around for ages.' She pushed open the door, which opened easily. 'And we're leaving as soon as I get back, okay? No more setbacks.'

She passed through the doorway and mounted the steps. She heard the door click shut behind her and instinctively glanced back. She stared glumly at the patch of wall where the door had been just a moment ago, and breathed out heavily in exasperation.


	20. Flying Solo

**A/N: This one is getting really long. I need to wrap it up soon... it'll be probably be finished by chapter 26. Or chapter 106.  


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**Chapter Twenty**

**Flying Solo**

Ashley sat on the stone step with her head in her hands and wondered why she had suddenly become the unluckiest person in the world. If it wasn't bad enough that she had lost the Doctor – who could be dead for all she knew – she had to get lumbered with an argumentative horse, almost get eaten by a Big Bad Werewolf, almost drown in the Bog of Eternal Stench, have her hair brushed by a Barbie Princess… She wondered if the blonde braid would serve as a good noose. It probably would, but she quickly decided that that wasn't really the best way to solve her problems.

With an overly dramatic sigh, she hauled herself to her feet and turned towards the spiralling stone staircase. She looked up, and groaned. It was going to take forever to walk up there.

'When I find you Doctor,' she muttered as she started her ascent. 'You're never leaving my side again.'

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'When we get out of here,' the Doctor grumbled, wrist deep in sewage. 'I hope I never see you again.'

The two heroes leading the way grunted in agreement. They had been crawling through the vile muck for about twenty minutes. The Doctor knew this even though he wasn't wearing a watch as he had been counting the seconds. He couldn't believe that the whole situation had resorted to this. His suit was going to be completely ruined now.

'Not far now.' Karl grunted from ahead. 'We should see some light soon.'

'How did you two get into this business anyway?' the Doctor asked, pausing to flick something thick and slimy from his fingers. 'Are you born into it or something?'

'Well it was either this or blacksmith work.' Karl replied. 'My father wanted me to be an accountant, but I couldn't stand the thought of an office job.'

The Doctor snorted. 'Yeah because that would be the hard part for you.' He muttered.

Karl looked over his shoulder. 'And what are you implying?'

'Nothing,' the Doctor replied innocently. 'Nothing at all to do with your ability to process numbers.'

'Do you want to know something, Doctor?' Karl growled, stopping and twisting to see him better. 'I don't appreciate your discrimination.'

'Discrimination? Me? In the same sentence?' The Doctor stopped and considered this. 'Well actually I shouldn't be that surprised…'

'We do our best,' Karl went on. 'We have rescued countless maidens, slain many dragons. We are the most sought after heroes in the land. And I would also like to remind you that we are the only two to escape the castle alive.'

The Doctor's brow wrinkled. 'You mean there were more back there?'

Karl nodded. 'I think Feelia was the last. They are all there.'

'You mean all the heroes? All of them in the whole land?'

'Yes. I believe they were either killed by the dragon or eaten by its young.'

The Doctor's frown deepened. 'Why didn't you mention it earlier?'

'Why should I have?'

'Because we could have looked for others! Helped them escape!'

'Heroes don't need saving, sir.'

'Well you two did. If I hadn't turned up I bet you two would have been big gristly ice pops by now.' The Doctor sat back on his haunches and rubbed his face with one hand. 'Well we're going back anyway. We can look for others whilst we're there.'

Karl nodded. 'I suppose. Extreme times call for extreme measures.'

The Doctor nodded and opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped. He frowned and peered around Karl. 'Um… Where's Feelia?'

Karl looked around in alarm. He snatched the torch from the Doctor and shone it ahead. 'Feelia?' he called out, his voice echoing all along the tunnel. 'Feelia!'

The Doctor glanced back as he heard something moving in the water behind him. He reached forward and grabbed Karl's arm. 'Sshh!' he hissed.

Karl looked around, eyes wide. 'Feelia!' he bellowed.

'For God's sake be quiet!' The Doctor whispered harshly. 'Just for once! Shut up!'

Karl looked at him for a moment, jaw working. He snorted through his nose but remained quiet. The Doctor took the torch back and shone it down the tunnel behind him. Something long and thin slithered out of the light with a splash of water, too quick for the Doctor to get a good look. A second after and a similar noise sounded from the other direction, on Karl's side. The two men looked around, the Doctor checking both ways with the torch quickly, eyes scanning the surrounding blackness.

'Do you know if anything lives down here?' he whispered.

Karl shook his head. 'I heard stories of creatures hiding down here, but they are just children's tales.'

'Well in some places dragons are just children's tales, and we're pretty sure they exist.' The Doctor shone the light down the tunnel behind him. 'We're too far now to go back. We'll have to carry on.'

'What about Feelia?' Karl asked.

The Doctor's tone dropped. 'I'm sure we'll find him on the way.'

Karl regarded him for a second, and then nodded grimly. Without another word, he turned and began crawling through the sludge, the Doctor right behind him and something else splashing around behind them.

They had crawled another hundred yards or so when the tunnel began to widen. Above them, more tunnels sprouted off in various different directions, most of them going straight up. The Doctor stopped to peer into one of the vertical tunnels, pointing the torchlight straight upwards.

'How far do they go up?' he whispered.

Karl joined his side, now comfortably able to turn around fully. 'I'm not sure how far,' he replied. 'But I know they are connected to the other rooms. More sewage outlets.'

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow. 'Nice. Well let's just hope no one decides on a trip to the little Troll's room while we're down here, eh?' He pointed the torch ahead again and nodded for Karl to continue.

'So, can I ask you something, Doctor?' Karl asked as he travelled through the sludge.

'No I don't dye my hair,' the Doctor replied. 'But it's looking good for 900 plus, eh?'

Karl gave him a bemused look before he carried on. 'Where are you from?'

The Doctor clicked his tongue. 'Oh just a quaint cottage not far from the Three Bears. They have a lot of break in problems, but, touch wood, I've never had any.'

'I do not understand you. I assume you're trying to be humorous?'

The Doctor shrugged sadly. 'At one point I didn't have to try. But to answer your question, I'm from everywhere really. Don't have a fixed address at the moment, which isn't very good to enter competitions or anything. And it's basically impossible to pass a credit check, not that I would pass it even if I did have a fixed address…'

'So… are you a Freelance?'

'I'm sorry?'

'A Freelance Hero. You know, the kind that kind drop in where there's trouble and save the day, without being recruited. I always wanted to get into Freelancing, but I was worried about the pay.'

'Oh the pay in measly,' the Doctor replied. 'Actually, there is none.' He paused thoughtfully. 'I suppose I am a Freelancer. Never thought of it that way before. I don't really intentionally set out to find places that have managed to get all messed up, it just kind of happens. I blame the TARDIS.'

'TARDIS?' Karl repeated curiously. 'Is that your steed?'

The Doctor chuckled. 'If you like.'

Karl mulled over it for a moment. 'And where is it?'

'Probably still standing on Piccadilly Lane. More than likely frozen solid.' He sighed sadly. 'When I get back I'll have to warm her up, poor thing. Talking of steeds, what possessed you to get such an awful horse?'

'What, Arnold?' Karl replied. 'Oh he was going cheap. The sellers had the right idea to stick a feedbag on his face when I went for the viewing. I couldn't see anything wrong with him when I bought him, but then as soon as the bag came off… well, you probably know the rest. You mentioned that he was with your friend?'

'I think he is.' The Doctor nodded. 'If she hasn't roasted him by now. She's not very patient. In fact… she's probably not all that different attitude wise to the horse.'

'Then I feel very sorry for you, Doctor.'

It took the Doctor a moment to realise that this was an attempt at a joke, and he laughed gently. He opened his mouth to apologise to Karl for his rudeness earlier, but he was interrupted by a sound above him. Both men stopped instantly and the Doctor shone the torch up.

A pale hand hung down from the blackness in the tunnel directly above them. It was thick and scarred – obviously Feelia's. It was motionless. A drop of blood rolled down the arm, emerging from the darkness where the rest of him was hidden, and dropped off the end of his finger. It landed on the Doctor's shoulder with a soft _pat_.

'My God…' Karl murmured.

Something splashed around lightly behind the Doctor. The Doctor looked around, eyes wide but unable to penetrate the gloom. 'We need to move.' He said quietly. '_Now_.'

They both turned and crawled as fast as they could, ignoring the smell and the sewage that splashed in their faces. Behind the Doctor, something started to give chase, splashing and slithering through the water. Then more splashes sounded, and the Doctor had an awful feeling that more of them were dropping out of the tunnels above.

'_Go!_' he yelled at Karl as something brushed his feet. '_Faster_!'

Karl moved quicker, his breath coming out in harsh gasps. With more room now, the Doctor swapped his knees for his feet and began to race along on all fours. His back grazed the top of the tunnel. At one point he felt something moving replace the hard ceiling.

'There's light!' Karl cried, moving quicker. 'I can see the end!'

By now it sounded like there were dozens of the creatures chasing them. They kept trying to grab the Doctor's ankles – whether with claws or tentacles he couldn't tell. If they didn't get outside soon, he just knew they were going to suffer the same fate as Feelia.

The sudden sunlight took the Doctor by surprise and instead of getting on two feet and continuing to run, he stumbled and landed on his front. Karl had successfully traded four limbs for two and was racing across the open valley. He turned and began to race back when he noticed that the Doctor had fallen, but then he skidded to a halt – eyes wide with terror.

The Doctor only got a glimpse of what Karl had saw before the creatures engulfed him. They were small – no larger than domestic housecats, with screaming deformed faces and long, slug-like bodies. Their wings were like bat wings and they streamed out of the opening of the tunnel like bats out of hell. The Doctor felt the slimy bodies curling around his arms and legs, and grabbing the back of his suit. Then he was rising fast into the air and, just before the panic took over completely, he managed to think; _Oh not again._


	21. Dropping In

**A/N: Two updates! I forgot I had the next chapter saved... I thought I remembered writing it lol. If anyone wants to know the titles of my remaining three stories (the last three :o) check out my profile page. After all that moaning and whining that I couldn't get to Episode 13 well... I managed. With a lot of help lol. Hope the title of the last one doesn't sound too ominous. Oh who am I kidding, yes i do! xD

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**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Dropping In**

Ashley hauled open the closet doors and stared miserably at the jumbled and unorganised contents. Her thighs were throbbing and her feet felt like she had just stuck them over the top of a volcano until they were just nicely roasted. Her underarms felt horribly sticky and she knew that was where that awful smell was coming from. Apparently she hadn't scrubbed hard enough whilst washing herself earlier. She wanted nothing more than a good three hour long soak and then a good twenty-four hour sleep.

Sounded like heaven.

Actually, it sounded more like a flock of seagulls.

Ashley glanced towards the window, head cocked at the strange sounds that seemed to be getting louder and louder. It was some kind of squawking, mingled with a strange sound – like someone yelling. As the weird combination of squawking and yelling grew closer still, she realised that she recognised that yelling.

'Doctor?' she murmured, moving to the window. Leaning out on the ledge, she looked around at the land below. She could make out Arnie and Rapunzel down below, both of them looking up into the sky. Ashley frowned, and then looked up also. She could see nothing, despite the fact that the screeching sounded practically on top of her. She turned and ran to the other side of the tower to look out of the small, frosted glass window above the bathtub. She hopped in the bath, skidding and almost losing her footing in some bubbles that had been left behind, and pushed open the window. It was just bit enough for her head to fit out.

'Oh my God!' she cried. 'Doctor!' She squeezed her arm out and waved frantically. 'Doctor over here!'

About two-dozen strange slug-like winged creatures were carrying the Doctor through the air, screaming and cawing like birds – but they weren't birds. The Doctor was trashing and yelling, apparently oblivious to the immense drop below him. At the sound of Ashley's voice he looked around, and then spotted the tower.

'Over here!' she yelled again, waving frantically.

'I'm not exactly in control of my destination!' the Doctor yelled back, still struggling and trashing. He kicked out his left leg, which collided with one of the slug creatures. It lost its grip on him and flew away, squeaking frantically. Two others followed.

'They're going to drop you!' Ashley yelled. 'Stop struggling!'

The Doctor ignored her and actually upped his efforts. Two more creatures took off. The remaining ones seemed to be having a lot more difficulty holding him and they dipped dangerously in the air. This new change in altitude caught the Doctor's attention and, probably for the first time, he looked down. And then he yelled out in alarm.

Ashley looked down, hoping that there was some kind of stream directly below him or at least something that would cushion his fall, but she needn't have worried. When she looked back up, she realised that the creatures had changed course in a last ditch effort to hold onto their meal and were heading right for the tower. Or more importantly, the Doctor's kicking legs were heading right for her face.

Ashley quickly moved from the window just before there was a loud thump, and a groan, and a Converse clad foot poked in through the small window. The squawking and chattering of the creatures lingered for a moment, and then grew quieter.

'Doctor!' Ashley cried, grabbing onto his foot – which was the only part of him she could see. 'Thank God you're okay! I was terrified you were dead or something! I swear you're never leaving my side ever again, I've had the worst time since you-'

'It's great to see you too, Ashley,' the Doctor grunted. 'But now's not really the best time, okay? I'm clinging on for dear life here.'

Ashley climbed out of the tub, almost falling flat on her face for the second time. She looked around for something to help, but could see nothing. 'I don't know what to do!' she yelled. 'I only have… I have a blonde plait! A really long one! And a uh… a broom! Can you use those?' She waited for a response as she looked around for anything else. 'Doctor?' He wasn't responding.

She raced back to the small window and looked out. She immediately felt her stomach churning because the only reason she could look out of the window was because the Doctor's foot was no longer sticking through it. She tried to look down below, but there wasn't enough room for her to move her head.

'Doctor?' she yelled. 'Doctor! Where are you?'

A thump from behind her made her whirl around too quickly and this time she did slip on the wet enamel of the bath. She managed to go right over the edge, do quite a professional acrobatic flip, and landed on her back. She lay there, dazed and blinking. Then the Doctor's grinning, dirt smeared face leaned over her.

'You okay?' he asked.

Ashley looked up at him for a moment, and then wrapped her arms around his neck. 'You're alive. I knew you were alive. Christ I thought you were dead.'

'I won't be alive much longer if you don't let go of my neck.' The Doctor croaked, prying her arms from him. 'And try and be careful. I've been manhandled by some trolls and a dwarf.'

Ashley let go of him quickly and shoved him back with a grimace. 'Bloody hell you stink!' she cried, covering her nose. 'What's that?'

The Doctor looked down at himself and shrugged. 'I'd rather not know to be honest.' He glanced around, running a hand through his hair – which was wilder than usual. 'Where are we by the way?'

'Oh you're going to love this.' Ashley said, pushing herself to her feet. 'You never guess who I found.'

The Doctor looked around the circular room, the small amount of colour that was left in his cheeks now draining. 'I've been here before…'

'Damn right you have,' Ashley smirked. 'And she wants to have a few words with you.'

The Doctor groaned and rubbed his face. 'You mean she knows I'm here? Oh… pickles.'

'You said you needed to visit her, and from what she told me you need to do a lot of sucking up.'

'I just wanted to quickly apologise. You know… like, leave her a note or something. I didn't actually want to see… Oh never mind. That's not the important thing.'

'You're right.' Ashley nodded. 'The important thing is that you're here. And now we can get back to the TARDIS and get the hell away from this bloody place. I'm never going to be able to go inside a Disney Shop ever again in my life.'

The Doctor shook his head. 'We're not going anywhere. We need to go back to the castle.'

Ashley blinked at him for a moment. 'Why? Can't we just get out of here?'

'There's a dwarf who has somehow got control of a Troll army and a giant ice dragon. Normally, dwarves don't hold a lot of power in these parts. Most of the time they come in sevens and live with pretty girls named after weather conditions. This one though… well, he's not a very nice apple. And plus he has my sonic screwdriver.'

Ashley mulled it over for a moment. 'Well… can't we just go back in time when he was like, younger and push him off a hill or something? Or lock him in this tower?' The Doctor looked at her disapprovingly and she sighed. 'I know, I'm sorry. I'm just frazzled.'

'_You're_ frazzled? Try crawling through a sewage pipe with Fly-by-Nights chasing you.' He headed towards the window and peered out, before turning and tugging on the blonde braid to check its strength.

'Is that what they were?' Ashley asked, following him. 'Those flying things?'

The Doctor nodded. 'As the name suggests they usually come out at night. But, they must have been so excited to see a Home Delivery scampering by that they got carried away with themselves.' He turned to her and nodded to the braid. 'I take it you've already done this once then?'

Ashley nodded, and then remembered her actual reason for being back in the tower in the first place. 'Oh! Rapunzel said she had swords and stuff in here.' She moved to the cupboard and pulled it open, raking through the contents. 'I don't know if they're going to be any use or anything because I've never handled a sword in my life but…' She picked out a rather heavy gleaming sword and handed it to the Doctor with a shrug. He held it, checked its weight, and then swung it around his hand with familiarity and ease. Ashley blinked in surprise.

'Been ages since I've had a good sword fight,' he beamed at her. 'Lost my hand in the last one.' He raised one hand and wiggled his fingers, his eyebrows wiggling with them.

Ashley frowned in confusion. 'You're weird.'

He nodded in agreement and pointed towards the cupboard with the sword. 'Grab another one. And one for yourself if you think you can do anything with it. We'll probably find Karl on the way back.'

'Karl?' Ashley inquired as she grabbed two swords from the cupboard, along with the clothes Rapunzel had ordered her to bring back.

'Prince Karl. He's actually Arnie's rider.'

'Really? Small world.'

The Doctor nodded. 'It is actually. About the size of your moon.' Ignoring Ashley's frown he tucked the sword through his belt loop and tested the braid yet again. With no apparent nerves at all, he climbed up onto the ledge and leaned out, ready to abseil down. 'See you on the bottom then.' He grinned, and then disappeared.

Ashley stood where she was for a moment, holding two swords and a handful of clothes. She clicked her tongue and then tucked the two swords in her own belt and stuffed the clothes up the front of her top, before taking to the window and getting a grip on the braid.

She was just about to begin her decent – her _second_ decent – when she heard a sharp _slap_, the Doctor crying out in surprise, and a shrill barrage of insults. Unable to suppress a smirk, Ashley began to make her way down.


	22. Wounded

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**Wounded**

The Doctor walked a little ahead of the small group, still rubbing his cheek sulkily. He hadn't expected to be set upon so viciously by Rapunzel. Slapping, hair-pulling and shin kicking – he was never one for girly fighting. It always left him confused and panicked. In the end he had just flailed madly and hid behind Ashley who managed to get the princess to back off. At least she had stopped yelling insults at him now, which was a step forward he supposed. The one about his 'chicken legs' had hurt the most though. Of course he was going to have skinny legs; did she have any idea how much he ran in one day?

Pushing the angry princess from his thoughts he estimated how long it should take them to reach the castle. About an hour perhaps? They probably would have been able to see the peak of one of the towers if it wasn't for the dense foliage above them. So that left an hour to think of what they were going to do when they actually _got_ there. Sneaking in was out of the question – Princesses and horses generally don't do sneaking.

'How's your face?' Ashley asked, pulling up beside him.

'Handsome and slightly painful,' the Doctor replied. 'That girl's hands must be made out of steel.'

Ashley glanced over her shoulder. Rapunzel was now sitting on the back of Arnie, both legs on one side with her knees together. If Arnie suddenly decided to run she would probably tumble right off, seeing as she was more concerned with braiding her hair again than hanging onto the reins. Arnie's expression was dark and brooding. He had been mostly silent since they had left the tower, only piping up every now and then to state that they didn't even need him anymore, and that he had things he would rather be doing like sleeping or trying to break his own legs. He moaned, but didn't make any attempt to leave them.

'So what's the plan then?' Ashley asked, grimacing at something disgusting that hung from the Doctor's sleeve.

'Ah, well… I haven't quite gotten that far yet.' He admitted. 'I suppose the first step is to find out exactly what's going on. I think it's already quite obvious that Janex is blackmailing the Trolls, or at least he's brainwashed them. Trolls aren't really well known for their strong brainpower. They're quite impressionable.'

Ashley sighed and rubbed her head with the heel of her hand. 'I should have known you'd just come back with more bloody questions than answers. Okay… Tell you what; we'll plan together. Two heads are better than one, right?'

The Doctor glanced to her, amused. 'I imagine so, yes. Although I normally count myself as two.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'What happened there exactly? I mean… what did you see? How big was the castle, that kind of thing.'

'I didn't really _see_ the castle from the outside,' the Doctor replied, rubbing his chin. 'I was quite frozen when I arrived by air and was quite panicked when I left in the same manner.' He waved a hand dismissively and turned and grinned at her. 'But enough about me. We have plenty of time to come up with plans. How about you, eh?' He nudged her with his elbow. 'Going around rescuing damsels? You're practically a hero now.'

'_I_ was the one who needed rescuing.' Ashley replied bitterly. 'She tried to get me in a dress.'

The Doctor put on a shocked expression. 'Never!' he breathed sarcastically. 'Now if someone had just tried to get a dress on me I'd have been a lot happier.'

Ashley turned and glowered at him. 'What is this, a competition to see who had the worst time?'

'Of course not, that would be childish. But I'm pretty sure I would win if it was.' He stopped and shielded his eyes from the light to peer across the valley they had just arrived at. 'We should be there soon.'

'Sooner we get there the sooner we can leave.' Ashley nodded.

Arnie arrived at her side; Rapunzel still perched on his back. He turned and looked at Ashley, grimacing slightly. Rapunzel had barely registered that they had stopped. She brushed her newly made braid over her shoulder and adjusted the green beret-style hat on her head. She glanced briefly at the Doctor – who was paying no attention to her – and repositioned herself so she was leaning back a little with her chest sticking out.

'Why have we stopped?' Ashley asked, following the Doctor's gaze across the valley. 'Do you see something?'

'I see someone,' the Doctor replied. 'It might be Karl but…' He squinted. 'But it could be a bear…'

Arnie groaned loudly. 'Oh just my frigging luck. Everyone either gets frozen or bloody emigrates and out of _everyone_ we manage to run into bloody Papa Bear.'

Ashley glanced to him curiously. 'Why's that so bad? What is he, nasty or something?' She looked stricken. 'Will he try to eat us?'

Arnie snorted. 'Papa bear's a vegetarian. Actually he won't even touch eggs or milk… one of them, y'know.'

'Oh yeah…' Rapunzel nodded, scrunching her nose. 'What do they call them? Vegetables?'

'Vegans.' The Doctor corrected.

'Whatever.' Rapunzel muttered, glancing away to examine her fingernails.

'Anyway,' Arnie went on. 'Couple of weeks ago someone broke into their house. Again – they're not very lucky y'know. And I just so _happen_ to be wearing the saddle that had been in his shed.'

Ashley frowned at him. 'You nicked his stuff?'

'No!' Arnie insisted. 'Some kids were selling it. Dead cheap. Only cost me one horseshoe.'

'Fascinating,' the Doctor mumbled. 'But it's not Papa Bear. It's Karl.'

Arnie squinted and then whinnied in irritation. 'Oh bloody fabulous! I'd rather it was Papa Bear!'

The Doctor made a strange, strained sound and Ashley looked to him. 'What?'

'There's something wrong with him…' the Doctor mumbled, and then hurried towards the figure that was lumbering towards them. Ashley followed quickly, but Arnie hesitated.

'What are you waiting for?' Rapunzel demanded. 'He's leaving us! I mean… we need to see what's going on!'

Arnie frowned vaguely, and then trotted forward.

By now, both the Doctor and Ashley were running across the vast valley. Ashley glanced up through the huge gap in the trees, having to narrow her eyes at the sudden sunlight. She saw the tips of the castle over the top of the trees ahead and knew that they weren't far now. She cursed at the swords that hit her legs as she ran but tried to ignore them. The Doctor was moving much quicker now and reached Karl already. Ashley frowned slightly as the huge, dark haired man collapsed in the Doctor's arms. Unable to hold him, the Doctor had no choice but to let him fall to the ground. It was then when Ashley noticed the long, thin object protruding from the man's side.

'What happened?' she asked, finally reaching them.

The Doctor lay Karl on his back and inspected the wound. 'It's a spear.' He reported, wincing at the sight of the bloody wound. 'And if I'm not mistaken it's of Troll design.'

'Do… Doct…' Karl spluttered, horrifying all around with the blood that lined the inside of his mouth. He grasped for the Doctor with one huge hand.

'It's okay, Karl,' the Doctor told him. 'You're going to be fine. Just keep still, okay?'

Ashley knelt down beside them and looked to the Doctor with wide eyes. 'What do we do?' she asked.

The Doctor shook his head. 'Those spears have barbed ends. If we pull it out we'll… it's out of the question.'

By now Arnie and Rapunzel had arrived. Rapunzel slid off the back of the horse and stood back, her hand over her mouth. Arnie looked on with a strangely blank expression. Ashley pulled off her jacket and wrapped it around the protruding spear, pushing it down on the wound. Karl grunted and went rigid, and grabbed the Doctor's arm tighter.

'There… there are guards…' he croaked. 'All… all around…'

'How many?' the Doctor asked urgently. 'Did you see how many?'

Karl tried to force out more words, but only a trickle of blood slithered from the corner of his mouth. He took in a wavering breath, went rigid, and then breathed out slowly. His eyes unfocused and his body went limp.

Ashley watched him with wide eyes, waiting for him to move again. When it had sunk in that he had just died, she looked up to the Doctor. 'What do we do?' she almost whispered.

The Doctor stood up, eyes dark and brow deeply furrowed. 'We keep going.' He replied.

Ashley stood up. 'He said the place is surrounded, Doctor! We can't just run in there, we'll get killed.'

He turned to her, now almost scowling. 'You can set things on fire,' he reminded her. 'We can get in there.'

Ashley frowned and looked at him incredulously. 'I'm sorry? Are you suggesting I head the group and burn the place out?'

The Doctor's jaw worked. His expression softened – but only very slightly. She knew that he didn't mean it, but she also knew that he meant business. There was no way they were leaving until they had sorted this mess out.

'Even if I _would_, which I bloody well won't, I _can't_. I tried to use it earlier but it didn't work. I don't know if it's the cold or…'

The Doctor exhaled and nodded. 'The cold will affect it, yes.' He thought for a long moment. While he was doing this, Ashley looked back to the others. Rapunzel was standing off to one side, her arms wrapped around herself and looking off to the side with a pale face. Arnie was by his ex-rider, nudging his arm with his nose gently.

'Well how did you get out?' Ashley asked. 'We can get back in the same way.'

'There's dragons,' the Doctor told her. 'Three of them. Babies. Well, they're still huge. There's no way we can get back in through that way.'

'There is a way.' Rapunzel said quietly. So quietly in fact that the Doctor didn't hear her. Ashley did, however, and turned to look at her.

'What did you say?'

Rapunzel turned to face them and cleared her throat. 'There is a way in that castle.' She repeated. 'An old… um, it's a smuggler's tunnel. That castle used to be used by um, a few of the forest dwellers when it was abandoned. They would hoard stuff in there. It runs out of the west side of the castle and to the edge of the woods.'

The Doctor looked at her questioningly. 'How do you know that?'

Rapunzel shrugged. 'I dated Robin Hood for a while.'

The group was silent for a moment. The Doctor nodded and began walking once again, heading across the valley. Ashley started after him, put then felt a hand on her arm. She turned around to see Rapunzel with her hand out.

'Give me one of those.' She said, nodding to the swords.

Ashley hesitated. 'Are you sure?'

Rapunzel scowled. 'I'm a frigging princess. If I say give it to me, you give it to me. Got that?'

Ashley blinked at her, and then handed a sword over. Rapunzel nodded and then headed after the Doctor, stepping over Karl's body as she went. Ashley glanced to Arnie. He looked at her solemnly, and then followed. Ashley bit her lip, took a deep breath, and brought up the rear of the peculiar band of heroes.


	23. Ambush

**A/N: I was thinking (I know, dangerous) since I got back after my internet drought I've got a whole bunch of new ideas for stories - more than the last three I need for this series thing so... would people like to see a Xmas Special, and then an attempt at a series 2? I know it's took like, a year to get this far in series 1 but hell, there's no Doctor Who next year. It needs to be filled somehow! Anywho, if people want a Xmas-y type one I can start thinking of a Xmas theme now lol.**

**And this one is starting to wrap up now (Over 26 chapters and it would be toooooo long XD)

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**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**Ambush**

'Maybe it's like… dinner time or something.' Arnie suggested while he peered around an old gnarled, dead tree. 'Or maybe there's a sale on babies and mead somewhere.'

Ashley glanced to the Doctor, worried about the lack of… well, _anything_ around the castle. 'Maybe it's a trap.'

The Doctor shook his head, still studying the deserted castle. 'No. Trolls aren't smart enough for traps. One of them would have sneezed or chased a butterfly by now.'

The four of them were hiding in a line of foliage that made up the very edge of the Dark Woods. The castle ahead of them looked like any other kind of creepy, villain's castle. The sky was even darker above it. There were numerous towers that just seemed to twist off left right and centre, almost like they were defying gravity. Dead trees scattered the outside. There was a squawk from somewhere, but nothing moved.

'Well we'll just go in then,' Rapunzel shrugged, who had surprised everyone by being quite gung-ho about storming the castle. She had tucked all of her remaining hair in her cap and was clutching tightly onto her sword. 'If we see any of those disgusting Trolls, we'll just decapitate them.'

'Now hold on a minute, Rambina,' Ashley told her. 'We need a plan.' She glanced to the Doctor. 'You did come up with a plan, didn't you?'

The Doctor's gaze lingered on the castle for a moment, and then he turned to them with a shrug. 'Well there's no one there. We could just go in.'

Ashley stared at him. 'Are you kidding me? Did you see what happened to Karl? We only need to step out there and we'll get kebabed. I'm sorry, but I've got the right amount of holes in my body already, and I don't want or need any more. I think we should go with the tunnel. At least then we'll have half a chance.'

'No, not the tunnel,' the Doctor replied. 'I've had enough of tunnels for one lifetime, thank you very much.'

Arnie whinnied. 'I agree with Red, actually. Even though it makes me feel a bit nauseous admitting that.'

'See? Two against two.' Ashley crossed her arms.

The Doctor nodded and smacked his lips. 'I suppose you're right.' He paused for a moment, giving Ashley a little time to be smug. Her smugness soon evaporated when he nodded to Rapunzel and stood up. 'Come on then.'

Rapunzel hopped up and followed him out of their hiding place. Ashley watched them in alarm, and then went to shout after him but decided better of it and just whispered loudly.

'Doctor!' she hissed. She looked around warily before following. 'Oi!'

The Doctor and Rapunzel sauntered through the open ground like they were just crossing the street, not approaching a castle full of bloodthirsty Trolls. Ashley quickly joined them and slapped the Doctor on his arm.

'We're going to get killed.' She hissed.

'Quite possibly,' he replied. 'But not yet. The reason there's no Trolls here is because they want us to get inside the castle. It's once we're in that we have to start worrying.'

'And that's supposed to make me feel better?' She glanced back and noticed that Arnie hadn't followed them. 'See, he's got the right idea.'

'Oh cool your jets,' the Doctor rolled his eyes. 'We'll be fine. You're with me.'

'Cool your jets?' Rapunzel queried, and then glanced to Ashley in bewilderment.

'It's a saying.' The Doctor assured her. She nodded, but still looked confused.

'Okay, fine.' Ashley seethed. 'Castle storming it is then. But I bet you it won't be long before I have to tell you I told you so.'

The Doctor shook his head. 'No one ever says that to me.'

Before anyone else had a chance to respond, there was a clang of armour and a chorus of grunting and growling. The three of them came to a halt and watched in alarm as a few dozen Trolls came pouring from various nooks and crannies in the hillside to their right and came thundering towards them. They turned to run, but realised there were even more of them coming from the other direction. The Trolls came to a halt in a large, disorganised circle around them, but made no further approach.

Ashley took a breath to speak, but the Doctor beat her to it.

'Okay, don't say it.' He sighed. He stepped forward and tossed his sword to the ground. 'Alright, we surrender. Take us to your vertically impaired leader.'

* * *

'Oh, _goodness_! Haven't you heard of hand cream? Your palms are like sandpaper!'

The Troll looked at Rapunzel in complete bewilderment and grunted. She grimaced and waved her free hand in front of her face.

'Oh, pooh! Apparently you haven't heard of a toothbrush either.'

Ashley looked around at their Troll escort with a frown. They were currently being marched up a stone corridor that was decorated with nothing but dust and cobwebs. Very minimalist. It was freezing also – much colder than it was outside. Ashley had to admit that she never really cared for the cold, but she restrained herself from moaning about it. Instead, she leaned towards the Doctor, who was being dragged along beside her.

'You planned this all along, didn't you?' she muttered. 'You bloody arse.'

He turned and beamed at her. 'I told you! You'll be fine. You're with me.'

Ashley sighed and frowned. 'Well I hope you've actually got something useful and less death-wishy up your sleeve from now on, because otherwise we're royally fu-'

'Shut up.' The nearest Troll barked at her. She turned and scowled at it, but did as she was told.

About thirty seconds or so later, they came to a stop at a large wooden door. The Doctor leaned towards Ashley, grinning. 'This is great.' He whispered. She snapped her head around to him irritably, wondering what was so great about being captured by Trolls. The doors opened, and she looked around the room. When her eyes fell on its only occupant, she snorted aloud.

'So we meet again.' Janex the Dwarf said grandly, lifting one tiny arm up towards them. 'And I see you've brought two maidens with you. Very nice.'

'Ha!' Ashley laughed. 'It's friggin' Verne Troyer!'

Janex's brown darkened. 'When she is sent down to the Troll's quarters, she should be gagged. They don't care for noise much.'

Ashley's smile dropped. 'What? I'm not going anywhere, Dumpy.'

'I'd advise you to be silence,' Janex growled.

'Ashley,' the Doctor whispered. 'Just do as he says. I'll deal with this.'

'And _Rapunzel_!' Janex beamed, moving forward. 'How nice it is to see you again. Although I must admit you have filled out a little.'

Rapunzel looked horrified. 'I have _not_!' she cried.

Janex grinned, pleased at upsetting her, and returned his sights on the Doctor. 'So you managed to escape. Very clever, hero. Although I must say that you made a rather stupid mistake by coming back here.'

The Doctor was glaring at him. 'Karl and Feelia are dead. You killed them. Along with countless others. I'm not done here.'

Janex sniffed. 'Well I was told they were doing perfectly well until I had you put in with them. Perhaps it was you who killed them.'

'You were going to feed us to dragons!'

'You probably would have survived,' Janex replied, waving a hand. 'They only wanted to play. However you did do me one favour by escaping, I'm now aware of the sewage pipe that runs out of the back. I'm going to have that blocked up as soon as all this is over.'

'All what, exactly?' the Doctor demanded. 'What is it that you're trying to achieve? Have everyone killed until it's just you and your Troll army? Then what? Sit in here for the rest of your life?'

Janex chuckled. 'Well it won't just be me. I think I'll have your two maidens join me.'

'I'd pull your sodding eyes out.' Ashley growled.

'Very well, you can go to the gallows with your hero.' He nodded to the Trolls. 'Take them away.'

'Wait, wait,' the Doctor insisted, pulling against the Troll that hauled him back. 'Before you have us hung or maimed or whatever floats your boat, at least tell me why.'

Janex turned and scowled at him. 'Do you want to know _why_? Really?' He shuffled forward on his short legs. 'Okay, hero. I'll tell you why. It's because I _hate_ this place! With all those big thick-brained heroes running around posing for the tourists. Everyone turning into sell-outs! When I was young, before they decided to turn the place into a damn attraction, it was nice. I had a nice cottage in the woods with a nice garden and a little elf who used to live behind the skirting boards… I was never bothered. Until one day when I was feeding my elf, some great big fat tourist from Clom started taking photos of me through my window! Then I found out that there was a tour bus full of them! My cottage was one of their stops! Then it just got worse and worse. The three little pigs wanted to build a mansion style home with the money they had made in their real-estate business, and their plans meant my cottage had to be flattened! Because their father was on the council they got their wish and down went my home. After that I thought what this place needed was a good cleanout. Get rid of all the bad apples. Make it quaint again.'

'So you recruited a bunch of Trolls and a dragon to do it for you?' the Doctor asked with lowered eyebrows. 'Doesn't sound all that quaint to me.'

'It will be once I'm through and the Trolls go back!' Janex roared.

'And what makes you think they'll go back? The only thing keeping them away from here was the heroes, and you've done away with them all!' the Doctor yelled back. 'You think they're going to do what you say when this is all over?'

Janex flushed red. 'I have their word. They were sick of heroes burning down their homes and hunting them. And they were sick of people trip-trapping over their bridges at all hours of the day and night. So inconsiderate, you know? They just want some peace, like me.'

'If they want some peace they shouldn't go around eating babies and cute woodland animals.' Rapunzel scowled.

Janex waved his arms. 'If we can't accept them for who they are, how can they possibly accept us?'

'They _do_ accept us!' Rapunzel snarled. 'On a plate with some cabbage and potatoes! I think you have just proven that you're very much insane, little man.'

'I think I've heard enough from you. I don't think I could put up with your constant noise, so all three of you can go up to the gallows.'

'What about the dragon?' the Doctor demanded, before he could be pulled away again. 'Dragons are wild. They don't work for anyone.'

Janex turned away, shrugging his shoulders. 'Let's just say I was… persuasive.'

Everything clicked in the Doctor's mind at that moment. 'You're holding her babies hostage, aren't you? She's on a rampage because you have her babies.'

Janex shrugged, still facing away from them. 'Decisions have to be made sometimes, some harder than others.' He glanced back around to them. 'This one, however, is easy. Take them away.'

'You _can't_ hang me!' Rapunzel wailed. 'I haven't even met my prince yet!'

The Trolls hauled them back out of the doors. The Doctor pointed a finger at Janex, scowling angrily.

'I'm going to end this, just you see.'

Janex waved a dismissive hand and turned back to the window.


	24. The Execution

**A/N: Um... I don't really know what to say about this chapter apart from that I think I've banged my head or something. Feeling a tad crazy today... but I'm sure it'll pass. One more chapter left, and then it's finitooooo :D

* * *

**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**The Execution**

'Well I've go to admit,' the Doctor sighed as the cold wind whipped around him. 'I didn't see it ending like this.'

Ashley grimaced at the Troll as it pushed the looped rope over her head. 'Now would be a good time for one of those innovative plans of yours.'

The Doctor squinted in thought. 'Well… I did have one, but it includes a banana and a miracle.'

Ashley glanced to him quizzically. 'What's the banana for?'

'For celebrating the miracle.'

'This can't be _happening_!' Rapunzel wailed. She looked very unattractive with puffy, wet eyes and bright red cheeks. 'I'm too pretty to be hanged!'

'Well at least one thing will come out of this,' Ashley sighed. 'I won't have to put up with her much longer.'

The three of them stood on the turrets on what appeared to be the highest tower of the castle. Behind them the Trolls were tying off the other ends of the ropes to iron hooks in the ground. The view was incredible from where they were; they could see right across the whole land. Even with the dark clouds above it seemed even more spectacular than when they first landed on the top of the hill, but Ashley assumed that was only because it was the last thing she would ever see. She glanced across to the Doctor, whose expression was a mixture of annoyance and acceptance. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but the gap was too wide.

'You know,' she said. 'This might be the crappiest exit imaginable, but… Well, you know. I'm glad I met you, Doctor.'

His eyes narrowed briefly. To her annoyance, his only response was, 'Mmm.'

She frowned. 'I'm sorry? Are those going to be your last words? Oh come on, I had you pegged as the teary speech kind of bloke.'

He was looking at something ahead and for a while it didn't occur to Ashley to look and see what it was. Having already accepted that there was no way out of their current predicament, she assumed he was just ignoring her.

'Oh well that's just lovely.' She snorted. 'And here I was thinking that you might have something nice to say. I swear to God, Doctor when we go to Limbo or wherever the hell we end up, I'm going to totally…' She trailed off when she saw what he was watching and her face dropped. 'Oh… balls.'

The Doctor turned and looked at her with wild eyes. He grinned broadly. 'Fall back on three.' He told her.

Ashley glanced behind her to the stone floor of the tower. 'Are you sure? That looks like it'll hurt a bit…'

'One…' he said, looking forward again.

'What… what are you doing?' Rapunzel sniffled.

'Two…'

'Fall back when he says three.' Ashley told her.

'But it'll _hu-urt_!' Rapunzel whined.

Behind them the Trolls were beginning to react to their incoming visitor.

'Three!' The Doctor cried.

On cue, the three of them fell backwards off the turret, just as the huge dragon swept over the top of them. Its beating wings missed them by inches, but managed to take out about five of the ten Trolls behind them. They howled out as they went tumbling over the side of the tower to the ground below. The dragon roared deafeningly, and then began to turn for another dive at the tower.

As she had expected, the fall had hurt. But probably not as much as if they had fell the other way. Ashley went to get to her feet, rubbing her head, but the Doctor yanked her back down. It was lucky too, as the dragon swept over them yet again, this time only leaving one Troll standing.

'What the hell is it doing?' Ashley cried, watching the creature soar up into the clouds.

The Doctor grinned at her. 'Now all I need is that banana. Come on.' He hauled her to her feet and pulled her towards the door that led back down into the castle.

The remaining Troll growled and followed, but then saw the dragon incoming again. It yelped and ducked, narrowly missing being torn apart by the creature's powerful jaws. The Doctor and Ashley sprinted through the door and took the stairs down two at a time.

'What about Rapunzel?' Ashley cried.

'I'm here!' Rapunzel replied, surprisingly close to her. 'Nice to see that you only started worrying _after_ you were safe!'

Ashley glanced back and gave her a weak shrug, but continued after the Doctor. They were halfway down the corridor when several Trolls marched around the corner, swords held in their huge hands. The Doctor skidded to a halt, causing the two women to slam into the back of him.

'Okay, should have expected that…' he muttered.

The Trolls growled and charged, but they didn't get far. A door to the left suddenly exploded into millions of tiny splinters and a huge, slobbering grey creature stood in the middle of the corridor.

For about five seconds, no one moved. The Trolls looked on in alarm as the huge wolf eyed everyone with its beady, red eyes. It took a step towards the Doctor and Ashley, and then turned to the Trolls. With a guttural growl, it launched itself at them.

'Back!' The Doctor yelled, shoving the other two back down the corridor. 'Back _now_!'

Neither complained. They sprinted back down the stone corridor, leaving the wolf to savage the screaming Trolls. Soon they came to another flight of stairs, which they hurried down despite their steepness.

'That was the bloody Big Bad Wolf!' Ashley cried. 'The one that tried to eat me!'

The Doctor nodded, breathing heavily. 'Oh, really?'

His sarcasm was lost on Ashley. 'What the hell is it doing here?'

Before the Doctor could attempt an answer, they were interrupted yet again. However they came to a halt in confusion rather than horror. In the corridor, covered in armour that looked like it had been pulled out of a kitchen, stood three little pigs. The largest one (which only came up to the Doctor's waist) waved a short sword around.

'Identify yourself!' it squealed. 'Before we slash your ankles!'

'We're okay!' the Doctor cried. 'I'm the Doctor, this is Ashley and that's Rapunzel.'

Rapunzel was leaning against the wall, breathing heavily. She waved a weak hand to the pigs. 'Hi guys.' She huffed.

'Oh, hey Zel.' One of the pigs replied.

Ashley stared at them. 'What the…?' She couldn't manage anything else.

'Rumpelstiltskin is down there somewhere,' one of the pigs informed them. 'Watch for him though because sometimes he just seems to appear out of nowhere. If you go down the right side of the castle it should be clear of Trolls. Is it clear that way?'

'Well, there's a wolf.' The Doctor replied.

The three pigs nodded solemnly. 'Then it will be by now. Remember, head down the right side.'

With that, the three of them trotted off up the corridor, armour clanging and tinging as they went. Ashley turned and looked at the Doctor in shock. 'Did that just happen?' she asked. 'Or did I knock myself out when I fell off the side?'

The Doctor beamed at her, grabbed her hand, and dragged her along the corridor.

* * *

The sights on the way down the castle were quite amazing. It appeared that the whole castle was under siege by everything from cute but savage woodland creatures (it had been quite distressing to see two sparkly eyed deer ramming a Troll into the wall), to several dwarves taking out five more Trolls with a battering ram. However, after travelling down approximately seventeen flights of stairs, they reached the entrance hall. And that was when things got _really_ weird.

'You're a meanie.' Jack spat as he kicked and bound and gagged Troll in the shin.

'Kick him again, Jack.' Jill cried shrilly, whilst twisting another bound Troll's ear.

Just beyond them stood Arnie, yelling at a rather pretty brunette with a hammer to get up into the left wing to help out the three bears. She did so, closely followed by a small army of squirrels. He glanced around, noticed the arrival of the Doctor, Ashley and Rapunzel, and trotted towards them.

'You idiots okay?' he asked.

They could do nothing but stare at him.

'What's the matter with you lot?' Arnie frowned. 'Did they finish your lobotomies off for you or something?'

'What… Did you do this?' the Doctor asked, stepping aside to allow a young cute girl with blonde ringlets and a frying pan to run by.

Arnie straightened his neck. 'Well I _am_ a prince's horse.'

'How did you…?' Ashley blinked at the insanity around her. 'How could you…? How?'

'I knew I could count on you for an intelligent question.' Arnie muttered. 'Well it was pretty easy really. I told a little birdie to get everyone to meet up down here and down they came. People can get awfully protective when they realise their lives are at risk.'

'How did you get the dragon to help?' the Doctor asked, completely astounded by the turn of events.

Arnie shrugged. 'I didn't. I'm guessing she's just following the flock. Dragons aren't really all that smart you know. Easily influenced. Guess she just thought an attack on the castle looked like fun.'

The Doctor grinned broadly. 'Well it looks like you've proved yourself after all.'

Arnie snorted. 'Yeah. Pity Karl wasn't around to see it.' He paused. 'Although this will probably cover my retirement; saving the whole land and all.'

Ashley frowned slightly. 'But you didn't even want to help at the beginning.'

Arnie rolled his eyes. 'Oh well I'm _sorry_. I shouldn't have bothered then. Hell, you're just full of gratitude you are. No wonder you're single.'

Ashley blushed and fell silent. The Doctor glanced around and noticed that the chaos seemed to be quietening down. Obviously it was almost over.

'Where's Janex?' he asked.

'Who, the dwarf?' Arnie glanced around. 'Snow White had him last time I saw her. She's got a way with dwarfs, she has. She'll sort him out.'

The Doctor nodded, smiling faintly. 'He's got something of mine that I'd like back.'

'He'll probably be out front.' Arnie nodded. 'Now you'll have to excuse me. Those bloody pigs are still running around upstairs and the wolf hasn't checked back in yet. Last thing I need on my head is three little pork chops.'

Arnie trotted away past them and the Doctor and Ashley looked at each other, still slightly mystified.

'Do you think it's okay if we go now?' she asked. 'It looks like they've got everything under control.'

'If it's alright with you,' the Doctor replied. 'I'd like to wait and see how this story ends.' He put an arm around her shoulders and they stood back to watch the last of the Trolls being bound up.


	25. Happily Ever After

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**Happily Ever After**

It was funny how a little castle storming can bring a whole community together. It was quite heart warming to see the Big Bad Wolf helping the three little pigs take a few of the captures Trolls to the nearby jail. Although it was slightly bewildering to see Snow White fussing over the grumpy little dwarf who had caused the whole mess in the first place.

'You know, it's funny how we weren't even needed.' Ashley said to the Doctor as they emerged from the woods and into the small village where the TARDIS still stood, waiting for their return. The ice had melted now and puddles scattered the street. There was still a single icicle hanging on the side of the TARDIS, but it was dripping like a tap. 'I mean,' Ashley continued, hopping over one of the many puddles. 'We went on one hell of a trek, you know? At least I did. You got a first class flight both ways.'

'Oh, it felt more like economy.' The Doctor replied. 'Although there was an awful lot of leg room.'

Ashley smiled. 'Although it makes you wonder whether or not they would have done anything if we hadn't got Arnie off his lazy behind.'

The Doctor nodded in agreement, but then stopped and put one hand to his head. 'Oh, damn!' he cried.

Ashley looked at him in alarm. 'What is it?'

'We didn't go to see the gingerbread house!' he cried in disappointment. 'You can't come to Fanallasoratia without visiting the gingerbread house!'

'I don't mean to be a grouch, but I think I've had enough of fairytale stuff for one lifetime. Actually, I think I've had enough of it for _five_ lifetimes.' Ashley walked ahead, shaking her head. 'I probably won't be able to even look at horses for a long time.' The Doctor caught up with her and slung one arm casually around her shoulders. 'Well I suppose we had more fun than anyone could ever have at the gingerbread house.' Ashley said. 'Dragons, Trolls… There's some Lord of the Rings geeks who would _kill_ to see that.'

The Doctor chuckled. 'And we didn't even go to see the Shire.'

Ashley turned and looked at him in bewilderment, but he only winked. The conversation ended there as they had reached the TARDIS. The Doctor took out his key and pushed it in the lock, but then stopped and examined the wood panelling. He turned and looked at Ashley, frowning.

'Don't tell me those scorch marks are off you.'

Ashley raised her eyebrows. 'What scorch marks?'

The Doctor pointed a finger at two almost invisible black marks on the door. 'That better come off.' He said, warningly.

'It was frozen solid!' Ashley insisted. 'I didn't really have much of a choice. The bloody thing is covered in scratches anyway.'

The Doctor held the door open for her and she began to go inside, when a shrill voice cut through the air. Both of them looked around to see Rapunzel hurrying over to them, waving her hand in the air as if she was flagging down a cab.

'Oh Doctor!' she called. '_Doctor_! Wait a moment!'

'Inside, go inside _now_,' the Doctor whispered harshly, pushing Ashley.

Ashley smirked. 'What, inside the TARDIS?' she teased, holding onto the door and blocking his escape. 'But Rapunzel is coming over. We should really say goodbye you know.'

'Go inside!' he whispered with more urgency, but it was too late. Rapunzel arrived, smiling broadly.

'Where are you going?' she asked. She inspected the box. 'Is that a lavatory?'

The Doctor frowned. 'No. We're off now. You know, places to go, people to avoid and all that.'

Rapunzel looked confused. 'But I thought we had an agreement.'

The Doctor glanced around. 'I'm sorry?'

'_You're_ the last hero in the land,' Rapunzel said with a frown. 'Which means that we have to get married.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes. 'Oh not this again. Look, Rapunzel. You're a lovely girl and that but… well, I'm just not the marriage kind of person, okay? And plus. I would need a Visa.'

Rapunzel frowned deeply. 'Then what am I supposed to do?' she demanded, stamping her foot. 'I'm a princess without a prince! That's like… that's like a rabbit without…'

'Big ears?' Ashley offered, half smiling.

Rapunzel pointed at her. 'Exactly.'

'Why do you have to marry a hero anyway?' the Doctor asked. 'I'm sure there are lots of very nice men around. Like, oh I don't know… blacksmiths.'

Rapunzel almost choked on the insult. '_Blacksmiths_?' she spluttered. 'Are you _insane_?'

'Orlando Bloom was a blacksmith in Pirates of the Caribbean. He got it on with a princess.' Ashley shrugged.

'Keira Knightly wasn't a princess,' the Doctor informed her. 'She was like… a governors daughter or something.'

Ashley frowned. 'Oh, right. Well I never really paid much attention to the storyline anyway. I used to fast forward to all the Johnny Depp parts.' She nodded and winked to Rapunzel. 'You should marry a pirate.'

Rapunzel's bottom lip stuck out. 'What about my happy ending? I'm going to be the only princess in the whole of history who has a miserable life. I had a better life in that tower!'

The Doctor shrugged his shoulders. 'Well then you're just going to have to retrain a whole new bunch of heroes.' He replied. 'Then marry the one you like.'

Rapunzel began to complain, but then stopped. 'So… you're saying that now that there are no professional heroes left, we just need to pick new ones?'

The Doctor nodded. 'Well, yes I suppose…'

'So,' Rapunzel tested, frowning. 'If I take say… a handsome young man who works on a farm that might just be quite nearby the castle and have my father knight him then… I could marry him. And that would be okay.'

The Doctor smirked. 'I don't see anything wrong with that.'

Rapunzel nodded, satisfied. 'Well it's a good job really.' She sniffed at the Doctor. 'I don't think our marriage would have lasted very long anyway, taking in mind your peculiar penchant for going in small boxes with other girls.'

The Doctor blushed slightly. 'Well, it's not really small…'

'And plus you're too skinny.' Rapunzel finished with a sigh, signifying that the conversation was now boring her immensely. 'Well, I suppose I should thank you both for sorting this big stupid mess out. Even if neither of you really did anything useful in the end.'

The Doctor and Ashley exchanged bewildered glances. 'Well, um… thanks.' Ashley replied.

Rapunzel half nodded. 'Well, goodbye Doctor.' She eyed him up and down once more and then sauntered away, head held high.

The Doctor turned and grimaced at Ashley. 'I've never liked princesses that much,' he told her. 'High expectations.'

Ashley smiled and noticed something past his shoulder. 'Hey, look at that.' She pointed up towards the sky. The Doctor turned and followed her finger, and then grinned at the sight of the dragon flying by, three smaller dragons weaving and ducking around it. 'Aww,' Ashley smiled. 'Kind of makes you almost forget that it nearly killed us.'

The Doctor smiled and nodded. 'Come on then, in we get. Before something else kicks off.'

'So I take it this is a happy ending?' Ashley asked as they went inside the TARDIS. 'I don't think I've ever been part of a happy ending before.'

The Doctor beamed broadly at her as he closed the TARDIS doors and bounded towards the console. He grabbed the lever and replied, 'Oh, it hasn't ended yet.'

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N: I really wanted to say 'and they think it's all over...' but that would be silly :P Anyways, sorry if some people think this ending has been rushed but, well it was going on for far too long. I can't remember the original ending I had planned, but the thought of cute Bambi-esque deer ramming Trolls around just kind of made my day a little :D Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, I know I didn't reply to a lot of them but I have a crappy memory and my brain tells me that I've actually replied, when I haven't. I am really really grateful though, you're all uber awesome :D**

**EDIT: I know I said the next one would be Degeneration, but I'm having a bit of trouble with it. The trouble being that I can't finish it lol! So the next one will probably be called The Angel's Eye :P Sorry, I'm uber indecisive lol.  
**


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